Insatiable [h.s]

16

TW: talk of addiction

There was a knock at my door followed by a soft, "Darlin', time to wake up."

I lifted the mask from my eyes, the harsh morning light filling my room causing me to squint as I tried to clear my foggy vision.

"Okay." I mumbled as an answer to Niall, pulling the mask from my head comply and setting it on the table beside me.

"Breakfast is ready, so go ahead and come down when you're ready." Niall said through the door before the sound of his footsteps started to recede down the hallway towards the stairs.

I pulled myself to sit upright in my bed, sighing as I rubbed my aching eyes. I had a headache from the lack of sleep I got and from crying last night, the throb in the back of my head made me want to curl up in a ball and hide under my covers for the rest of the day.

I groaned as I lifted myself from my bed, walking towards the chair in my room to retrieve Harrys hoodie to shield me from the cold air in the house. But as I reached for it I stopped, my fingers hovering over the soft material as I stared down to it. After a few more moments of contemplation I decided against wearing it.

Wearing his clothes is kind of the last thing I want to do right now.

Instead I just stayed in my tank top, my bare arms chilled against the cool air in my room. I turned and headed over to my dresser where I opened a drawer and pulled out a a pair of grey sweats to slip on over my shorts, and a pair of socks for my feet.

Why is it always so cold in this house?

I grabbed my hairbrush, running it through my matted hair a few times before I took my medicine and slid on my slippers to head towards my bedroom door.

Yawning, I walked down the hall while rubbing my tired eyes with the heel of my hand. It was well after three when I got to bed and like the last two mornings, it's about eight thirty so I'm still exhausted.

I walked down the hallway towards the stairs with thoughts of last night running through my head. Seeing Harry on the floor when I opened the bathroom door will forever be one of the scariest moments of my life. I can still feel the weight in my chest as my heart physically started hurting from seeing him in that state in front of me.

Regardless if he's an asshole or not, I never want to see anyone like that.

So, I guess that's the answer to my own question last night. I didn't mean what I said to him. I could never mean it.

If he were to be in that position again I would undoubtedly once again try to help him the best that I could. Even if it meant he would treat me like shit afterwards.

"What the fuck did he take last night?" I heard Niall ask as I turned down the hall towards the kitchen making me stop dead in my tracks. "I mean, he left Jake down here for christ sake, he never does that."

"I don't know..." Thalia answered him. "But he answered my call when I told him breakfast was ready so he's alright."

He's still alive.

I let a small smile of relief wash over my face at the mention of him being okay. I had been worried all night and kept trying to fight off my sleep to listen as intently as I could in my dark room for any signs of a noise coming from Harry. Finally sleep won me over, but when I woke up in the middle of the night I was worried I might have missed something, some small noise, and then I'd forever blame myself for it.

If something would have happened while I was asleep I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself for it.

"Look guys, I'm more than happy that he's okay as of now, but the problem is he's bound to fuck up sooner or later. He doesn't sleep and he hardly fucking eats. He's surviving off of lines of coke and whiskey— Which by the way, both of those intakes have become much higher within the last few months. " Millie spoke, a harshness in her voice that I had heard last night when she talked to the guy who had his hands on us at the party. "Thalia, I hate to say it but at the rate he's going there's going to be a morning that he won't be alive to answer your call."