The Spanish Bad Ass

Chapter Seventy four: You're a fucking idiot

So what if I trip?
So what if I fall?
Then am I a monster?
Just let me know.
What if I sin?
And what if I break?
Then am I a monster?
Just let me know. 〰️ Shawn Mendes.

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Ian's POV

I sat alone in the darkness.

Alone, all I'll ever be now. I had lost the girl I was in love with, just because I couldn't help myself from being an idiot and making stupid choices that I would later regret. This was the height of it though, this was the biggest mistake I had ever and would ever make in my life and it was going to cost me my happiness. The girl of my dreams wanted nothing to do with me, she hated the fact that I existed and wanted nothing more than to end my life, I couldn't say I blamed her. I hated me too.

"I knew you would be here," I heard suddenly and frowned as light entered the tiny room I had been hiding in. My brother held out a cigarette for me in one hand and a lighter in the other. I stared at it for a while in contemplation, I had given up smoking a long time ago, was I really willing to go back? I shook my head.

Fuck it.

"Thanks, man," he nodded his head and smiled as he lit his and mine together, he took in a deep breath before blowing it all out.

We just sat there in silence, smoking and subconsciously killing ourselves, it didn't matter though, it wasn't like I fancied the whole idea of being alive now that I had lost the love of my life. If I was being honest this silence was what I really needed right now but even I knew that it wouldn't last for very long.

"Are you okay?" He asked and I turned to him, he didn't have an arrogant look on his face, just a very solemn face that told me he was here for me.

"Obviously not." I snapped and he pursed his lips nodding in understanding, I knew he wanted to ask me what was wrong but as soon as he opened his mouth to talk the door creaked open and light filled the tiny room again, he stooped himself and turned to the floor instead folding his lips in his mouth.

"Of course, Dax would give him a cigarette," Arlo said without surprise as he rolled his eye, casting a playful glare to his younger brother.

"What are you guys doing here?" I strained a little forcefully as I stared my older twin brothers in the eye. They sighed and sat by either side of Dax and me.

"We haven't seen you in almost two days," Arlo muttered with concern in his voice.

"Yeah, and you weren't in your room either so we figured you'd be here." Axel completed and he smiled sneakily. "Beer?" He asked as he handed me a bottle, I stared at it and frowned hesitantly.

"I'm not about to-"

"Shut up and take the damn thing." I took a deep breath swallowed and collected the bottle from his outstretched hand. I shook my head sighing as I paused to stare at the bottle, I looked at my brothers and shrugged in nonchalance, it wasn't like I cared anyway. I closed my eye as I took in a long gulp.

"I appreciate," I muttered suddenly opening my eyes to look at them, they nodded.

"Of course you do."

"You three are bad influences on me," I muttered as I stared at the crate that Arlo had been carrying and had just dropped in front of us.

"Three of the best we may assume," Dax mused trying to lighten the mood but it wasn't working. There was silence before Arlo spoke again.