Under A Rest | ☁️

Chapter 46

Kapag binabalikan ko ang mga nangyari noon ay umiiyak pa rin ako. Nadudurog pa rin ako. Paulit ulit, at walang katapusan. I did consult a psychiatrist few months after. It helped me a lot to gain myself again because losing them means losing myself too.

Pagkatapos nang nangyari ng gabing iyon ay binalak ko na lang na tapusin ang buhay ko. Pero hindi talaga iyon ang para sa akin, dahil habang naghahanap ng gunting mula sa drawer ko ay nakita ko ang envelope na bigay sa akin ni Ma'am Rina. And with that I realized that maybe dying isn't really for me because I am destined to prolong lives.

She helped me with everything and I got to study in one of the prestigious medical school. Of course, I struggled, I cried, and almost give up that's when I decided to get my mental health checked.

Sa lahat ng nangyari noon. Sa lahat ng pagod. Masasabi kong I'm proud of myself. Dahil sa wakas, sa wakas isa na akong neurosurgeon.

After I graduated, there were lots of offers be it local or international. I did chose to work here in Australia. Malayo sa nakaraan, malayo sa bangungot na matagal ko ng kinakalimutan.

"Congratulations Dr. Londres, another successful surgery" iyan ang naririnig ko mula sa mga kasamahan kong Doctor at Nurses habang naglalakad sa hallway.

I just finished a major surgery to one of the business tycoons here in Australia. It was indeed a big break for me but that doesn't gave me the satisfaction I'm longing for.

Nagpasalamat lang ako sa kanilang lahat at nginitian sila bago dumiretso sa cafeteria. Hindi pa ako kumakain simula kanina dahil focus ako sa mga kailangan para sa surgery.

"Doc! Here, come join us!" I was called by one of my co-doctors. "I heard about your surgery, what a job well done"

"Thank you Laureen" we continued eating together, maya maya ay dumating si Alesha habang nagtatali ng buhok.

"Why don't we celebrate later? You know I'm free tonight" si Alesha ang doctor na party girl. Mahilig siyang mag aga sa club sa tuwing may successful surgery, which I think is good dahil kahit paano ay makakapag unwind kami.

"Uh. I'm gonna check my schedule first", Laureen checked her schedule on her phone. "That's cool! I don't have appointments from 8 on onwards, but I have 9am in the morning. Well, I can wake up early." She giggled after saying it. If I know ipapasa nanaman niya sa akin ang trabaho niya.

Sabay silang napatingin sa akin para hingin ang sagot ko.

"Alright. I got a lot of vacancy anyway" I shrugged my shoulder while they both pouted.

"Does that mean you can-"

"Oh! Shut it" I cutted Laureen off dahil alam ko na ang pinaplano niya. Maglalasing siya at ako ang sasalo ng schedules niya.

Madalas iyon mangyari kapag lumalabas kaming tatlo. Well, sila lang naman ang pinaka malapit sa akin dito maliban sa ibang nurses na madalas kong kasama. Hindi ko kasi makuha ang ugali ng ibang banyaga dito. Laureen and Alesha are both pure Australian, they would always asked me to bring them in the Philippines but I would always refused. Dahil... dahil masyadong hectic ang schedule namin. Tama iyon nga.

Umuwi muna ako pagkatapos dahil wala naman akong gagawin sa Hospital. The Director gave me lots of free time after the success of the surgery. Sanay na ako dahil madalas mangyari ito.

Napagpasyahan ko na linisin na lamang ang condo ko dahil hindi naman palagi ay may oras ako. Pagkatapos maglinis ay nag grocery muna ako sa malapit na store dahil paubos na ang stock ko sa office at sa bahay. Kailangan kong mag stock ng pagkain sa office ko dahil may times na hindi ako nakakauwi dahil sa full pack ang schedule ko. Bukod kasi sa pagiging neurosurgeon, I am also an emergency doctor. I am flexible dahil sa nakalipas na anim na taon ay ginawa ko lahat para mag-aral at magtrabaho para makaipon ako. Babawiin ko ang mga kapatid ko.

I took a nap right after pero hindi na pala Idlip iyon dahil inabot ng ilang oras ang tulog ko. I saw some text messages from Laureen and Alesha na malapit ng matapos ang duty nila so I already got myself prepare.

Habang sinusuklay ang kulay ash grey Kong buhok na hanggang itaas Ng dibdib na lamang ang haba ay parang bumalik nanaman ako sa nakaraan. Emptiness filled my heart again and the sudden feeling made me tear up a little.

"It's ok Meisha. You're doing great. I'm so proud of you" I told myself. Everytime I felt the sudden emotion of sadness. I would always tell that to myself because no one would. Wala na.

May narinig akong busina mula sa labas, I know it's Laureen's car. Kapag gumagala kami ay iisang kotse ang gamit namin.

"Wow! Hot chick'ass" sumipol pa talaga si Alesha na nasa shotgun seat nang makita ako. I was just wearing a silver tiny strap dress and a 5inches heels.

"Same to you ladies"

Pumunta kami sa isang bar na pamilyar sa akin. Dito kami madalas pumunta kapag nag aakit silang dalawa na uminom. Hindi ako mahilig uminom at ilang shot lang ako palagi, kaya ang ending ako ang nagdadrive pauwi.

They both grow up here so they're kind of liberated but it doesn't matter to me because they never pushed me to do something I don't like. Mapilit lang talaga sila dahil concern daw sila sa love life ko. Come on! They're both eager to find me a boyfriend.

"Come on Meisha! Loosen up a bit. Go and find yourself a man!" Laureen shouted on me because of the loud sounds.

"Nah! I don't need it Laureen. I'm contented being single"

"That made me more curious about that ex of yours." Alesha said while drinking her vodka.

I took a sip of mine and stared on the dance floor. Hindi nila kilala si Uno, ang alam lang nila ay may ex boyfriend ako sa Pilipinas. Alam rin nila kung gaano kami katagal at kung ano ang profession niya. It's safe to tell them because there is zero percent of chance na magkikita sila.

"Who's that boy with Alesha?" I asked Laureen when I saw Alesha with a man.

"I don't know. Maybe a random guy." Mapungay na ang mga mata niya dahil marami na ang nainom niya. Habang ako ay hindi pa nauubos ang isang bote ng beer. I'm not really into alcohols.

"Hey! You're drunk already" pinigilan ko siya ng akmang tatayo siya para mag order ulit.

"No I'm not!" she giggled and left right after.

Napasapo naman ako sa noo ko dahil sigurado na ako sa mangyayari bukas. Hindi ko na makita si Alesha so I had to text her that we have to go home. She replied back asking for few more minutes.

Hindi rin naman nagtagal ay bumalik na siya. Inaayos niya ang buhok niya pati ang kumalat na lipstick. Napangiwi naman ako dahil sa pandidiri sa kaniya.

"What?! Don't tell me you never had sex?" namula ang pisngi ko sa sinabi niya. I have, but it didn't end up well.

I shrugged that thought because I know the moment I think about it more I would breakdown. That's what usually happen whenever I'm thinking about my unborn child. Namumuo lang ang galit ko para sa mga taong naging parte ng nangyari noon.

And I don't want that to happen. What I want is complete healing not revenge, and I can't achieve it if I will be clouded by anger.

But, what can I do? I am. I really am mad on them. I wanna come back and make them pay back.

~💙