Atonement?

Are You Stalking Me...?

As of right now I'm still editing my first poetry book. Once I finish editing it I will wait a month until I touch this one XD. I just can't handle doing all of this at once. I mean, my crew gets it done but I myself asked them for help because I couldn't do it on my own and now I realize that I still have to read over the poems and entries in order to make sure that it still sounds like me. I'll tell you one thing. I have new ideas for the third book and yes I will make a third book lmao. It's already saved under my works. The only reason why I already had it was that I already made a book cover because I knew what I wanted. I was about to say that the next one is more for show and becoming famous but now that I think about it I never liked that route in the first place and Summer makes me think twice about becoming famous. When you do become famous you tend to lose yourself. That. Is something I for sure don't want to do.

Do you know how many times I'm online and typing up poems and entries and I'm talking to Lily? This time is no different. She has access to my works now though. *Shudder* I think I'll pay attention more in the next poetry book on who I mention because I don't really keep track. Shoot. There was one person on here that I wrote about and I completely forget that I had changed their name and I'm just like... Who am I talking to? XD Then I figured it out and laughed because it clicked. Tomorrow I will be going on a band trip and I'll write out the mistakes in the poems of the other book while I head over there. It's the only thing that I can do. Jean wants to sit with me but I for once haven't signed the bus list and it just never kind of crossed my mind. I'm slightly jealous of Lily. She's talking about these colleges who want her all over the WORLD. And yet, she wants to go to the military and be in the airforce. I wish I was as smart as her. Then again, she's not as emotional as me which shouldn't be a good thing but she can't write like I can. My writing actually bores her and always has.

She's one of the people I wish I could impress. That's another thing. I could write and become famous and still not be satisfied because this woman, this girl, this far from being emotional person can read my writings and yet not like them. They bore her. The only thing I want from her is for her to actually like one story that I've written. She's so complicated! This girl and I are opposites. So, if I were to write something she would like it would probably be out of my taste but at the same time if I managed to write something and she considerable like it I would check something off of my bucket list. I. Cannot. Amuse. Her. In this way. T_T Grr. Although, that's why I like her. No matter what I do she's blunt but she also has a different taste in EVERYTHING. She refuses to see me, yet she still answers my calls. It's like she's taunting me....! It's...! It's...! It's so frustrating!

I haven't really looked back much in this book. Although, it has been completed in an almost complete nine. And you know what's even cooler? I started this poetry book on a day before Skyler's birthday! Oh!!! Lol And now that I look back on it I started Venture on Von's birthday. Von is a guy that hates being important XD. Yes, I mean it. He doesn't like being important. So Oh in his face he's important! Bam.

Back on subject somewhat. I think I'll post the first poem on my birthday. If I find that I can't then I'll do it a day before. There are a lot of competitions going on right now so I'll just see what happens. I also need to take a break from typing up poetry anyway. I've always told myself that but I think this is it. I can wait a week or so. Besides, I have to write up an essay that I have two words out of twelve hundred words on. This is hilarious.

But seriously though, Are you stalking me? If you've gotten this far that means you've read through two hundred chapters or at least one hundred fifty something. This is.... Whoa. You guys are amazing. You help my esteem boost ten fold thank you. If there's anything you'd want me to do for you I'm here. I'm always open to hear someone talk or really anything. If you want to tell me something and then never speak to me again, that's fine too. Thank you guys. I really appreciate this. I've made it this far and I you've gone every step of the way with me. Thank you. Again. And Again. And Again. Seriously though, stop stalking me. Let me stalk you for a chance gee!