Pawns & Players - Sirius Black

-50-

It occurred to me that more than loss, it was the longing that hurt the most  - Samantha Young

For a such judgmental person, she really didn't care much about other people's lives and feelings, and would often take pride in that.

So as she walked out of detention, convinced that Shacklebolt as head boy was the worst thing that ever happened to the Gryffindor house and walking past the crying girl, she reminded herself that, over and over. It was Monday, she had somewhere to be.

Stepping her way out of the corridor coldly, she heard a louder sob than before, and breathing in desperation to the sourceless urge inside her to go back, her legs were already leading her next to the girl, sitting under the large wall, her head between her knees, lightly rocking herself.

Playing with her fingers nervously before hunching over to the young Gryffindor, she tapped on her shoulder gently.

"Are you okay ?" She let out, in the softest way she could.

And as her dark hair fell behind, the rich brown eyes looked into hers as a mirror. Aside from the flushed cheeks caused by her sobs, she looked just like her. A more innocent version of her, but exactly her.

"Yes" Quickly cleaning up her face, she answered with a cracking voice. 

She didn't know how to comfort others and usually, she would've been trying to find a way to get herself out of there. So she sat down next to her, crossing her legs so she could be at her level.

"What's your name ?" Her lips curled up softly, placing a comforting smile encouraging the small girl next to her to continue.

"Lucy" She had stopped sobbing by now but her eyes were heart-achingly sorrowful.

She had many names. The Elle she loved dearly, Laurie she would never admit to loving deeply, any variation of Owlbert making her laugh each time and Laur, she was so fond of, only by that one person's voice.

"Laurel" But each told their own stories, and ones were to be made. She locked eyes with the little one. "What's going on Lucy ?" Breaking the silence and facing her sympathetically. 

"They hexed my friend. He bled so much I thought he wouldn't make it to the hospital wing alive" The small girl breathed angrily, she could hear a tear was close. "I don't know why I'm crying I think I panicked" She laughed at herself, cleaning up her face between giggles.

"Who did it ?" Usually, people wanted to hear comforting words, but she felt as though she knew the girl. So well that she knew exactly what she wanted. 

"Those Slytherins" She pronounced with disgust. "Those two big guys" Mulciber and Avery  "And that skinny tall one" No, it couldn't be him. Loads of them were like that. "With that dark and kinda curly hair, evil-looking guy" 

It wasn't him. She would ask him in a few minutes and he would answer her truthfully, he would tell her it wasn't him, that he couldn't even walk away from a body.

"Does Dumbledore know ?" 

The young girl scoffed. "Of course he does. Apparently, the boy, who's scared of Care of Magical Creatures class, was spending the night at the Forbidden Forest and got attacked" Her breathing got uncontrollably heavy in anger, the first wave of sadness disappearing from her expression.

"Did you tell him you knew who it was ?" 

"Of course, he talked over me with those words that he thinks make him wise or some shit" Every word freed from her lips was spoken with undying spite.

"If you ever want to talk, I'm also a Gry-"

"I know who you are" She laughed softly. "The prefects told every younger year that you would catch us and make us regret it if we went out past curfew"

"Ah yes Lily and Remus, my ultimate saviours" She grinned at the girl, smiling next to her. Suddenly she got up, reaching her hand for her to lift herself next to her.

"Let's take you back to the Common Room before I make you regret it Lucy" Walking with her, she sniffled to clean her face up, cheering up a little bit, bringing a small glint of happiness in Laurel's chest that she couldn't name. Unselfish happiness, like a small bit of innocent and childish hope.

They paced slowly, unlike her usual pace, before the portrait appeared in front of them.

"Until we meet again" She bowed down sarcastically, smiling softly as the girl faced her. "Lucy"

"Until we meet again" 

-

Walking back through the corridors, she grinned at herself dumbly. It was stupid, she had friends, but the girl was weirdly different. Her usual fast pace had reappeared, leading her to the Bell Towers.

Climbing through the last stairs she looked at their usual place. Empty. Looking at the clock again, she reassured herself she was on time, so she sat there.

Regulus always was the one to come first, whether they were at their best or worst, no matter what they were going through or what they had, Monday nights were theirs.

So she waited another hour. 

It wasn't true, he would never do it.

The clocks hit 1 past midnight. The sky was so clear even she could study Astronomy if she tried to.

It was the boy who couldn't fake his cold look and desperately tried to be like Sirius and Laurel.

Hogwarts didn't sleep. She could still hear the kids, either from their dorm or secretly from the corridors. 

It was Regulus.

For the first time since his first year's first day, he didn't show up.

That night she didn't return to her dorm, instead, she sat there and found Regulus in the sky she so despised. 

And on the other side of the corridor on her way back, she saw him. 

His face was emotionless with his chin lifted up high and numb eyes, worlds hidden behind, he looked at her.

And out of the infinite unanswered questions, she only knew one answer.

She had lost him.