Evan Peters Imagines and One Shots

You'll Always Come First 18+- Kai Anderson

"Maybe you should get something- I'll give you my discount," Ellie insisted.

"Nah, I'm good," I assured her, "But thanks for the offer."

"If you say so," she shrugged, "Oh- hot guy staring at you at 4 o'clock, don't make it obvious."

I quickly turned my head. I felt something pop, but she was right. A blue-haired gentleman bit his lip as he sized me up by the dildo wall, but his placement worried me. I turned back to look at my friend.

"Ow," I whined.

"Dumbass, that's what you get," Ellie sighed, "I said not to make it obvious."

"Have you seen him in here before," I asked Ellie.

"Never in my life," she said.

"Nice, so he's not regular here," I nodded, "Good to know. I'm a little worried about why he's holding that 6-inch, though."

"Same, like is he buying it for a girlfriend, boyfriend, or himself- do you know how fucked up it would be to be eyefucking someone while buying your girl a toy," Ellie babbled, "And how the fuck did you just calculate the size from over here? I can't even do that, and I work here."

"Maybe it's a prank gift," I continued, "Or maybe he's got a wedding to attend. What if the bride secretly hates her husband? It's better than encouraging her to cheat."

"Maybe you should go over there and talk to him," she laughed, "Maybe he'll be lucky number one."

I punched her in the arm. She said it so loudly that the entire shop heard her.

"Oop- the lucky number one," our friend, Tony, said as he slid into the conversation, "Y/n, are you a virgin?"

"Might as well be," Ellie said, "Every guy she's ever slept with has failed to make her cum."

"What," Tony gasped, "You've never cum, that's why you're so angry- always growing like dog and shit..."

"Ellie, stop telling my business," I growled, "And I am not angry- I do not growl."

"See, Y/n, you're growling now," Ellie chuckled, "Thank God, I don't have that problem in the words of Tove Lo 'Bitches, I don't trust them, but they give me what I want for the night.'"

"Pussy power, " Tony encouraged.

"I hate you both," I sighed.

"You need to hate your exes," Tony started, "They got you walking around all dissatisfied, so now you're taking it out on us."

"Fine, I'm getting something so you guys can shut up," I lied.

"Yay, I'm coming to help you," Tony exclaimed.

Tony and I walked over to the penis section of the store. It was very diverse, I never knew what an alien's cock looked like until I stepped foot in that store, and frankly, I wish I never knew.

"Okay, let's see, how about a 4-inch," Tony called out.

"That won't do shit," I informed.

"7-inch."

"Sounds a little more promising."

"12-inch," Tony smirked as he looked in my direction.

"Fuck no, my mind still hasn't recovered from that guy you set me up with last year," I reminded him.

"I still can't believe you went through with that," Tony joked, "I salute you, bitch."

"Fuck off," I spat.

"Well, since you wanna be rude," Tony declared, "You can figure it out yourself."

I rolled my eyes as Tony walked away, twisting his hips with each step. I kept telling him that his 'model walk' prevented him from being signed, but who listened to me? As I skimmed over the many phalli' on the wall, the fine man walked in my direction.