Atonement?

P: Letter T: Confusion

Letter: confusion

Lily,

Somehow when I talk to you I can't find myself lying. When we talk your voice changes and mine does the same. When I tell you something that I wouldn't tell anyone I kind of laugh at myself because what I tell you isn't really a secret but I find myself returning to the little kid that is buried inside of me saying, "Sh...! Don't tell!" In a loud whisper.

My trust for you has never left. We are opposites. We attract. I threw you away supposedly and I'm sorry that I ever gave that thought ever away. I never wanted you to leave me. Although, I was too happy so I did something against my will. One of these days we'll sit together at lunch, at a park, or maybe at dinner, either way when that day comes it'll be a day in my life that I know I will never forget because to me- if I lost you I wouldn't be able to tell how'd I'd feel. I hurt you and I know what I've done but we've apologized and know now, I hope we can call what people title each other after a good time... That title... Is friend.

Always. Always... We will always... Be more than just friends. Sad to say but you and I know it's true. I just want to spend time with you. Just going for walks or talking with you. That's e only way we really 'spend time' together is through the phone and even when we were together outside of school was the phone. If we could have a day to catch up face to face I'd like that. Actually... I think that's what I want for my birthday. Just day a with you. Would you give me that for my birthday? My birthdays on a Monday this year. May we walk on a Sunday or a Saturday perhaps? May we be together without a collapse of either of us? I hate to reminisce and I know you do too. But what I want for my birthday is a friendly approach to you. I saw you and it ticked you off because you couldn't be with me and you told me yet saw each other. It was as if fate mocked us.

You say that there's nothing in this town to do. Well, spend some time with me my friend and maybe well find something to do. No movies because of bad memories. No carnival because it's a bad taste. There's no place to eat because I'm a bit handy cap on food and then if I were to go over to your house then I'd be the fool-to even try. You'd never approach my house. Besides, I have three. I switch between them and it drives me nuts but that's just how my fates meant to be. There's no action in the mall that we can find to amuse us. He'll, I just want to do stupid stuff like we did in the past but since we're both logically it'd be illogical to revert but maybe for some fun. Just once.

One of these days I'll be able to face you and it'll okay. One of these days fate won't push us away. I mean it. One day we can happy with just a settlement. May it be friends. May it co-workers. May it be more. But all I know is that. Y heart tells me that there's something more. We'll be able to be around each other and it'll be okay. And when that day comes I'll praise. We've always been torn apart but that's exactly what brought us together and for that reason we've become as strong as ever. It took years to deflect and it took years to repair it also too years to put together but in the end the years will just be Ni Myers and the memories will be numerous. I miss so much. It's bad. I call you my ex but really you're my best friend.

Outside of my world is your world then ours. You left the world within my grasp and made our world completely vast. I wish you would've stayed but I wouldn't have recovered from my phase if you hadn't so I'm glad that you did but I still wish you were here. I was the reason why you stayed and I was the reason why you left. No one knows the relation between us. Hell if I know myself. There are days that we argue and that's how we get a long and then we agree and we agree strong. Yes, it's rare but it's still likely Nd then when things go wrong we tend to get along a lot faster. We're better at accept each others differences and yet we can't stand our similarities. I'll tell you one thing though. The one thing we have in common is this. Te fact that the word love has never slipped. In our hearts it's deeply engraved and even with denial it soothes the pain as well caused the heart ache that lies deep inside. Best friends forever? If anything.... You are mine.