Love You From A Distance [h.s]

Part 57

Harry Styles

I get up by another nightmare, which has my head and heart pounding so loud that I could hear the voice in my ears. My lungs were gasping for breath as I get up and sit, knees raised and elbows resting on them.

I feel sweat coated over my body from head to toe, and my heartbeat running so high. I tug the roots of my wet hair harshly, wanting to rip them out because the nightmare felt so real.

Shit.

These nightmares have become frequent now, I get them everyday.

Today's the fifth day of me waking up without Stella by my side. Another day without her hands stroking my hair. Another day without her snuggling with me in bed. Another day without me hearing her angelic voice. Another day without me seeing into her hazel eyes.

Another day without her.

Today she has her final checkup, and then she can be taken back home. Today's the last day I have for finding Allie and if I don't, I'll fail again. I wouldn't be able to face her once she's back home. But what I want is that I finish my business today, and then go pick up Stella and bring her back myself.

This place doesn't feel like home without her here.

I get out of bed while my head continues to pound because of the hangover, which I usually never got before, but these days have been different. I've stayed alive on alcohol and drugs, skipping meals by not eating at all, and that's probably why I feel my head's gonna burst.

I walk inside the bathroom and stand in front of the mirror to look at my own broken reflection. Down on the counter were carelessly thrown all of my rings with Stella's necklace. It reminded me of the day we had our first date and how she jumped in excitement when I gave her that.

And then on the contrary, when the nurse removed it and gave it to me the day she was taken to the hospital.

I throw my head back, thinking about the nightmare I just had and how I had a similar one the night I got to know about my mother's murder. The only difference between these two were that this time, it was Stella in place of my mum.

I could see some people hurting Stella, whereas I couldn't move from my place. I was frozen, couldn't say a word out loud. No one could hear me, no one could see me. I felt like a stone, unable to move my limbs at all. It was all happening in front of me, yet I couldn't do anything.

It hurt as much as it did the last time.

And this time, she wasn't here to comfort me afterwards like the last time.

I look at my red puffy eyes in the mirror, which only justifies how scared and traumatised I am. I pick my toothbrush from the stand, which has Stella's green one as well, to then brush my teeth.