The Wish | Sirius Black x Reader

Page 103

Sirius blinks blankly at my words. He couldn't understand how I was saying those things. He didn't know if I truly understood what they meant.

"Are we going to win if we used Dark Arts?" Sirius asked in a firm tone.

" Yes! Yes, obviously! They are much much powerful and effective. We can take out many death eaters at once " I threw my hands in the air in disbelief. How can he not understand what I am saying? I argued.

"Look at this potion, one drop is enough to kill 20 people. and this one, this one is a true masterpiece! It is called Drink of Despair. The Emerald Potion. Anyone who dares to drink it will be left dehydrated and unable to fight. They wouldn't die though. May be the Order can get some informations about their schemes. These are going to be very helpful in a battle" I flipped through my books, showing him the potions I was talking about.

" That is evil"

" No, it isn't. Didn't you hear me? It doesn't kill anyone. Just weakens the one's that consume it. It puts us at advantage. We will win the war, Sirius"

" Are we TRULY going to win, YN? "

" I- what? " I couldn't comprehend the way he spoke. It felt as if he knew something I didn't. And I was curious what was it.

" This war, YN, isn't Voldemort against Order or Death Eaters against Us. This is a war between Good Magic and Dark Arts " Sirius paused, as my face displayed no expression. I concentrated on the information he was giving me.

"It isn't solely based on killing Voldemort. It's not about the Destination, YN. It is the Journey. What matters is HOW we kill him. " He explained." If we use Dark Arts to kill him, what does it show to people? "

" Our actions only suggests that Dark Arts are much more powerful. That's isn't what we truly want. Because, although we kill Voldemort and all the Death Eaters, I would consider that we lost. It is about HOW we do it." He added. " What is the difference between US and The Death Eaters if we both killed, maimed and tortured people?"

I just sat there, processing his words. As much as my idea sounded perfect way to win the war, what Sirius said just now made more sense. I despised how, although I have read the book series many times since I was twelve years old, I have never truly understood what the Wizarding War was about. All I saw was Harry Potter vs Lord Voldemort. But, when we take a closer look there is more hidden behind.

I was too wrapped up inside my own mind that I did not realize Sirius had moved closer to me. I jumped as reflex when he touched my hand.

"I am sorry, Sirius. I am so sorry. I didn't look deep into these! I was too focused on destroying the Horcruxes and killing Death Eaters, that I missed to look at the bigger picture. I can't believe that I too would think about the Greater Good. I am disgusted. I am so ashamed of myself!" words spilled from my mouth.

Sirius pulled me into his chest, slamming my face against his pectorals to shut me up. His slender fingers combed through my hair as he hummed against the top of my head, doing his best to calm me down. But, surprisingly it was working.

"Sirius.... I am sorry"

"Shhhh! It's okay, my baby. It's okay. You didn't do anything wrong. It's okay" he whispered as I shivered against his chest.

" No! I am wrong. I don't know why I even thought of using such cruel magic and potions on others. I swear Sirius they seemed like a good plan. I believed that we can take their lot down if we used stronger fighting methods. I thought if we played offense instead of defense we can win. But, I didn't realize how brutal my ideas were. I am sorry." I was gushing all out as the fear that Sirius hates me now engulfed me.

" Your intentions were good, YN. It is all that matters. Good intentions. That was why you understood when we discussed about Dark Arts. And right now, you had realized how harmful they are."

" You won't hate me?" I pleaded.

" No!" He was extremely quick to respond, I hadn't even finished my sentence. " I would never hate you, YN. Absolutely not. I lov- If any day I were to hate you, it would be the day I die. You are my YN, my Koala"

His finger ran under my chin, lifting up my face to look at him. He leaned in and paused for a second, asking for consent. His lips crashed onto mine right after I nodded. He pressed a soothing kiss on my lips. A few seconds of the kiss was enough for me to understand that he doesn't hate me, even after I strayed towards Dark Arts. Sirius held my face in his hands, and looked into my eyes.

"I am so proud of you for trying, YN. I am so happy that you went all the way to help us win this war. Such a clever girl, you are." He leaned in again and pressed a affectionate kiss on my forehead.

"I am sorry for pushing you. I was so afraid YN. I didn't realize I was being aggressive. Forgive me?"

I hummed and leaned against his shoulder, falling into deep slumber. 

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"No, we are not throwing them away" Sirius said calmly gathering up the shattered books.

" But Sirius-"

" Koala I can clearly see how much work you had put into these. Three notebooks? That's a lot. A lot more that all of my notes while at Hogwarts combined. We are not going to use them. But we won't throw them away either. It's your hard work. I can't bring myself to waste it." He smiled.

" Okay" my limbs moved on their own to hug him from behind. I rested my cheek on his back. The thing I like the most about him is the way he values and respects me. It's the most attractive thing about this man. Yes, it's even above his appearance.

"I will put them at the attic. Get ready. It's Christmas Eve. We have got to finish up the decorations" he winked as he locked the door, leaving me alone in the sunlight lit bedroom.

I lazily walked to the bathroom for a quick shower. I slit out of my clothes and turned the shower on. I set it to be as warm as I preferred. I felt my muscles relax as the water hit me. I forced myself to turn off the shower, to exit the warm shower that comforted my body during the freezing cold winter.

I quickly wrapped my towel around me, practically rushing out of the bathroom to get to my closet. All I wanted right now was to slip into some warm cozy clothes that would guard me off this chilly weather. However, I froze as I stepped out of the bathroom.