Under A Rest | ☁️

Chapter 56

It has been two days since I was asked to do the surgery with Tito Zero, he was diagnosed having brain tumor. Sa totoo lang hindi dapat ako nahihirapan na magdesisyon ngayon bilang isang doktor, pero may parte sa akin na pumipigil gawin iyon dahil baka, baka kapag tinanggap ko iyon ay sadyain kong magkamali. There's something in me that is satisfied knowing that that old man is suffering right now. I want them to feel how I felt that time.

I sighed because of the thought running onto my mind. Meisha, for Pete's sake, you're a Doctor.

Para malibang ay nagrounds na lamang ako sa mga in patient ko. Kanina pa tumatawag si Uno, at hindi ko iyon sinasagot. Natatakot ako... natatakot ako na baka kapag narinig ko siyang magmakaawa ay kaagad akong pumayag, kahit na alam kong hindi pa ako handa.

Yes, I had a lot of surgery and I already mastered it. But then, I knew to myself that in this case I am not mentally prepared. As of now, I am on the side where I don't want to do it. Not because I don't wanna save Tito Zero, but I want to save myself. Kung saan? Hindi ko rin alam.

"Nurse, Nakita mo ba si Dr. Arañez?", tanong ko sa isang nurse sa cardiology department. He's in here and I had to submit a report on him about the event last time.

"Hindi pa po siya bumabalik Doc"

"I see" tumango ako sa kaniya at nagpasalamat. Pabalik na ako sa office ko pero bago pa ako makarating doon ay nakita ko ang pamilyar na pigura ng mga tao doon...mga tao na hindi ko pa kayang harapin. I know I would bleed again, I know I would be crashed again, so I was about to turn my back when someone called me.

"Meisha" her voice was not as intimidating as it is, it's now weak and fragile. As if any moment she would break down, but no I have to hold back my sympathy.

I let out a sigh and face them. I fix my gaze on her and then turned to the man whom I despise the most. Hindi ako nagpakita ng kahit anong emosyon kahit na sa loob ko ay unti unting bumabalik lahat. Parang sasabog ang puso ko habang papalapit sa kanila.

"Dr. Londres, We heard that you just finished a surgery with the same level of difficulties as my son's case, we're here to formally ask you to do it." kahit sa paglipas ng mahabang panahon ganoon pa rin siya, sarili lamang ang iniisip. Kung makapagsalita siya ay parang ang dali lamang kalimutan ang nangyari noon.

"Please Meisha, your Tito Zero needs it for him to survive" she was about to grab my hands but I immediately shove it away.

"I'm sorry but I will not do it" I said full of conviction.

"Don't say that dear, I know you will. You're a Doctor." Uno's grandfather said using the 'you're a doctor card', As if I can be tamed with that. Hell! I can even use my privilege and connection to ask the Hospital to shove them away. But would never do that.

"Yes I am"

"Please Meisha, Do it! Do it for Uno!" suminghal ako sa sinabi niya. Hanggang ngayon ay si Uno pa rin ang panakot niya sa akin dahil alam niyang mahalaga ito sa akin. Alam na alam niya kung paano ako paiikutin.

"Para kay Uno?...katulad ho ba noong nakiusap ka sa akin na iwanan ko siya dahil iyon ang sa tingin niyong makakabuti sa kaniya?"  I saw how regret crosses her eyes.

"Itinuring ko ho kayong pangalawang Ina, akala ko ho kasi ganon din kayo sa akin. Hindi ko naman ho ginusto lahat ng nangyari, pero bakit nasa akin yung sisi?" I don't know why I'm saying all of these, maybe I'm just too weak and unprepared. Hindi ko ito pinaghandaan dahil hindi ko ito inaasahan.

"I lost everything that night Atty. Mendez, I lost my everything" my heart, it's as if being beaten by them. Hindi man nila ito magawang hawakan, pero nagagawa nila itong saktan.