Insatiable [h.s]

70

Harry Styles

The morning light was coming in through the skylight above my bed and from the glass wall across from me to illuminate the room with a warm golden haze.

I've been laying here awake for a while.

Maybe I should have gotten up a while ago and went downstairs to view the damage of the house but I just can't bring myself to get out of the bed.

Jake was snoring loudly from the foot of the bed— And if I'm being honest that's probably what woke me up in the first place.

My head was resting on Roris chest, my leg slotted between hers with my hand resting on her stomach. In her sleep she had moved, her head turning so that her lips brushed against the top of my head. Her hand that wasn't wrapped around me moved had placed itself on top of mine that was resting on her stomach.

I really should get up.

So why am I still laying here?

My fingertips ghosted over the soft skin of her stomach from where my shirt she wore had risen up over the night. Listening to her soft breaths as she slept beneath me. Feeling the rise and fall of her chest as she continued to stay in the blissful sleep that she had fallen into.

I feel like I could stay here forever.

It felt like nothing else mattered. Nothing else felt as though it was important enough to make me want to end this feeling.

I wish more than anything that were true.

I wish I didn't have the constant nagging, relentless worry about how fast all of this could fall away. That in just a moments time the wrong people could find out where we are and our lives could flip upside down again.

But I know this time, casualties would follow in suit.

I hate the constant worry that someone in my family could be taken away. That it could just take one slip up, one wrong word, and I could lose one of them.

I could lose Rori.

Even that simple thought alone is enough to make me want to pack up the necessities, drain every one of our accounts as much as I can and take us all into hiding. To just go somewhere that no one would expect— a place that I've never talked about, a place I don't have a house, a place I've never been.

I wish nothing more than to just run. To run as far as I can and take the things that matter the most with me.

Does that make a me a coward?

I've never been scared of anything. I've never been afraid at the idea that one day I'm going to lose my family— That they'll lose me. But now, the last month has brought me to realize that I do care. Somehow all of it has come crashing in to be this horrible realization... and I'm fucking terrified of it.

I hate that feeling. I hate feeling weak. I hate knowing that someone can have something over me— A fear. I hate it more than anything.

So at night that's what I dream of. I dream of taking my family, Rori included, and just disappearing.

We could stop by New York and get Chloe if that was what Rori wanted, but after that we would just run. We'd all be together and we wouldn't have to worry about what comes next. We wouldn't have to constantly worry about the future— About what I'm supposed to become.

None of us would have to be scared.

A deep breath from Rori had my racing mind coming to an immediate halt. Every thought I had vanished as I felt her fingers start to softly shift through my hair.