Sunbeam

8.

September 12, 2019

Namjoon stared at some invisible point, sinking into his office chair, glancing at his watch. Usually at this time of the evening everyone was sitting in the office talking.

But for a whole month now, everyone avoided him, hardly spoke to him, and Izeul didn't even want to look at him, blaming him that her Ari had left.

And he had realized his guilt, he didn't need anyone to tell him, least of all, his own daughter. But what did they expect from him, to go after her, to apologize to her, to return her?

He tiredly closed his eyes and relaxed, dozing off. "You disappoint me, Kim Namjoon" he snapped his eyes open and blinked. “Binna…” Namjoon jumped to his feet and reached for her, but she pulled away.

"Sweetie…" he wailed desperately, reaching out again but failing to reach her. "I miss you, baby, I miss you so much..." his eyes filled with tears.

"I miss you too, honey, but you have to let me go." she smiled gently. "You have clung to me for too long, my love, and this is how you hurt our daughter." he shook his head. "Honey, I…" she cut him off with a gesture.

Binna moved closer and cupped his face, Namjoon wrapped his arms around her waist and her smile faded. "You promised me, Namjoon, you promised you'd live. You promised you wouldn't let me down." he shook his head desperately. "I can't…" Namjoon cried and she wiped away the tears he hadn't even felt.

"Why did you send her away, dear, I tried so hard, chose her so carefully." he looked at her confused. "I…" she cut him off again. “This was my last wish, Kim Namjoon, how can I find peace when the people I love are suffering for something that is lost forever? Why did you do this to me, Namjoon?” suddenly her face darkened, her eyes shining with anger and accusation.

"You didn't keep your most important promise, Kim Namjoon!" Binna yelled and Namjoon opened his eyes in shock, sitting up in his chair.

He looked around nervously and relaxed again. He hadn't dreamed of Binna in a long time, and when he did, it was so she could blame him too.

He ran a hand over his face and stared at his fingers in amazement. Tears? Namjoon gritted his teeth. "I'm sorry, baby, I promise I'll make things right" he rubbed his fingers together, getting up.

"Hyung?" Seokjin opened one eye. "What..." Namjoon tugged on his shoulder. "Get up, we have work to do!" Namjoon stood up and threw a t-shirt in his face.

"What's up, Namjoon, Izeul…" he removed the t-shirt from his face, rising with a worried look on his face. "She's fine, sleeping. Get up, I'll wake the others." Namjoon headed for the door.

"What's up, Namjoon?" Seokjin asked before Namjoon walked out. "Wait for me in the office" Namjoon answered and went to wake the others.

"Will someone tell me why I'm up at half past four?" Yoongi asked irritably, resting his head on Hoseok's shoulder. Jungkook just grunted, curling up next to Taehyung, who was already dozing, his head resting on the back of the couch.

Namjoon hit the desk hard and everyone jumped in startle. "What kind of mobsters are you, for God's sake!" he growled and Seokjin raised his eyebrows. "Is there an attack?" he asked, straining.

"Worse" Namjoon answered and Yoongi blinked at him. "What's worse than being attacked?" he asked and Namjoon glared at him. "We need to find a possibly rabid woman and get her back" he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Okay, he's totally freaked out. Seokjin, you deal with him, I'm going to sleep" Yoongi stood up and let out a loud yawn. "Sit down!" Namjoon ordered sharply.

Yoongi looked at him blankly, but sat down. “Okay, say what you want, so I can go back to bed” he mumbled and Namjoon took a breath.

"I want you to help me find and bring back your favorite babysitter" Namjoon said annoyed and everyone gasped, staring at him in shock. "Repeat?" Hoseok leaned forward slightly, sure he hadn't heard correctly.

"You heard me" Namjoon growled and pouted, looking down at the desk. "Huh, good luck, Namjoon, you'll need it." laughed Jin. "He'll need more than luck, hyung." Jungkook muttered.

"You tried to kill her, Namjoon, actually you succeeded, she wasn't breathing as far as I remember. And now you expect to just apologize and she'll come back?" Yoongi shook his head, giving him a wry look.

"I guess it won't be easy. Do any of you know where she is?" Namjoon asked calmly, looking at them expectantly. They looked at each other. "No" Jimin answered.

"Then we'll look for her and bring her back" Namjoon stood up and walked towards the door. "Where are you going?" Hoseok asked. "To find Miss Hyun, of course" Namjoon said, looking over his shoulder. "Namjoon hyung, it's five in the morning, where are you going to look for her?" Taehyung asked.

"We'll track her phone" Namjoon replied and walked out. "He really is completely insane" Taehyung muttered. "Or he just realized his mistake. Whatever it is, we better help him before he does something stupid again" Seokjin stood up and everyone followed Namjoon.

"Will she forgive him?" Jungkook asked hopefully, walking from the back. "Hardly, but maybe this is exactly what he needs to start living again." Yoongi shrugged. "I haven't seen that look on him since Binna died" Hoseok shared and Seokjin looked at him in surprise.

"Which look?" he asked and Hoseok smiled slightly. "It's like having a purpose in life again" he explained and Jin raised an eyebrow.

"Do you think anything has changed in the last few hours?" Jimin asked and Hoseok nodded. "I don't know what, but life is coming back into him" he smiled and shrugged.

"Great, I guess it's better than the eternally indifferent Namjoon" Yoongi sighed, yawning. "Come on, Ari isn't going to find herself and come back on her own!" already enthusiastic, Seokjin strode quickly to the front door.