meant to be?

32. sorry

i was currently at home with my dad, topper, aria, and of course milo.

aria sat in my lap as we watched a movie.

topper and my dad were currently calling a bunch of people telling them what happened and when the funeral would be.

i didn't know if i should tell aria what happened.. i mean shes just a baby but she should still know. i dont know.

"momma who yours favourite? ariel or jasmine?" she asks. "hmm probably jasmine. i love the monkey abu in the movie" i say making her laugh.

currently we were watching tangled for the 100th time.

i brush through her hair with my fingers and smile. "momma i wan' a babysitter or broder." she says. "you do?" i ask.

she nods. "where we buy one?" she asks. "its not that simple love" i say. "why?" she asks.

"remember i told you, that you came out of my tummy?" i ask. she nods. "so another baby needs to come out of there to." i say.

"how do baby get in the tummy?" she asks. "well.." i say.

"dadda, he gave me a yummy pizza, with a seed in it, and i ate it, so the seed was in my tummy, and then the seed turned in to you!" i say.

"ooh!" she says "tell dadda make more pizza for you." she says.

"but i dont want more babies ari, i have you" i say.

she pouts as she crosses her arms. "can i call dadda?" she asks.

"dadda" blocked me.

"why?" i ask. "i need to tell something." she says.

"okay hold on." i say as i grab toppers phone, put the password in and call rafe.

i put it on speaker and give it to aria.

"hello?" he says. "hi dadda!" aria says with a smile. "oh hey baby. whats up?" he asks.

"can you make more pizza?" she asks.

jesus.

"what pizza?" he asks. "the one you make for momma with seeds for baby in her tummy." she says.

"momma wants another baby?" he asks in confusion.

"yes! she really wan' a-" i cut her off. "no i do not want any more babies, these are lies" i say making aria start laughing.

"im so confused" rafe says. "be confused, aria say bye" i say. "otay bye dadda!" she says.

"bye bye aria i love you." he says. "i wove you to" she says as she hangs up the phone.

when did she learn that-

"what the heck was that?!" i ask her as she starts hysterically laughing.

"not funny" i say as i smile.

~

it was currently 8pm. aria bedtime was 830 so we just brushed her teeth and got her changed.

currently she was sitting on her bedroom floor with me as we played with her barbies her her doll house.

"baby you know when someone is a little old, so they leave our world and go to another world, one where they are happier?" i say. "mhm just wike great grapa greg." she says.

"love, grandma did that, shes in the other world now." i say.

"ganma leave our world?" she asks. i nod slowly.

"i see her again when she come back?" she asks.

"no darling she lives there now, but one day in a long long long long looooong long time, you are ganna go to that world and see her again." i say. "oh. otay" she says.

"come on get in bed." i say. "no sweepy time" she pouts. "yes sleepy time." i say as i hold her hand and walk to her bed with her.

she gets in and hugs her stuffed animal.

i tuck her in. "okay i love you" i say. "i wove you to" she softly smiles as she closes her eyes.

"good night" i say as i kiss her head.

I get up and turn on the baby monitor before shutting off the light and leaving the room.

i then go to the living room and my dad left.

"Dad just went back to wards since he's been staying there, is it okay if I stay here tonight? i just cant be in moms place right now" he says

"you dont even have to ask of course you can" i say. "thanks" he says.

"i mean i like having someone with me other then a 3 year old sometimes so its not a bad thing, plus.. i kinda maybe sorta maybe miss our movie nights." i say.

he grins as he nods. "of course you miss me" he says. "shut the fuck up you know you miss me more" i say as i walk to the kitchen to grab something for us to eat.

"you will never hear me say that" he says.

"what about when i moved out and you cried" i say. "we never speak of that again" he says. "oh yeah we are" i laugh.

"god i hate you sometimes" he says. "you love me you liar" i say.

"we are not going through this again" he says making me shrug.

"chips or ice cream?" i ask. "both" he says. "pick one" i say.

"god you're such a mom" he says. "pick" i say with an eye roll.

"ice cream" he says.

"wrong choice i wanted chips" i say as i grab the chip bag and sit on the couch.

"kaylen i-i-uh think you should talk to rafe, because if you dont im going to end up punching him." he says.

"topper no. im not talking to him and you're not killing him." i say

"whatever" he sighs

~

after me and topper watch the movie he goss to the guest room and i go to my room and go to sleep.

i wake up at 2:30am from my phone ringing.

shit i forgot to turn off my ringer.

i see its rafe.

"i thought you blocked me" i say in a tired voice.

"im outside open the front door" he says. "what the fuck go home." i say annoyed.

"no-just-fuck open it please!" he says. "jesus fine wait a sec" i say as i hang up and walk out of my bed and to the living room.

i open the door and his face is busted up. "uhm.." i say.

"i-im so sorry, i-i topper called me and told me everything and i went and beat the shit out of barry he is never laying a fucking finger on you ever again" he says.

"okay" i say blankly.

"please im sorry" he says.

"that doesn't change the fact that you were fucking another girl while i needed you rafe, even if i don't wanna admit it i needed you so badly." i say.

"im so so so sorry" he says.

"i. dont. care." i say.

"look im tired, i look terrible, i literally cant keep my eyes open." i say.

"please just let me hug you" he says.

"god i hate you come in." i say as he walks in.

"sit" i say as i grab shit to cleam his cuts.

i sit down beside him and start cleaning his cuts with rubbing alcohol making him hiss out in pain.

"sorry" i whisper as i finish cleaning then.

"baby its okay" he says giving me butterflies.

"are you okay?" he asks. "fine." i nod.