My Name Is Bucky [FemBucky&Sam]

Captain Douchebag

The plane ride back to the States is mostly quiet, but after Sam finally manages to calm his own raging thoughts, he finally glances over to where Bucky is sitting opposite him, and he can’t help feeling a little guilty for being so angry with her. Especially when he can see the silent war going on in her sullen, but (God, help him, he thinks) really pretty blue orbs. “You OK, Buck?” He then, finally, asks, after warring with himself over if he even should.

“Take the shield back, Sam. It’s yours, no matter who carries it.” He blinks, because that’s not what he thought she was going to say (at all) and Bucky doesn’t see it, but then, looks up at him with some sort of meaningful gaze as she says, “I’ll help you. We can do this ourselves. We don’t need anybody else.”

Sam is even more surprised by those words, and he only catches himself showing it for a few seconds before he sighs heavily and shoots her a meaningful look of his own. “We can’t just run up on the man, beat the shit out of him and take it for ourselves.”

Bucky scowls, because she knows he’s right (like he usually is) and because he also seems to (already) know her too well, because he then, with a smirk, adds, “As much as I know you would definitely like the beat the shit out of Walker –“ Bucky wants to smile, but can’t. “You do remember what happened the last time we stole it, don’t you?”

“I might...” Bucky barely lets out a grumble. “My mind is still going through its healing process. After all, I was brainwashed for a really, really long time.”

She puts dramatic emphasis on the second ‘really’ and her snootiness is back again, and Sam smiles, nods, humours her and says, “Oh, I don’t doubt it. I’m just waiting for you to snap. I’m definitely curious to see what that looks like without your Winter Murder Mode.”

Bucky narrows her eyes slightly at his teasing, ignores the fact that it makes her insides feel slightly giddy. She doesn’t know why his comment doesn’t sting her this time, but she doesn’t dare question it. Mainly, because deep down, she already knows why. But she feels she probably should worry a little, if he’s being serious under all the banter, if he really wishes to see what’s left of the Winter Soldier in her. She knows it’s a lot more than he probably thinks, and without knowing how he really feels about that - save for knowing he’s not afraid of her, just maybe, what she’s capable of in the wrong hands (and honestly, she still thinks that, too, sometimes) - Bucky knows that he will always be wary around her, even if he’s too good at hiding it for even her to see.

Hopefully, Bucky gloomily thinks, he’ll never have to see her like that ever again.

[A Few Hours Later.]

When Captain Douchebag calls her “asset,” it upsets her (more than it probably should.) She knows he probably thinks he’s trying to make her sound important, but it only takes her mind back to HYDRA, and makes her wonder if she will ever really be free of them. The horrors they put her through are over, yes, but those horrors will last a lifetime in her head, and she knows that they will plague her until her last living breath, but only if she lets them.

The Doc isn’t pleased with the turn out, and while Bucky is pleased for the halt on her (pointless, she bitterly thinks) therapy sessions, she’s also pissed that now she really does have to work with Walker and (ugh, she thinks, all over again) “Battlestar.”

...OK, she’ll obviously pretend, that’s not the problem, she’s very skilled at that also. The problem is the effort of actually having to do that on top of everything else, now... OK, that’s a lie, because she’s excellent at multitasking, too. The real problem is actually having to “play nice.” At least, maybe, she thinks, they could prove somewhat useful, every once in while anyway.

The Doc doesn’t ask Walker, just like how she demands that Bucky see her right away, and that, to Bucky’s amusement and his dismayed resistance, she wants Sam to join them both.

They follow the Doc through the station and into one of the vacant interrogation rooms. She takes a seat on one side of the table, readies her notes and watches with slight amusement as they both pull up their chairs to face one another before both sitting down, as slowly as they possibly can. Interesting, she thinks, not so friendless, after all.

When neither of them fill the (painfully dull) silence, only slightly glare at one another, Dr. Raynor speaks up for them, and really does try to keep the annoyance down to a (professional, of course) minimum.

“So... Which one of you would like to start?” She glances between them, and is pleased to know at least one of them is a talker when Sam goes first. Although, she’s almost grown so accustomed to Barnes’ staring thing, that Dr. Raynor almost hadn’t realised she was doing it again.

“Look –“ Sam looks at the Doctor. “I get why you want me to talk to the Winter Rage over here.” Sam ignores Bucky’s sour look, but both he and Dr. Raynor want to smile, and both think better of it. “But me? I’m absolutely fine. I’m a therapist, myself.” Sam glares back at Bucky when she scoffs lightly.

Dr. Raynor almost laughs. “And as a therapist, you obviously know that it’s my job to make sure you’re both OK... And that you can’t therapize yourself.”

Sam frowns at her, but ultimately, knows she’s right. Yet, he still can’t stop himself from saying, “This is ridiculous.”

Bucky smirks. “Welcome to the other side of the fence, Sam.”