The Wish | Sirius Black x Reader

Page 102

YN'S POV

"What the fuck are these, YN?" Sirius gritted him teeth.

"Sirius , I-"

"Don't you dare give me that look! Tell me what in the fucking world is going on here?" Hid voice was harsh. Last time I heard him talk this way, with such rage was when he found out Peter betrayed them.

I did not know what to tell him. I did not know how I could explain this. I knew one thing. If I tell him the truth he would not stand by my side. None of them would believe me. A muggle, no magic, no proper knowledge of magic, no any power. It would seem like a pointless accusation against Dumbledore, Their mentor. Someone they all look up to, they all trust with their lives. They all do. It will be me against them.

"Are you going to say anything?" Sirius growled. His tone, his posture, his facial reaction, everything sent chills down my spine. As painful as it is to admit, I am scared of him.

"It's nothing. Never mind them. Just- just a new hobby" I mentally slapped myself. What kind of excuse is that? A new hobby? You are an idiot, YN.

"Do you really think, I am that much of a fool?" he threw the book he was holding to the wall. It hit the wall with a loud noise and fell onto the ground. I flinched at that. Sirius was now no more seated on my bed. He was standing a few steps from me.

"Tell me what are these? You know what are these? The Dark Arts. You have a complete instruction on making a Horcrux. Potions that are worse that the Cruciatus Curse. What is going on, YN? "

His face was blurry, from my tear filled vision. I am torn apart between wanting to be honest to him and my fear that he wouldn't stand by my side. I decided to not tell him.

"First of all, Sirius, those are my personal notes. It doesn't matter that you are my boyfriend, you should not have gone through my stuff without my permission" I said, as I wiped off my tears and walked to my bed, gathering up all my books, desperate to hide them away from him. As if it would help this situation. He already saw all of them.

I yelped when Sirius yanked my arm violently. I crashed against my cupboard. He never done something like that to me. Sirius has never been violent or aggressive like that towards me. He always handled me as if I was his most precious thing in the entire world. Hence, my shock about how he practically threw me was much, much higher than the sharp pain that crept over my back.

"Tell me! Tell me! YN!" He looked down at me. Somehow the anger that radiated through him just a few seconds ago had now vanished.

"Please tell me that, you aren't going to choose Dark Arts. Please, YN. Please tell me that you are not choosing the path that almost destroyed my life. Please... please... please" Sirius voice trembled. The man fell onto the ground on his knees.

He was completely broken. I could feel that he was scared. I couldn't watch him like that. I launched myself at him, throwing my hands over his shoulders.

"Sirius..."

"No!" He pushed me away.

"Are you... Are you going to venture down the dark, cruel void of Dark Arts? The same way my parents, brother and cousins did? Are you going to leave me too?"

"No, Sirius. I will explain. I will explain everything. " I tried to move towards him, but he flinched away from my touch. I think death wouldn't hurt as much as Sirius not wanting my touch. 

"I- I don't trust Dumbledore"  I waited for his response, but I was faced with nothing but his narrow eyes.

"He said that we will have to wait for the right time. But there are literally a Horcrux at Hogwarts. Yet, he isn't thinking about that!" I was desperate to explain myself to him. " I think, since I have told him about the prophecy already, he might- he might want to let things happen the way they did. No any risk. "

" What do you mean by that?"

" Voldemort killing James and Lily, and you going to Azkaban. " My mouth dried up as I remembered it. I could feel the fear that always been at the back of my mind resurfacing. 

I took a deep breath. If they are not going to stand by my side, I will do it myself. Without magic powers that might be difficult, but not impossible. I will do it all myself. As much as the thought of them leaving me hurt, I will continue what I started. This opportunity I got is not only for me to meet the marauders and date Sirius. I shall use my chance to the fullest and destroy the Horcruxes myself, so a child doesn't have to live their live in constant risk of death.

"I collected all these informations so that we can actually destroy the Horcruxes, with or without Dumbledore's help. When the baby is born, this world will not be a mess. The war would have ended! No cruel wizard trying to kill a baby. I will do anything to give the baby a peaceful, happy life they deserve!" I said.

" YN. Okay! You collected informations about Horcruxes to destroy them." His voice sounded cold " That does not explain why you wrote all the Dark Spells  and Potions?"

"While I was trying to find out about Horcruxes, I came across them. They seemed useful. I wrote them down for later use"

"So, you were planning to use these spells and potions?" His voice was still firm and distant.

" I can't do those spells, I don't have magic."

"  Potions?"

" Well, as for the potions, I can make them. Lily thought me how to brew potions. Although many of those ingredients seem to be very rarely found, I am confident that I can make them"

" You are going to use them on people?" A glint of horror flashed through his eyes.

" Only Death Eaters"

" They are people too!" Sirius argued.

" BAD people. They get what they deserve" I shrugged.

" Do you even realize what you are saying? You want us to use such horrible things against them?"

" Yes! They are bad people! There is nothing wrong in hurting them" I stood up, irritated that Sirius isn't getting my point.

" No, YN. At whatever situation, Dark Arts are dangerous. It isn't right to use them. "

" It's a WAR, Sirius, Everything is fair!" I bellowed. "Why are you choosing the hardest way to fight this war?"