Insatiable [h.s]

64

Another thing can officially be marked off my bucketlist. Well, technically it can be in just another few minutes.

Harry brought me to the zoo today and we are currently on our way to see the giraffes, my favorite animal since I was a kid. I don't know what it is about them that I like so much. I just find them really cute and have alway had a love for them.

Nine things will be checked off of my bucket list now with only eleven more to go. Harrys been amazing in his efforts to help me complete my list. Before him I was convinced that I would never be able to finish it.

But now, within a month, I've been able to mark off nearly half of it thanks to him.

It's actually funny to see him here at the zoo if I'm being honest. Head to toe covered in tatoos, wearing his usual all black attire and carrying a gun in the waist band of his pants walking through the crowds of children with their familes.

I tried to talk him into leaving his gun in the car, but like most places his family is well known here so we were able to get in without having to go through security. I know it should make me feel more safe knowing that Harry always has a way to protect himself– to protect us. I just wish that he could have a normal life sometimes. A life that he deserves.

One that doesnt revolove around hatred, fear and death. I wish more than anything he could be living somewhere quiet, somewhere in the woods far from here with his family— with his mom. That he could spend his days writing his beautiful songs and recording them. I wish he could have a peaceful life.

I know that means that I might never have met him, but I think we'd both be getting on just fine. Most likely at least.

He'd be doing what he loves and I would still be living in New York with Chloe. There never would have been a reason for Harry to be at Imani's club and there would have never been a reason for Conner to drug me.

It's weird though... A part of me feels like regardless of the lives we lived we were always destined to meet. Even thinking that sounds so cheesy but I can't help to feel like it's true.

Now that Harry's in my life I don't like thinking about the possibility of him not needing to be around anymore. I know that would be a good thing. It would mean that Conner was no longer in the picture and that the feud between the families would be over, but I still can't help but selfishly hope that he would want to stay in my life for some reason afterwards.

Harry came into my life so fast that it quite literally turned my world upside down. He didn't care what I thought of him and he made it blatantly obvious. He put on a front that took me a while to break through, both of us fighting each other the entire way. Being stuck in the same house as him and sharing a bathroom with him was a lot for me to handle at first. The thought of seeing him everyday made me feel sick because of how much I genuinely did not like him.

But now I wake up everyday next to him.

How did we get here?

It brings me back to why I think that we were meant to meet. I think I always needed someone like Harry in my life. I needed someone who wasn't afraid of hurting my feelings, someone who would push me past my comfort zone. I needed someone who would understand my past and not judge me based on it because they have dark things hidden in theirs too. I needed someone who would see me for who I am— someone who would see my scars and still think of me as a person.

And I think Harry needed the same. He needed someone who would see past his darkness and help him bask in the light he creates. Someone who can still see the happy little kid that he used to be. The one that loves flowers and writing songs. He needed someone to help him get passed certain things like believing he couldnt be a good friend, or thinking that he wouldn't smile again.