The Wish | Sirius Black x Reader

Page 62

I can't do this

You have to

It will make him sad

Better be sad now than later

Okay

I debated my decision with the voice in my head. I just have to do it. It is not fair if I go around giving Sirius mixed signals. I have to clear it up before this gets anymore complicated (if it can). I took a deep breath and summoned some courage to knock on Sirius' door. 1...2...3... I knocked. It took him a minute to open it.

"Can I come in?"

" Of course. Yes. " He stepped away, letting me in.

I sat on my usual spot on his bed and he sat beside me. We both remained silent for a very long minute before I decided that I can't take it anymore.

" Sirius, I have to say something to you. I think we shouldn't go to the rooftop anymore"

" It's okay y/n. James is a very caring person. Downside of his personality is, sometimes he gets overprotective. I will talk some sense to him. Besides you enjoy going there. If he knew how much you like it, he definitely wouldn't curb you from going there." Sirius said.

"It's not about that. I - Sirius they all think we are a thing. I don't want that."

Sirius' POV

Her voice trembled when she the last sentence. She is looking down the entire time, I can't see her face to guess what she feels exactly. From her voice, she sounds awkward and distant.

" We can explain-" she cut me off.

" They won't listen, Sirius. I don't want to give them a wrong idea."

" Does that mean we can't hang out anymore?" I asked.

" Not as much as now. I think we don't go to the roof, no cuddles, no midnight snacking at the kitchen" she never lifted up her head.

"Okay. How about as Padfoot?"

She loves reading. Apart from the times she reads with Remus, I used to stay on he lap as Padfoot. I can assure that we both loves those times.

" Yes, not even as Padfoot" her voice was barely audible. " Oh, and Sirius, we don't have to ignore each other though. We can talk normally, just-"

"I understand y/n. It's okay." I do not know how I should respond to that.

" Thank You Sirius. Goodnight" she stood up and left.

I felt heavy. She did  not even hug me. This is the first time she goes to bed without even giving me a good night hug. Is this what heartbreak feels like? Is this how much pain it gives. I can not take this. I opened the door and rushed downstairs. I looked through the kitchen for some drink. I needed it.

Vodka. I took one, two, three, four..... Damn I lost count. But I could say that I am not drunk enough to ease this sadness.  How did the bottle is empty already? I just opened it. I looked for more alcohol and filled up my glass.

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Remus' POV

Yesterday night was... Ummm. Eventful. Last this that happened was Lily yelling at James about how mean he was to Sirius and Y/n. I assume he apologized. I shall talk to y/n after she had woken up. I decided to give her some time to cool off. Angry y/n looked scary. No joke.

As I walk down the stairs, I saw black haired silhouette of a man holding a glass. No way Sirius woke up this early. I reached to him.

" Morning Padfoot."

" Morning Moony, pft it rhymes" he giggled.

Something is definitely wrong. His words are not clear and his eyes are swollen. Did he not sleep last night? His hair, which was always styled flawlessly looked unkempt.

" What are you drinking, Sirius?" I eyed the glass he was holding.

" Just tea" he answered.

" Tea? It doesn't look like one. What sort of tea?" I raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

" TEAquila" he said talking a large sip from the glass.

"What the fuck, Sirius? It's not even 7 in the morning!" I tried to take the glass away from him.

"Leave me and my tea alone!" Sirius tried to snatch the glass back.

" It's not tea. We have got work today! SIRIUS!"