Insatiable [h.s]

71

Aurora Walker

The rest of my art things came in today.

The room that Harry had set up for me was perfect– Actually it was beyond perfect. There were no words that could truly describe it.

Having a room that was filled with books and art things gave me a warm feeling that I couldn't quite pinpoint. All I know is that I can't stop smiling anytime that I think of Harry coming up with the idea of setting all of that up for me and then following through with it. Him thinking enough about me to actually go through the effort of ordering all of the things in the room and setting it up made a smile form on my lips that just refused to leave.

The room that everything was in had a balcony attached to it so I would be able to go and paint outside whenever I wanted. The balcony overlooked the hill meaning I would also have a really nice view while I was out there. So that's just another thing that I'm happy about that as well. Because trust me, there's nothing like painting with a view.

After looking through all of the new things that came in today, Harry helped me set it up completely and I decided to go and paint outside. It felt really nice out and it has been a while since I have done anything art related.

I'm pretty sure that the last thing I did was the drawing of Harry at the house in Oregon. I had been sitting on the window while Harry was sprawled out on my bed reading the beginning of the first Hunger Games book. It was the night that we got into the fight about my pills... The night before I walked downstairs and was seen by Todd.

Life has been so crazy lately. I feel like we are always doing something, even if it's just all of us sitting in the pool together. I just haven't had time to do anything other than be surrounded by people, so I decided to dedicate a part of my day today to art.

Harry sat outside with me for a while too. He watched the second and third Hunger Games movies while I painted. For the most part other than Harry having a few questions about the movie, it was quite between us. Harry sat with his eyes on the screen while I lost myself in the field of sunflowers that I had begun to paint.

I did my best to try and envision the field that Harry had taken me to back in Oregon. I tried to remember any details about it that I could, but unfortunately for me, I don't have eidetic memory like Harry does.

I gave it my best attempt though.

I made it from my perspective of sitting down on the blanket beside Harry. The edge of the gray blanket that we had sat on was the frontal focus of the painting before it expanded back to show the flowers that were in front of us. The cloud filled afternoon sky that we sat under that day was bright above the flowers, the blue and white in the sky making everything seem to pop out more.

I tried to make everything but the flowers seemed faded. The colors surrounding them were dull in comparison to the beautiful yellow shades of the petals and greens of the stems.

I wish I could remember everything about that day. I wish I could close my eyes and see it the way that I know Harry can. I wish I could see him that day again, see the way that his walls started to come down for the first time. I wish I could see the look in his eyes as he talked about the sunflowers and the butterflies. I wish I could see the way he tried to hide the adoration written on his face as he lost himself amongst the flowers in front of us.

But it's like the more that I try and remember it, the more that it slips away.

The small details, the seemingly unimportant ones, are the ones that I want to hold onto. Yet everything is slipping away. Soon I feel like I won't even remember certain things that he said to me, or the way I felt sitting next to him.