Behind The Scenes

68. Jo

I did nothing today but cry. I haven't heard from Hero for two days, I know he's in London and he told me he's been too busy. Too busy to talk for a few minutes on the phone? He doesn't believe it either. Who knows what he is doing there with his friends, and his famale friends. I trust him, yeah, but not the sluts who throw themselves on him and the effect that alcohol has on him. I hope he doesn't do anything stupid.
I look like a corpse, I have dark circles and puffy eyes and I haven't dressed all day.
It's half past eleven in the evening and everyone at home is already asleep, except my sister who is watching a Christmas movie alone. She asked me if I wanted to watch it with her, but I told her I didn't feel like it and she gave me a sympathetic smile.
Now I'm texting Hero: Can we talk or are you busy?
He doesn't answer right away. I throw myself on the bed, with the phone on my belly, and stare at the ceiling.

After ten minutes my cell phone vibrates. It's him: I'm free, kind of.

I call him immediately.
He sighs when he says, "Hey, what are you doing?"
"Nothing, absolutely nothing. What did you do today?"
"Mhm... I saw my friends."
"Wow," I say, absolutely not surprised.
We are silent for a few minutes and I can hear his breathing.
"Jo?" he finally says.
If I open my mouth I'll cry, so I shut up.
"You are there?"
I try to answer with a neutral voice, but it breaks me and I fail my intent. "Yes, I'm still here," and I burst into sobs.
"Hey hey, no. We're talking now, I know we haven't talked much in the last couple of days, but now we are. Talk to me, tell me everything," he says worriedly.
"I... I miss you Hero," I sob.
"Baby... I miss you too. I miss you all the time."
I sniff, and begin to calm down by taking deep breaths. "What do you miss about me?" I ask him all of a sudden.
"Everything, fuck. Everything."
I smile, I know he misses me, and I know he is sincere when he says so. "What do you miss most then?" I want to know it.
"Mhm... sleep on the couch with you, watch movies and take comfort when you get moved by literally nothing," we both chuckle, "your laugh, your hugs, your kisses, your skin, your body..."
Let's see what he replies now... "If you were here with me, what would you do to me?"
He chuckles. "Are you trying to have phone sex with me Josephine?"
"What?! No!"
He still chuckles.
"Did I already tell you you're a pervert?" I must have told him a million times.
"No, never," he says wryly.
He remains silent for a while and sighs. Then he says, "You know, it wouldn't hurt though."
"What?" I say confused. Oh. Don't tell me he means...
"Phone sex."
Shit, I knew that. "This is crazy, Hero."
"Mhm, maybe. But I know you would like to try. How long do you miss from one to ten fucking?" Oh my God, I'm sure he has a smirk on his face right now.
I do not answer.
"Okay, ten. I knew it, me too, anyway."
I snort. "Hero... no use doing this, we won't do anything over the phone."
"Why not? What's the problem?"
I bite my lip to try not to smile. He started using his voice the way he does, it drives me crazy when he talks like that.
"You don't miss my hands that explore every inch of your beautiful body, huh baby?"
He shakes my head, but he can't see me so I keep quiet.
"Don't you miss my moans when you fuck me as hard as you know how to do and feel me inside of you?"
Oh fuck, I'm starting to feel hot. And I'm breathing more heavily.
"Your nails scratching my skin, leaving their mark. My breath on your neck..."
Okay. Now I'm turned on, and my breathing is heavier than before.
"Are you turned on? Don't lie, because I understand it even while I'm on the other side of the world that you are. You have no escape with me," he says, still in that seductive voice of his.
"Mhm mhm, I could be," I reply sincerely, because, as he said, I have no escape with him.
"I knew it. Close your eyes. I'll tell you what to do."
I have never, and I repeat never, touched myself in my life. I have no idea where to put my hands.
"Hero... I don't know—" I begin.
But he interrupts me. "I'll tell you what to do and where to touch yourself, listen to what I tell you and just do it," he repeats.
"All right."
"You asked me what I would do if I were there with you, right?"
"Yes," I reply, I can't breathe.
"Well... I'll give you an answer. I would have laid you on our bed and kissed you, everywhere." He takes a sudden breath.
"What are you doing?" I ask him.
"Touch yourself, like I'm doing."
Oh God. I can't believe we're really doing this.
"Run your fingers from your neck..." he thinks about it for a moment, "to the hem of your panties."
I'm starting to do as he just told me. My slender, thin fingers draw solid lines all over my body making me shiver.
He continues, "Then I would have taken off every piece of cloth that you have on you, and I would have observed your body."
"I would have taken your shoulders and I would have approached you, I would have kissed you until I was out of breath." Oh my God, what did I just say?
"Yes, baby. At this point I would have told you I loved you," he moans softly.
My fingers caress my inner thigh, they are almost between my legs when I let out a moan of desperation.
"Right, good. Shit..." he moans again.
God, how much I miss him.