It's A Hard Knock Life

Chapter 26

It was mid March. Hayley was getting closer to getting back in the ring. Her knee had fully healed and she'd been training. She was just waiting for a confirmed return date. She'd just started recording for a house tour.

"Hello and welcome, I'm Sarah Draven." Hayley said. "I know a lot of you have been asking for a tour of the new house." "That's what we're doing today, followed by me answering your questions from the previous video." "I know you guys love it when Darby's in videos with me, but sorry guys he's not home." "He's been gone for the last three days on a skating trip." "I miss him but he'll be home tomorrow, I can't wait." "Anyway I thought we would start in the second upstairs bathroom." That was where she was. She turned around. "This is the bathroom that Darby and I use because it's closest to our bedroom." "As you can see we have his and hers sinks." She went over to her sink. "This is my sink." "We have our own medicine cabinets." She opened her cabinet. "Not much to show, just my feminine products." She closed it and went over to Sam's sink. "This is Darby's sink." She opened his cabinet. "He has some of his face paint in here, razors, shaving cream, a Peroxide bottle." She closed the cabinet. "For those of you who don't know, Darby isn't a natural blonde." "He dyes his hair." "His natural hair color is brown." "I've seen pictures and videos of him with brown hair, I think he looks cute but he likes the blonde."

Hayley was downstairs on the couch answering questions.

"Next question." Hayley said. "How is your recovery going?" "It's going well." She said knowing she couldn't say to much. "I hope to be back in the ring very, very soon." She smiled at the next question. "Will you and Darby just get married already please?" "As we always say." "We might, someday." "I don't wear jewelry." She said holding up both of her hands. "The only time I ever had, was when I was engaged and married last time." "So, if Darby ever does propose to me, you'll know."

The next afternoon Sam walked through the door.

"I'm home." He said. She got up from the couch and went over to him. They hugged and kissed.

"Did you have fun?"

"Yeah it's good to be home." "Later I'm going to try this chip." "It's supposed to be the hottest chip in the world." "You're supposed to see how long you can last without milk or ice cream."

"Can I put it on my channel?"

"Yeah."

Later that night Hayley and Sam were in the kitchen sitting at the table. A gallon of milk was in front of Sam.

"Hello, welcome I'm Sarah Draven and Darby will be taking the... She looked at him. "What's it called again baby?"

"The Paqui One Chip Challenge."

"Right." "It comes in a coffin-shaped box." She said holding the box up for the camera. She flipped the box over. "Listen to what's in it." "Blue Corn, Sunflower and/or Safflower Oil, Carolina Reaper Pepper, Scorpion Chile Pepper, and Sea Salt." She rolled her eyes. "Can someone in the comments please remind me why I'm in love with this crazy fucker?" Sam laughed. "The goal is to see how long you can last without drinking any milk." "I'm gonna put my phone on stopwatch mode, when Darby's ready, I'll start the timer and he has to eat the whole chip." She handed him the box. He took it out of the coffin and packaging. "Honey, that chip is black."

"I know, I can see it."

She picked up her phone. "Ready?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, go." She started the timer. He ate the chip and swallowed it. "How are you doing?"

"It's hot but it's not that bad." Fifteen seconds passed. It was beginning to burn Sam's mouth, throat and stomach. His eyes were starting to water and he was start to sweat. "Hey, give me a kiss."

"No."

"Why not?" "I love you." "Fuck!" He yelled as the pain was going from a burning to feeling like his insides were on fire.

"Forty-five seconds."

"That's it?"

"Yeah."

"Jesus Christ!"

"Take a drink."

"Not yet, whoo, fuck!" He began to pant.

"Are you ok?" He didn't answer. "A minute." He didn't know who much longer he could hold on. Every second felt like an eternity. "Minute and a half." He felt like he was about to crack. "Two minutes." As soon as she said that he picked up the gallon of milk and took a big swig, swishing it around in his mouth. He got up from the table, with the milk jug in his hand and spit the milk from his mouth in the sink.

"How do you feel?"

"Like someone set my insides on fire."

"Wash your hands." He did. As he took another sip of milk and swished it around, he went over to his jacket on the back of the chair and took out another coffin box. He put it on the table. "You're not doing another one."

He went back over to the sink and spit out the milk. "That's for you."

"Fuck you, I'm not eating that."

"Come on."

"No."

"Please." He said as he continued sipping and spitting out milk.

"No."

"You guys wanna see her do it don't you?" He said looking at the camera. "I'll time you." "See if you can last as long as me."

"Alright, fine." "I want different milk though."

"Ok." He got another gallon from the fridge. She opened the chip. He got her phone. "Ready?"

"Yeah."

"Go."

She ate the chip. Just like Sam for the first fifteen seconds or so, she hardly felt anything. Then it began to intensify. "Oh god, oh god fuck!" She yelled.

"Boy I normally don't hear that unless we're... He smirked.

"For making me eat this, we never are again, ow!

"Thirty."

"I'm breaking up with you when this is over." "Oh shit!" She ran over to the trashcan and threw up. He stopped the timer.

"Thirty-five."

"Turn off the camera." He did.

They'd spent the night taking turns throwing up in the bathroom. It was two o'clock in the morning. She was just coming back to bed from throwing up. She was holding her stomach.

"I know, mine's killing me to." Sam said as she got back into the bed. "Come here." She snuggled up to him. He kissed her. "I'm sorry, I feel bad."

"It's ok." "I think we can say that since we've started dating, you've been a big influence on me."

"Yeah." "This is what's surprised me the most." He said holding up her hand with the tattoo. "I know before you started dating me, you never would've gotten a tattoo."

"No I wouldn't." "I love it though." "It's almost as good as a...

"A wedding ring?"

"Yeah."

"Well you know what we always say."

"We might, someday." They both said at the same time. They kissed.

"I love you Sam."

"I love you too Hayley."