Pawns & Players - Sirius Black

-51-

Only someone who cares could fake not caring so well  - Shaun D. Hutchinson 

There once was a time she found sunrises to be the best part of living. They were proof nightmares were merely illusive and as she grew up, the silence and slight sounds revealing the presence of the birds and butterflies around her, laying on the fresh grass after collecting the two dorms' letters had become her routine, alongside her lost hide and seek game, seeking the two pair of eyes sitting on the other side of the hall, successfully hiding each time.

"Hey" 

Throwing her head back to see who it was, the tall figure shadowed her.

"Moony, to what do I owe the pleasure ?" She smiled enthusiastically, half-joking.

"Oh nothing. I was just passing by and thought you were lying dead here" Remus answered casually, sitting beside the girl, where she pointed for him to come next to her.

"Am I witnessing a once in a lifetime moment right now ? Remus Lupin is awake and wandering around Hogwarts before 10 AM ?" A fake surprise tainted her voice, "Here is your letter, and Johnny says hi" Handing him the package from his parents.

"We named him Cocoa"

"He doesn't like it and hates all three of you" 

"My owl not liking me is my final reason then"

"You know Moons, you make way too many of those jokes for any of us to think you're stable anymore"

"Some of us have actual goals thank you very much" He smiled spitefully, making her chuckle lowly.

"But there is an actual reason why I gave up my precious sleep hours" The boy added, turning his head around to face her while she was laid down peacefully, a book with a rather flashy cover next to her. "Wait what's that ?"

 And he had noticed it.

She picked up the book, looking at it wonderingly for a few seconds. "Mostly porn" Nodding her head approvingly, she flipped through the pages with her fingers. "There should also be a story here but as far as someone is tied to the headboard, that's not really my concern"

"It's 5 AM in the morning" He groaned lowly, looking slightly shocked while the girl was laughing vividly at his reaction.

"That's exactly why I'm reading the maple syrup part, see. Perfect for breakfast" Throwing the book on his lap, she watched as he fell into a complete silence with his eyes growing wider and wider each sentence he read. "Keep, it. I already have way too many to uphold my book snob reputation" 

"Is that even anatomically possible ?"

"I don't know" She shrugged, "Wanna test it-"

"Whatever" He blinked, tearing his eyes off the page and placing it on his side. "I was here to tell you something"

"Do you want my permission to continue or ?" 

"Alright, fuck trying to be nice to you. We were all thinking that you seem a bit out of it for the past few weeks and are kind of worried" Awaiting her answer, he tilted his head, looking at her.

"By a bit out of it, you mean-"

"I mean you always forget whenever we make plans, and even when you're physically here, for the most part, you're lost somewhere else. You seem tired and numbed from yourself but don't talk to any of us and we don't know what to do"

"Well, I appreciate the concern but please, don't forget to invite me to your next gossip party" She threw her head back, watching the sky and grinning falsely at him.

"It wasn't a party it was just Si-" He swallowed the last word instantly before carrying on with a slower voice. "What I mean is that you seem a bit, different. So if you need anything, you know you can always count on us" 

Not that she would ever admit it, but having people who cared about her felt, 

amazing.

But in a small corner of her mind, she still wondered who the plural was.

"It's just with the exams before Christmas, you know me, I was just stressing" Still focused on the newly rising sun, she laughed lightly.

"That's uh, good th- GOODWIN, BACK INSIDE THE CASTLE, NOW" And the small boy ran back where he pointed at, following his friend.

"Well look at you Mr. Prefect" She nodded in fake approval and surprise. "Do you really know all of them ?"

"I have to know the Gryffindors, so yeah"

"Do you know a Lucy ? Younger than us, dark hair-"

"Lucy Hayes ? I know her, besides she was on the list of considerations for next year's prefects so I have to keep an extra eye on her to report to McGonagall. I don't even know why Dumbledore gave me this job in the first place, Lily is getting suspicious from doing rounds with James each month" He answered lightly, not standing much on the subject.

"She's a fourth-year ?" Her voice sounded surprised, as if she was waiting for her to be much younger.

"Yeah why ?" 

"I talked to her a while ago I was just wondering. Come on Lupes this postwoman has things to do"

-

"Okay, I have the snacks, and the worst sappy movie I could find. Did you guys set the projector like Professor Burbage taught us ? I hope none of you broke that because if I carried that huge thing from our Muggle Studies class for nothing I will cook all of you on those muggle stooves one by one" She walked into the dorm enthusiastically, her sight blocked from the popcorn and chocolate she held.

The room was uncommonly silent and no one answered her. Each month since their project, the girls had their movie day and this dullness was weirdly unusual. Just then, Alice came up to her, taking the snacks away from her while pointing at the blonde silently. 

Mary's dark curly hair was hiding her face but getting closer to the bed they were all sitting on, she saw Marlene with a flushed face, crying on Lily's lap.

"Marls" She led her way between Alice and Mary to face her friend worriedly, asking both her and Lily what had happened.

"Dorcas" Marlene sobbed quietly, lifting her head up slightly, revealing her puffed eyes and lips. "She broke up with me" 

She had to say something. Insulting Dorcas was the first that came to her mind. It was the easiest as she didn't know the context, yet she couldn't do it. Considering everything she could say that could possibly make her feel better, Marlene chuckled softly, followed by another sniffle.

"Is the movie bad ?" 

"Trust me, the most horrible, trashy and shitty one I could find" The girl reassured her so fast in panic that even Marlene cracked a laugh between her small tears.

Dorcas didn't return to the dorm that night.

Or the next one.