월광 (Moonlight) [Baekyeon Fanfic] Discontinued

Chapter 39 ♡ : Dear Baekhyun

Dear Baekhyun,

It starts off.

I know that you may still hate me right now, but what you saw that day was all a misunderstanding... I don't know how many sorry's it will take for you forgive me, but.. I just want to tell you that I would never do anthing to hurt you. I didnt know it would turn out this way but... I'm sorry that I didn't tell you earlier, I'm sorry that I couldn't be the good girlfriend you wanted me to be. I hate myself for doing what I did... I should of told you straight away, but I didn't... I guess that's just me right? Haha...

I dont want this to be the end, but you seem to hate me so much... there is not one day where I dont think about you, miss you and worry about you. I still love you so much...
But if letting you go makes you happy, then I'll do that. I want to see your smile again, whether if it's just a small one, I'll be content.

Maybe we will go back to not knowing eachother anymore, act like strangers to each other... maybe that's the best way. But I really dont want this to end... I really don't. I know I was wrong, but Jungmin... he..

But it doesnt matter now does it? Because no matter how many times I tell you, you won't believe me.. but I can't blame you...

I love you so, so much Baekhyun... If I could have the chance to turn back time, I would tell you everthing, spend every second and minute with you, tell you how much I love you, cook you meals everyday and make you smile..

But now I can't do that anymore. I can't say or do anything for you. I can't even say a simple 'I love you' anymore, or see you smile at me ever again...

All I wanted was for you to be happy, but instead I hurt you..

I never regretted meeting you, not one bit. Thankyou for all the wonderful memories you've given me... I'll cherish them forever, I'll never forget them... but I'm just so sorry Baekhyun, I can't bring myself to realise that this is the end. I loved and still love you so much you know? I just can't...

--

The writing stops there, tears spill uncontrollably as I read the letter, blurring my vision. Droplets of tears fall onto the paper, leaving wet marks.
Yonghi you fool... I'm the one who's sorry... I cry,

Why did you keep everything to yourself... now I it's me who cant say or do anything for you...

Why couldn't I save you? It shouldve been me who got thrown off, not you.

I feel so angry at myself, I'm such a useless piece of crap! I couldnt even protect her.

I fall onto my knees and slam my fists down on my thighs, hitting myself, blaming myself, crying out loudly as tears continue to stream down my face.

I clench my fists on my skin, trying to push away the pain that's pounding in my heart. But it only works for a split second before it comes back again, cutting me deeply.

I hug the letter close to my chest, why wont the pain go away? Why cant I escape it?

I sit there for a few minutes, thinking...
So this is what it feels like, this is what it feels like to lose someone you cared for and loved so deeply.

If only I hadn't met her that day. If only I left the shop a little earlier. If only I remembered to take my wallet with me, none of this wouldn't of happened. We could've just been classmates... but why?

Pain is all I feel right now. I pinch myself hard, hoping that this is just a bad dream. I squeeze my eyes tight, making a stream of tears flow down. This isnt real.. yonghi is still here with me right now.. she isn't...

I open my eyes,

Dead...

But this is real, this is the reality. I've lost her, I can't get her back. I won't be able to hold her in my arms anymore, or hear her sweet voice. Why was I stupid, how could I have not believed in her? Why?!

This is all my fault. The reason why she's not right here by my side. This was all done by me.

I cradle my face in my hands and let the tears go, "ARRRGHHAAA!" I shout at the top of my lungs,"WHY?! WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN?" I yell, pounding my fist onto the floor and sucking in deep breaths

"WHY... Why..." I sob,"Why did you take Yonghi and not me... It shouldve been me..."

---

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How was it? :) Short, I know, but it's just a letter so I didn't want to make it long haha ^ ^
Baek :(( baby don't cry :'(

Anyway ASDFGHJKL EXO'S COMEBACK OMGGGGG ♡♡

Can't wait xD

Author nim ♡