thirty-eight

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namjoon stared as he watched mr.kang place a kiss on yoongi's cheek. as namjoon watched this, he realized he never had a chance with yoongi.

he wasn't as beautiful as mr.kang.

mr.kang was athletic, his body had to be one of the most prominent and most attractive features. he had strong legs and a small waist that would make anyone fall in love. mr.kang had beautiful hair, like the one of a shampoo ad.

not only was mr.kang athletic and beautiful, but he was talented.

he was great at everything he did. he was a natural all-rounder. namjoon wish he could name something mr.kang didn't shine at.

yoongi was the exact same. he had the body of everyone's dreams. his facial features could make anyone fall in love. his eyes turned into crescents when he smiled, he walked like a model everywhere he went, he ran his hands over his hair all the time which made him look even better, and not to mention, he was also good at everything he did, just like mr.kang.

compared to mr.kang, namjoon was a nobody.

he wasn't athletic. in fact, he was the complete opposite of athletic. he wasn't good at running, let alone shooting basketballs into hoops. he knew he couldn't participate in whatever intensive sports mr.kang was involved in.

namjoon wasn't handsome like mr.kang. he wasn't even half as handsome as mr.kang. the tall boy knew he would never be pretty enough for yoongi. yoongi was way out of his league.

but gosh darn it, he liked yoongi so much. he thought about yoongi all the time and was constantly reminded of him in his every day life. wanting yoongi to like him back was as unachievable as his attempt to run a mile in 10 minutes (in hopes to become as athletic as mr.kang).

why couldn't he be good enough? why couldn't he just be pretty enough? why couldn't he just be athletic—?

namjoon woke up in cold sweat to his loud alarm. he breathed out and turned off his alarm.

he knew it was a dream, but it felt too realistic. way too realistic. it was so vivid that now namjoon was standing in front of his full-body mirror to scan for his flaws.

he huffed as he looked at himself. it was a tiring task. eventually, he realized he had an orthodontist appointment and began getting ready because looking at himself was a tragic event.

namjoon showed up to work with a smoothie to help his aching teeth. he would talk to yoongi, but his dream felt so vivid that he was scared that it would actually happen.

he sighed as he typed on his computer. today's email was a parent concerned with the amount of plants he had in his class. respectively, 6 years of college education never prepared him for a conversation this stupid.

namjoon showed a tight smile seeing yoongi walk in with a big smile on his face, "g'morning, joon" he said, sitting across namjoon, "morning, yoongi. how's your morning?"

"it's great! i woke up to holly next to me! it was the cutest thing ever! let me show you a picture" he smiled, searching through his phone for the pictures he had taken that morning.

namjoon nodded, a small smile appearing on his face as he saw the pictures, "he's adorable" he said, yoongi nodded, putting his phone away. he studied namjoon's facial expression.

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