My Cobra Guy

Episode Six

Back at camp, Daniel was in a tall tree, securing a plastic bag with a beer can inside to a branch. He was tempted to empty it, see Johnny's face after he climbed all the way up there and bam! No beer!

The other campers were placing beer cans in other difficult to reach places - mostly treetops. Danny hoped Johnny wouldn't find half of them.

Regina was the only one not helping. She sat in front of the fire, smirking. Could she even climb a tree? All the other kids here could; no one else was having any issue. He was going to say something until he remembered that she had had a serious accident. Maybe she really would have a hard time climbing a tree.

"Aren't you going to help?" Demetri said, as if reading Daniel's mind.

"I came up with the brilliant idea; someone else can implement it," Regina said simply.

There had been a lot of beer in Johnny's cooler after they had circled back to snatch it once Johnny was out of sight- two cases full. Did Johnny plan on drinking a case a day?

Daniel knew the answer to that question and he didn't like it.

* * * * *

Johnny heaved a sigh of relief when he saw a completely relaxed Regina surrounded by Daniel and his search party. Daniel stirred the embers with a stick, the campfire once again sparked with a warm glow, beckoning the other search party over from the cold and dark surrounding their small camping area.

"Where the hell'd you go?" Johnny asked. Why was he the first one of his team to ask this? Wasn't anyone else concerned?

"I got lost," Regina said with a shrug.

"I'm going to bed," Johnny said, ignoring his sense of unease. The screen on his phone read 9:36 and he knew Daniel would want them to get up at the buttcrack of dawn or some shit. Why weren't the others going to bed, too? They were just sitting around, gooning at him. What the hell was that about? Eh, fuck it. He'd stay up maybe another half hour and read that old Playboy, then finish his Coors Banquet.

When he opened the tent flap, the magazine was just where he'd left it. But his Coors Banquet can was gone. Whatever. He opened the cooler to retrieve another, except the cooler was empty.

He rose and shoved the tent flap aside before glaring at the circle around the campfire. "Danielle, give me back the beer."

Daniel shrugged with a stupid grin while some of the kids looked away or hunched their shoulders, as if to make themselves smaller and avoid his notice. Only Regina met his gaze with a sly smirk.

"You've been drinking too much, Johnny," Daniel said, matter-of-factly.

"We're having this conversation here?" Right in front of all these kids? He was getting lectured like he was a student? The last few days had been mostly peaceful without Danny's snobby attitude.

"You're okay drinking in front of these students, and showing up hungover. You look like shit every morning," Danny said, standing up.

Demetri and Hawk lifted their heads to watch the exchange.

"So, yeah," Danny continued, hands on his hips, like a father delivering a lecture, or how Johnny had seen other people's fathers behave when he was a boy. "They're involved, because they're affected by it. You can't give them good instruction when you're this hungover. You ever thought about what that'll do to your body, too?"

Regina flipped her hair over her shoulder. "What he's trying to say is you're getting a beer gut. You're already old. You want to be dumpy, too? You know, I'm like, a really kind person, so I thought we should put your beer in trees. You'll have to burn off some of the fat if you want to get it. We don't want a fatty for a Scentsy or whatever you're called."