Sunbeam

23.

November 5, 2019

"Dad…" Ari sleepily opened one eye. "Izeul? What's up, sweetie?" she stood up, checking to see if Namjoon was sleeping. Izeul climbed onto the bed and Ari sat down, pulling her into her lap.

"I had a bad dream" Izeul pouted sobbing. "Oh, sunshine, do you want me to sleep with you? Daddy is very tired and needs to rest?" Ari suggested and Izeul nodded. "Okey, come on" Ari got up with Izeul in his arms and carried her to her room.

She dropped her on the bed, lay down, leaning slightly against the headboard and Izeul curled up in her lap. Ari hugged her tightly and stroked her hair soothingly, humming a nursery rhyme.

"Ari?" she hummed softly in response. "Do you think my mom was pretty?" Ari looked down at Izeul and then at the portrait that now occupied the wall opposite Izeul's bed.

Namjoon felt the stirring in the bed and heard the conversation between the two. A small smile played on his lips as he watched Ari carry his daughter out in her arms. He didn't hesitate long before deciding to follow them, but he bolted to the door when instead of finding them trying to sleep, they were talking.

She felt daggers in his heart when Izeul asked about her mother. Namjoon almost never talked about Binna, it was too painful, but he had to pay attention to his daughter, she had the right to know her mother, to know what kind of person she was.

But instead of taking responsibility, he now stood there like a jerk, his soul aching that Ari was the one who had to answer Izeul's questions. He bit his lip, cursing himself. Arie was probably terribly uncomfortable and it was probably painful for her to respond to the little girl.

Still, he eavesdropped on their conversation. He knew it would be hard for Ari, but they both had to get used to times like this. Izeul had to learn to trust Ari like she would her real mother.

Ari smiled and reached over to switch on the bedside lamp, then turned Izeul's back to face her mother's portrait in all its beauty.

"Look at her sweetie." Ari's soft voice made Namjoon gasp behind the door. "Same eyes, same nose, eyebrows, lips" she gently touched each mentioned body part, showing Izeul exactly what she was saying. "Feel your heart" Ari took the small child's hand and placed it on her heart.

"Did you feel it?" Ari asked and Izeul nodded. "It's all so beautiful, but you know what?" Izeul shook her head, looking back at Ari curiously. "It's not pretty because it's only yours" Ari smiled. "Oooh" Izeul gasped and Ari pointed to her mother's picture.

"They're also beautiful because they're just like your mommy, sweetie" Ari hugged her tightly. "Never doubt that you are beautiful, my love, because you are the daughter of Kim Binna. And no woman on this earth is more beautiful, kind and strong than her." Izeul nodded with a beaming face and rested head on her chest.

"Remember, Izeul, one day when you grow up you will become the same wonderful woman your mother was and I will never let you forget how much she loved you!" Ari whispered, kissing the top of her head.

Namjoon nearly choked at the tenderness, love, and respect with which Ari spoke of Binna. It was as if she knew her, as if she had even been her friend. "You made a great choice, honey" Namjoon mentally thanked Binna for sending a woman like Ari into their lives.

Namjoon took a deep breath and opened the door, standing in the doorway for a moment. Their eyes met and Namjoon realized just how much he was in love with this woman. In her eyes, her lips, her body, in her heart that was so tender and filled with so much love.

He would always have a special place in his heart for his first love, but what he felt for Ari was beyond anything he had ever felt for Binna. Maybe she really was just a transition, a preparation so that today he could love Hyun Ari like he had never loved another human being.

Ari held out a hand to him and he moved closer and climbed onto the bed, laying down next to her, his head on her shoulder and an arm around the already sleeping Izeul.

Ari smiled at him and hugged him, burying her fingers in his hair. "Thank you Ari" Namjoon whispered looking up at her. Her eyes filled with tears and she smiled softly.

Namjoon woke up next to the still sleeping Izeul. He smiled at the side position his daughter was sleeping in and sighed, rising. Careful not to wake her, he left the room, heading straight for the kitchen where he knew he would find Ari.

He stopped at the door, listening to her soft hum, staring at her smooth sure movements. She always managed to get his heart racing. Whether it was anger, passion, or love, it always affected him, from the first moment his arms wrapped around her body, forcing Izeul to embrace her.

Namjoon approached her from behind and wrapped his arms around her shoulders and waist, squeezing her tightly. Ari gave him a sideways glance, stroking his arms soothingly. "Are you okay?" she asked softly and Namjoon nodded, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"Are you sure?" he nodded again and turned her towards him, picked her up and sat her on the counter, pushing a few dishes aside. He wrapped his arms around her waist again and buried his face in her neck. Ari wrapped her arms around his neck and ruffled the hair on the back of his neck.

Namjoon sighed and lifted his head, cupping her face. He softly pecked her lips and rested his forehead against hers. Ari blinked in confusion but patted his shoulders reassuringly before placing her hands on his.

"My big baby is sad, why?" Ari asked in a thin voice that made him smile wryly. "Because he's an amazing fool who doesn't deserve you" Namjoon sighed and Arie raised his eyebrows. "And what led you to this ingenious thought?" Ari asked jokingly.

“I overheard your conversation with Izeul last night and…” he closed his eyes and lowered his head. Ari sighed. “I'm sorry, it's probably not my job to talk about Binna, especially since I don't know her…” Namjoon jerked his head up and silenced her, kissing her passionately.

"You were lovely, Ari! I couldn't have said anything so lovely myself, and I'm supposed to have loved her mother once." he hastened to shower her face with kisses.

"Loved?" she repeated and Namjoon nodded. "That's right, in the past tense. Binna will always be special to me, but she's not the woman who makes my heart go crazy, my love" he kissed her long again.

Ari blinked uncomprehendingly and so charmingly that Namjoon couldn't help but kiss her again and again and again until she gasped and giggled.

"You're the most wonderful thing that's happened to me since Izeul was born, baby, and I'd be an idiot if I ever let you go." Namjoon whispered into her lips. "I'm sorry if I've made you feel in my late wife's shadow or underappreciated, but I swear I'll spend the rest of my life with you, proving to you how much I love you!" Namjoon swore, wiping away the tears that ran down her cheeks.

"Namjoon" he raised an eyebrow. "You're telling me that…" she trailed off uncertainly and blushed, looking down shyly. Namjoon smirked and lifted her chin with a finger.

"What, honey?" Namjoon teased her and she pursed her lips, pushing him off the counter. "Well, well!" he took her wrists and kissed her palms. "I love you, Hyun Arie" Namjoon stated cheerfully and her eyes widened in amazement.

"You…love me…" he nodded grinning. "Me?" Ari asked again, pointing to her chest. "You" Namjoon confirmed. "Oh my God! I love you, I love you, I love you!" Namjoon laughed at her disbelieving face and kissed her, hugging her so hard her bones started to crack.

"Enough!" she nudged his chest and he tilted his head slightly, expectantly. "What?" Ari asked innocently, eyelashes fluttering. "Aren't you going to answer me" Namjoon growled angrily and Ari pretended to think about it.

“Well, now that I think about it, maybe it's better if we break up and…” she squealed loudly as Namjoon started tickling her and squirmed in his arms. "Okay, okay. I love you too" she cooed, wrapping her arms around his neck.