The Whispers of Shadows - Azriel

62

By the time the four of them managed to get back to the estate, the door had shut behind Emerie, Nesta, and Gwyn. Aurora was just a few steps back and stopped in her tracks when the door shut in front of her. With a sigh, she pushed it open and felt the warmth of the house kiss her skin. In the sleeping home, the females did nothing to quiet their laughs and shouts, which were now echoing in the halls. Aurora leaned down and pulled her shoes off, hanging them from her fingers as she followed them to the stairs.

"Are you two staying the night?" Aurora asked softly as she came up beside them. Gwyn's eyes flashed to hers before focusing back on the stairs, but Emerie responded.

"Nesta is kicking Cassian out for the night, we're staying with her," she grinned before tripping. Nesta caught her by the arm and tugged her back up to a standing position. Aurora nodded and continued up the stairs, realizing that she, too, needed to watch her steps otherwise she'd fall to the bottom. The three of them turned to continue up to the third floor, and Aurora stopped, turning to them.

"Is Cassian staying with Az?" She called out. Nesta looked over her shoulder with glossy eyes that meant she was nearly about to hit the floor out of exhaustion.

"Yes, they're up in Az's room," she responded before Gwyn began tugging her and Emerie up the stairs. Aurora sighed and turned to her own bedroom. She pushed the door open and immediately let her shoes hit the floor, her dress not far behind. Stumbling far too much, Aurora went to the bathing chamber. She grabbed a rag and wet it beneath the hot water, then began scrubbing off the makeup Nesta had done on her. Her stomach and heart fell with every wipe, the glittering beauty falling away with the rag. She looked like herself, looked average compared to the two past lovers of her mate.

Aurora hated how she fought tears over something so silly. She was a warrior, she had fought in battles much more difficult than looking at herself in the mirror, so why was it so difficult to think of herself compared to Gwyn or Elain? She'd hated herself before, not long ago, when she had crawled from the depths of her personal hell and was nothing but skin stretched over frail bones. In the past months, she'd grown muscle and healthy fat in the right places, and Aurora had loved that feeling more than anything, but now, when she thought of Gwyn or Elain beneath Azriel, she felt as if she was back in that time when she'd avoid anything reflective and when food made her sick.

A sob jumped from Aurora's throat and she clasped her hands over her mouth, eyes wide and sparkling with tears as they roamed the mirror. Her bare body, littered with scars and rough skin. Aurora closed her eyes and turned away from the mirror. She held her trembling hands over her mouth as she opened her eyes and blinked away the tears, looking up at the ceiling. It had been so long since she cried, so much she had gone through, and somehow the insecurity of her mate's past lovers was enough to send her into a spiral.

Aurora wheezed as she pushed the air from her lungs. She stumbled to the bedroom and grabbed a pair of underwear and tugged them on. She scrambled for the tunic that Azriel had left beside her bed the night before last and pulled it over. It fell to her mid thigh, and that was a comfort. His scent over her body, his clothing draped over her. Aurora tugged her wild hair from the back of the shirt and let it fall over her shoulders. Her nails scraped against her face as she pushed the front pieces behind her ear and marched to the door.

She had never spent a night in Azriel's room, but all she wanted was his arm wrapped around her. Aurora closed her door softly and began padding up to the third floor. She knew this was where Nesta and Cassian's room was, so she'd guessed Azriel's would be, too. She felt stray tears making their way down her cheeks as she looked at each door, wondering which ones held her love. She looked at the second door from the stairs, and something about it told her that Azriel was inside.