cardigan, a. butler

seventy-four

seventy-four, final goodbyes

since the news of austin and kaia's relationship broke the internet, elsie hardly went onto her social media accounts and instead focused on her movie and her singing career.

the night she had found out austin cheated on her with kaia, elsie had isolated herself in her hotel room and began strumming the strings of her guitar as she let the lyrics come to her.

her heart pouring into the pages of her song book and showcasing the hurt she had felt throughout the aftermath of their breakup.

with luke, she had expected what happened but with austin, she couldn't have known he'd hurt her the way he did.

she couldn't have known that he'd move on so easily as if she was nothing.

as if what they had together was nothing.

elsie was opening up herself to love again and allowing herself to feel things that she closed herself off of for so long.

she wasn't fearful of her future with austin like she was with luke.

she wasn't afraid of the unknown. not when she had austin by her side.

he made the future look a little less scary.

he made her feel loved when she didn't think she could be loved.

but the cruel reality of it all was that he wasn't in love with her.

although he wanted her in his future, he couldn't say he was in love with her.

no matter how many times she was told it wasn't her fault, she couldn't help but blame herself.

maybe she was making them move too fast.

maybe that's why he sought comfort in someone else.

maybe she was the reason he ran to kaia.

and that's what hurt the most.

it hurt elsie so much at the thought of her ruining their relationship.

everything they experienced together was gone in a flash and was now a painful memory.

their love was a painful memory.

although he had hurt her like luke had, she couldn't take the necklace he had given her off.

everytime she was anxious, she would play with it and it brought her some form of comfort.

she knew it would be best for her to discard it and never take a second glance at it again but for now, she'd wear it.

at least until she finished writing her last goodbye to austin.

she pressed record on her phone before strumming the strings of her guitar.

"we gather here, we line up weeping in a sunlight room.

and if i'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes too.

even on my worst day, did i deserve babe, all the hell you gave me?

cause i loved you, i swear i loved you till my dying day.

i didn't have it in myself to go with grace. and you're the hero flying around saving face.

and if i'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? cursing my name, wishing i stayed, look at how my tears ricochet.

we gather stones, never knowing what they'll mean.

some to throw, some to make a diamond ring.

you know i didn't want to have to haunt you but what a ghostly scene.

you wear the same jewels that i gave you as you buried me.

i didn't have it in myself to go with grace. cause when i'd fight, you used to tell me i was brave.

and if i'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? cursing my name, wishing i stayed, look at how my tears ricochet.

and i can go anywhere i want, anywhere i want, just not home.

and you can aim for my heart, go for blood, but you would still miss me in your bones.

and i still talk to you when i'm screaming at the sky.

and when you can't sleep at night, you hear my stolen lullabies.

i didn't have it in myself to go with grace. and do the battleships will sink beneath the waves.

you had to kill me but it killed you just the same. cursing my name, wishing i stayed, you turned into your worst fears.

and you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain, crossing out the good years.

and you're cursing my name, wishing i stayed, look at how my tears ricochet."

elsie looked out of her hotel window at the city of london, her hometown.

a small smile appeared on her face as she stared out of her window.

"my tears ricochet." she whispered before she glanced down at the other song she had already written.

writing used to not come easy for elsie but because of the heartbreak she had experienced, it was easy for her to pour her emotions into words and onto the pages of her song book.

and as she continued to finish the last verse of her final song, she felt relief wash over her.

this was her goodbye to austin and this was a way for her to move on and heal.

of course, elsie still had many weeks, maybe even months to heal from the amount of pain she had endured but this was one step to her finally letting go of austin and allowing herself to move on and focus on herself.

without elsie being on social media, her healing process would be more beneficial without the girl having to see or read about austin.

he was no longer going to be a thought in her mind.

he would just be a distant memory.

elsie shut her notebook closed before reaching her hands behind her neck and unclapsing the necklace.

she brought it in front of her face and smiled sadly as she glanced at the date etched onto it.

"goodbye austin." she whispered as she placed the necklace in a box before shutting it in a drawer she knew she wouldn't take a second glance at.

"here's to new beginnings and healing." she breathed out with a smile.

"elsie! we're about to leave for set, do you want to carpool?" emma yelled from the other side of the door.

"yeah, i'm coming!" elsie yelled back as she grabbed her stuff and opened the door to be met with her costar.

"shall we?" elsie asked with a small smile.

"we shall." emma exclaimed before they linked their arms together and made their way towards the elevator.

this was the beginning of elsie's healing journey and she couldn't wait for what was to come.

BELLA'S CORNER
elsie is better than me fr

would've exposed him 🙄

should elsie release her songs or should she pull a harry and only sing them for her tour?

also, should luke have like a redemption arc? kinda want that mf to mature and right his wrongs 😒