meant to be?

23. kiss

it was currently christmas eve.

me and aria were currently at the mall, and the plan was for us to go home, make cookies, put her to bed, and me and rafe could watch a christmas movie before bed.

"aria are you ready to go so we can make cookies for santa?" i say. "yes!" she says. "okay come on." i say.

we walk to the car and i get her in to her seat, before going to the drivers seat.

we started to drive home but while i was driving and aria was singing her favourite song jingle bells the car said break failure.

i pulled over as fast as i could. "shit" i whisper. "what happen-ed momma?" she asks. "the cars not working baby." i say. "oh no" she says.

"love just sing jingle bells" i say as i pull out my phone.

"otay! jingle bells, jingle bells  jingle all da way!!" she sings as i call rafe not knowing what to do.

"hello?" he says. "hey um i dont know what to do! my car has break failure me and aria are pulled over on the side of the road." i say.

"what the f- where are you?" he asks. "you know the road with the trees by the park?" i ask.

"yes, stay there im coming right now" he says. "thank you" i say as we hang up.

i listen to aria sing for around 10 minutes before i see rafes truck pull up behind me.

i step out of the car.

"take aria, and go sit in the truck." he says. "cant i do something to help?" i ask. "no, just take her." he says. "okay" i sigh.

i get aria out of her seat in my car, and get her in to her seat in rafes.

"ill be right back baby, keep singing" i say as i get out of the car and walk to rafe.

"i called a tow, it's dangerous to drive and impossible to pick right now" he says. "okay.." i say.

"thank you" i say. "im just happy you two are safe." he says as he rubs my lower back.

as i walk back to rafes truck a homeless man approaches me. 

"hi- do you have any money, im really hungry." he says.

"um.." i check my pockets and pull out a dollar. "this  is all i have on me, sorry" i say. "thank you, this means a lot anything helps, god bless you" he says making me smile.

he walks over to rafe and asks the same thing, but rafe tells him to "fuck off go get a job"

i walk over to them and give rafe some mom eyes.

"im sorry- he-hes drunk, you have a merry christmas" i say as the man walks away.

i dont say anything to rafe a i walk to the truck and get in to the car with aria so she's not alone.

rafe walks over and gets in to the backseat with us, squishing me in between her car sear and him.

"it's cold out there. I'm waiting for the tow truck in here" he says.

"you wear jacket dadda" aria says. "I don't have a jacket with me sweets" he says.

"you can wear mine?" i offer. "its not gonna fit me." he says.

"no i think it will." i say.

"you're right it will I just don't wanna wear it." he says.

"fine then you stay here with aria and ill go outside when the tow truck person gets here" i say.

"you know nothing about cars" he says. "you know nothing about cars!" i say.

"true, but its cold outside" he says. "what's your point I literally have a jacket and you don't" i say.

the tow truck arrives. "stay here" i say as i climb over rafe and get out of the car, walking over to the guy.

"hi, this is my car and it said I was having brake failure so I couldn't drive anymore" i say. "oh, that's fixable, I can just tow it down to our shop and then you can come to pick it up after" he says.

~

it was now much later, all the cars shit was done we just made christmas cookies and put aria to bed.

me and rafe were now sitting on the couch, watching home alone 2.

"you want some hot chocolate? cuz i do" i say. "oh yeah sure" he says. "good" i say as i get up and walk to the kitchen.

he follows me there and helps me make the hot chocolate.

"this is gonna be her first Christmas with us together" i say. "not like she remembered the other two" rafe says.

he pressed up against mg back and wraps his arms around my waist. "merry christmas" he whispers.

i look to the clock and see its midnight. "merry christmas" i say while laughing as i turn around to look at him.

his eye contact makes me nervous so i slowly look away.

he slowly leans down, and down, and down.

as our lips get closer and closer i get scared and turn back around to the hot chocolate.

"okay what was that?" he asks as he grabs my hips and turns me back around to look at him.

"I just don't want it to be awkward in the more, I don't want to ruin christmas for aria" i say.

"it wouldn't have been awkward, now its awkward" he says.

"i-im sorry i just got scared" i say. "scared of what kay?" he says.

"everything!" i say. "me?" he questions. "no- I promise its not you. it's just things are going really good right now and I don't want us to be fighting." i say.

he nods, but I can tell he's annoyed, and I don't blame him.

"im just a little confused" he says.

"about what?" i ask.

"you-you can sleep in the same bed as me at night, accept when i try and cuddle you, and take my comfort, but i cant even kiss you." he says.

"rafe i dont know, its just a kiss can change a lot" i say. "you literally said you missed me the other day." he says.

"yeah i do miss you, i just cant do this, okay. i hate myself for it but i can't" i say.

"whatever, its fine. i dont want hot chocolate anymore. and since you apparently miss me but you're scared ill just do us both a favour and sleep in the guest room." he says as he walks up the stairs.

fuck, christmas may be awkward after all.