Out Of My Reach

Silent Pain

"Lonely's a different kind of pain, it doesn't hurt as bad as heartbreak. I preferred it and embraced it 'cause I reckoned it was one or the other." —Kristen Ashley

They got home after an hour. Jin followed Taehyung as he went to his room. Jin stood calmly in front of Taehyung as he sat on the bed with a dejected expression on his face.

"Tae, what's wrong?" After a minute or two", Jin questioned.

"Jin, nothing. So, shall we go to bed now that it is late?" Taehyung asked Jin while feigning a smile.

"Why didn't you kiss me back there?". Jin inquired while sitting next to Taehyung on the bed.

Taehyung took off his shoes and stated, "I am simply surprised that you kissed me in the presence of everyone out of the blue."

Taking off his leather jacket, Jin replied, "Tae, I'm aware when you are lying."

"Why didn't you tell me that Minho had returned and the fact that you had previously met him?" Taehyung remarked angrily

"I happened to run into him on Monday at the café. I'm sorry; I should have let you know, but we are so happy this week and I don't want to jeopardize that by mentioning my past". Holding Taehyung's hand, Jin remarked

"So you met him before you told me you loved me?" Taehyung inquired.

"Yes, and I also told him to stay away from me as well", Jin answered with a smile.

"God, oh God. I'm so gullible. You confessed your love to me in order to enrage Minho, correct? You're using me to get back at him". Taehyung said as he removed Jin's hold on his hands.

"No, Tae why are you assuming things" Jin said shocked

"I'm not making any assumptions, Jin. I'm cautious because I know how deeply you love Minho and that after you suddenly confessed your love for me, your ex-boyfriend returned at the same moment. So, are you just messing with my emotions or is this all just a coincidence?" Taehyung said coldly.

"I wouldn't ever act towards you that way, Tae". Jin cried as he said, "I truly love you".

"Jin, if you intend to go back to Minho, I won't hold you back. You don't need to act as if you love me because I know how much he means to you". While holding back his emotions, Taehyung said grinning at Jin.

"Why don't you believe me Tae," Jin murmured, sobbing and hugging Taehyung.

"I love my parents, but they passed away when I was ten years old, leaving only hyung and me by ourselves. Since that day, I have never genuinely been joyful. Simply said, I'm worried you'll leave me now that he's back. You know Jin, I've been extremely happy being together with you over the past couple of weeks. I am aware of the fact that I am not the husband you planned on having. To you, I'm merely a choice. But you, Jin, have always been the one for me. There isn't anyone I have loved more than you. Considering the fact that you have been together with Minho for four years, I'm sure you would pick him over me if the choice were between us". Taehyung stated while turning his gaze away from Jin.

"Tae, look at me. I'm not leaving you nor pretending to be in love with you to make Minho envious. I no longer love him as much as I once did. He now makes me feel disgusting, and I hate being with him. I really love you, and I'm always going to be at your side whenever you need me. Your love for me is so much greater than mine. However, I'll work harder to prove to you that I also love you a lot more than you think. Sincerely, baby, you have ruined my desire for any other guys". Jin chuckled and caressed Taehyung's face.

"Please don't leave me alone, baby" Taehyung stated while closely holding Jin.

"You can't easily get rid of me Tae, you're stuck with me forever." Jin comforted him by patting his back.

After changing clothes and heading to bed, they continued holding one another. Jin is unable to sleep. He then began to stroke Tae's hair as he recalled their earlier converse, which made him aware that his lover had endured numerous hardships yet maintained a public façade of happiness and joy. Only when Taehyung gets drunk does he reveal his true emotions; otherwise, he always pretends to be happy. Jin thought back about his husband's boxy grins, which he found incredibly charming. He slowly fell asleep while lying on Taehyung's chest listening to his calm heartbeat. The next morning, Taehyung woke up with a terrible headache and he was truly thankful that it is a Sunday and he didn't have to go to work. Jin arrived and greeted Tae while holding two mugs of coffee.

When Taehyung wakes up, his voice appears to be raspier as he says, "Morning baby."

Jin handed his coffee to him and added, "Here's yours."

Taehyung remarked, drinking his coffee, "Thanks, baby." Jin, who was seated next to him on the bed, instructed him to take his headache medication after drinking some coffee.

"How are you feeling, baby?" Taehyung worriedly enquired of Jin.

"I'm good, I wasn't a big drinker". Jin chuckled.

Taehyung inquired, leaving his empty cup of coffee on the table, "So, baby, how do you plan to spend the rest of the day?" while pulling Jin towards him by gripping his waist.

Jin continued, keeping his hands around Taehyung's neck, "Well, I have a lot of things on my mind Mr. Kim, but the most important of them is to kiss you.