Love You From A Distance [h.s]

Part 52

Stella Edison

Monsters are made, not born.

Villains are often misjudged and most of the time, no one gets to know their stories. They were broken and frail once upon a time, and that's exactly why I've understood that villains are the strongest. Any soul that has been tortured or abused has every right to turn into a monster when they hardly got any time to mourn. Instead, they were handed responsibilities and when they fumbled, everyone was there to taunt.

Yesterday wasn't the best of all. After we came back home from Niall's and slept, something tortured Harry's mind. He had an awful nightmare which had him shivering from head to toe for one whole hour.

I felt the uneasiness he was going through as he was shuffling continuously and pinching his eyes shut in sleep. I tried to wake him up the moment I saw him struggling, but that made it even worse. He started pushing me away from him and didn't even let me touch or comfort him.

I never felt so broken in my entire life ever before, but seeing tears slip from Harry's eyes had me sobbing so hard. It was literally eating me up that I couldn't do anything to help him get through it. I've never seen Harry get scared of anything since I've met him and yesterday changed that.

He finally woke up by me jerking him harshly. He snapped his eyes open and froze when he saw me in a state where I myself was a crying mess. The moment his eyes landed on mine, he behaved as if I was the one struggling through the mental pain and not him.

When I asked what was the nightmare exactly about, he explained that he saw his father kill his mom while he was standing there in front of them, but couldn't move. He felt like he was a stone, his limbs didn't work at all. His voice couldn't come out of his mouth, no matter how loud he tried to shout. He could only stand and witness his mom being choked to death while he heard his mother's calls for help, mixed with various whimpers and gasps.

What struck me the most was that he was ashamed of his tears because he immediately wiped them from his face when he came into his senses. He didn't want me to see that he's crying or that he's weak and vulnerable.

I explained to him how non of this would ever change the way I look at him. He will always be the same Harry for me, the one I fell in love with. The one who makes me the happiest. The one who's the bravest of all the people I've ever met.

I can't even imagine the pain he had to tolerate because the information was still new to him, which means the wound was still raw.

I shushed him down when he was hyperventilating and sat against the headboard of the bed. He laid his head in my lap while I softly ran my hand through his hair and forehead. That brought him some kind of relief and his shivering eventually stopped.

He drank some water and went back to sleep whereas I waited for a few more minutes before I shifted myself a little and placed Harry's head on my pillow. I covered him under the blanket where he curled up with his knees slightly bent and hands folded like he was still feeling vulnerable.

I tried to stay impossibly close to him all the time as that was all I could do. I wish I could just enter inside his head and empty it from any such future torture or uneasiness. Because this was my worst experience with Harry where I felt helpless. I just waited for him to drift off to sleep, this time a one that's serene and tranquil.

Although, when he woke up today morning, he looked calm and happy. He had this amusing smile on his face from the moment he left the bed. He was playful, and looked kinda excited for today's schedule. He didn't bring up the night terror thing and neither did I because I didn't want to make him uncomfortable.