My Name Is Bucky [FemBucky&Sam]

Soldat

"Ty sovsem zabyl ob etom, soldat."

Bucky is bolting upright on her makeshift bed. Which is odd, because she remembers falling asleep to the sound of Sam's heart beating steadily under her head. She doesn't feel any grogginess, only her own heart now slightly racing as she stares up at the blonde in confusion.

"Sharon?"

Sharon stands at the foot of her bed, practically looms over her and smiles rather creepily, and Bucky swears it was daylight before, swears she must be having a nightmare. And when Sharon slips a hand into her jacket and slowly pulls out the dreaded red book (the one Bucky hoped to never see again), Bucky's eyes are wide with terror. Her gaze fixes on the black star slapped across the front of the blood red cover, her heart lunging in her chest as it lurches and then speeds up.

"No," Bucky whispers, whimpers, "Please," Shakes her head, stutters, "D-don't."

She doesn't know why, (except that she does, because this has to be a nightmare!) but Sharon then tells her, "I need you to shape the century... Just one last time..."

"No!" Bucky is yelling then, somewhere between angry, afraid and desperate.

She scrambles to her feet, suddenly no longer wearing her tank-top or Sam's boxers, now only wearing the leather straps They used to put her in. The goggles and mask are just as suddenly strapped to her head and they feel like they're suffocating her. On top of that, her hair is a long mop of a mess, shrouding her vision and reaching passed her elbows. Her heart is then slowly beating out of her fucking chest, because now she's looking down and her silver arm has replaced the gold and black. The ugly red star seems to smugly smirk back up at her and Bucky almost stumbles over her blankets in the shock of it all.

This isn't happening, Bucky thinks, reminds herself. This isn't happening, because she can't hear the Winter Soldier's voice in the back of her mind, laughing at her for being so fucking weak. But then, Sharon is laughing at her instead...

"You are the Winter Soldier, Barnes... No matter how much you like to tell yourself you're not..."

Bucky is the Winter Soldier. Was the Winter Soldier. Point is, she's only afraid of one thing. And that's those fucking words. She killed whatever handlers she could over the years, gladly took whatever punishment They gave her for it, each and every time. She will gladly add one more to the list.

Bucky rips the goggles off with a glare, rips off the mask with a snarl, tosses them both to the floor, and take a step forward. "If you really do have that book, Sharon," She grits her teeth to calm herself down, glares straight into the blonde's vacant eyes. "I will kill you."

Sharon leans forward, softly whispers, "Of course you will... That's just what you were created for..."

"No, that's not-"

Bucky blinks and then she's back in her room, head still pressed to Sam's slowly rising and falling chest. She blinks rapidly, tries to process just what the actual fuckedy fuck! She quickly realises she's shaking all over, just as quickly slips from the bed as carefully as she can, tries to not wake him (mainly because she doesn't want to him to see her having a panic attack.) However, her breathing is obviously a lot louder than she thinks, because she can faintly hear his footsteps following behind her, and that's because her pulse is ringing loudly in her ears.

"Bucky?"

Bucky barely registers his blotchy sounding voice, tries to use the brisk walk of her checking her entire apartment over for intruders in hopes of walking the panic attack off.

The worst thing is, she felt for a brief second, like she was actually being dragged back... There.

"Bucky? What're you doing? What's wrong?"