My Name Is Bucky [FemBucky&Sam]

Nope [P.1]

Bucky is startled awake by a noise somehow both unfamiliar and distantly familiar at the same time. She quickly notes she doesn't feel like she's in danger, even before her eyes suddenly snap open at the hushed little sounds. It's a wonderful change from being thrown (most times, violently) awake, from crawling desperately out of her horrid "dreams" every goddamn night.

The serum never lets her stay groggy for more than a couple of minutes, which she only found out once escaping HYDRA, but she's thankful for it, something else that reminds her she is still human, even if she's still superhuman. Whenever They would pull her out of cryo-sleep, she would always feel discombobulated; lost, trapped between the voices of their victims - the Soldier's and hers (to share, but only for her to bare the weight of them; the horror of them as they slowly accumulated over the years) and the almost equally loud and cruel voice of the Soldier taunting her, making her feel almost as bad as They made them both feel.

Bucky would feel all of that, every damn time, and it would make her feel even more fearful when the Soldier would walk right up to that fucking chair and sit right down, like a "good little puppy" - another reason she chose to get a cat. She would scream, and the Soldier would scream with her or back at her, would pretend that Bucky was the only one who was scared of the indescribably unbearable pain that would never fail to follow when They would strap her down and shove those thousands of electrical volts into her brain, when They would try to erase Bucky from the Soldier's mind, piece by excruciating piece. And in their fractured mind, Bucky would scream as loud as she could, would scream out loud with the Soldier, would scream in their mind, too, if only just to punish the Soldier for not fighting back at all, if only just to punish herself for not fighting back enough.

There was method in Bucky's screaming, in Bucky's constant battle with the Soldier part of her... Constant determination to break their mind before HYDRA would (hopefully) one day push them both too far and finally break it for them. Bucky always knew, just as the Soldier did, that They would only ever keep Their precious "Assets" until the time came that they were no longer useful.

And Bucky prayed for that day to come, hoped for death for so long, so very fucking long...

But today, in fact, for a while now - she suddenly realises as her ears take in a quiet, but equally enthusiastic "whoosh!" and then a "boom!" - Bucky hasn't felt like that, at all. Hasn't felt like the world is ending, hasn't felt like her world should be ending. She knows why that is, who that is responsible for her feeling like this way, and she's smiling to herself as she turns her head and sees (who she assumes are) Sam's two nephews.

Bucky stays silent, her small smile lingering as she watches them play around for a few moments.

They've taken the shield from its case, the young and adorably shorter boy barely holding the "round hunk of metal" up off the floorboards. The older, taller and slightly skinnier boy pretends to be who Bucky assumes is supposed to be Iron-Man, as he holds up his hands and imitates the same "blaster thingies" - she still doesn't know what they're really called - that blasted off Bucky's arm. And as painful and as fucked up as that the situation was, Bucky has always been silently grateful to Stark Junior for doing it; for destroying that horrid reminder.

...She wasn't too keen on getting an "upgrade," but she does have to admit that it's come in pretty "handy."

Bucky feels her neck start to cramp a little - and huh, she thinks, she must have actually slept like the fricking dead, because that never happens. She frowns when she sees her boots are still on, frankly, doesn't even remember falling asleep. She faces the boys again, tries not to feel too guilty for disturbing their adorable playing as she finally announces herself. And it's probably the only reason she's not feeling as nervous around them (or kids in general) as she thought she would be.