Back to us | Alexia Putellas

Compromising.

The last few games of the season flew by, Jordi and I attended Ale's home games, but we decided as a family that it wasn't worth us travelling to the away games as it wasn't even guaranteed that she would get any minutes.

The summer break came around in the blink of an eye, we decided to skip our Ibiza trip this year, Jordi was still so little and there was a World Cup around the corner that we needed to mentally prepare for. Through the ten months that Ale was out with her injury, she had tried to convince herself that she wouldn't make the World Cup squad, but I think we both knew that she would be on that plane whether she was one hundred percent fit or not. She was their leader, 2-time Balon d'Or winner, and Fifa best... she was going to the World Cup.

The day of the squad announcement came and we were both nervous, it was huge, not just for Ale, but for us as a family. The phone call came at about 10 am,  she answered nervously, her hands shaking as she listened to the coach on the other end of the line, but a huge smile soon spread across her face and she was muttering thank you over and over again.

"I'm in!" She smiled as soon as she hung up the phone, throwing herself across the sofa towards me and enveloping me in her arms.

"I knew you would be" I mumbled into her shoulder, wrapping my arms around her back tightly.

"Mama's going to the World Cup Jordi!" Ale squealed excitedly, getting up from the sofa and picking Jordi out of his bouncer, carefully spinning around with him in her arms.

We celebrated as just the three of us for a while before Jordi went for a nap. Ale excitedly called around her family, letting them know the news before the squad was announced later in the day. She was over the moon and had been practically buzzing around the house since she got the phone call. I didn't feel the same excitement though, I was apprehensive and anxious about what it meant for Jordi and I. She would be traveling to the other side of the world for what could be up to six weeks if they did well and the thought of being on my own with our 5-month-old son for that long was scary, but the thought of doing all of it on the other side of the world was even scarier.

"What's going on in that head of yours" She asked, wrapping her arms around my waist from behind as I stood at the sink washing Jordi's bottles.
"You don't look happy cariño"

"It's nothing, I've just got a bit of a headache that's all" I made up an excuse for my quiet demeanor, not wanting to have this conversation right now and ruin all of her excitement.

"Isabel Putellas, I know when you're lying... talk to me" She spoke softly, placing a gentle kiss on my neck.

"I don't think we can come" I mumbled, knowing that even though it was going to be hard, I had to be honest when it came to how I was feeling, even if what I had to say would upset her.

...and it did.

Her grip around me suddenly loosened and she stepped back from where she was stood. I immediately turned around and the look on her face was pure disappointment, she was hurt.

"Ale, I'm sorry... I thought it would be easier once he got a bit older, but he's still so little, and it's so far away. Flying for nearly 24 hours with a 5-month-old... I don't know if I can do it" I explained, reaching for her hand, she didn't pull away as I expected her to, but she definitely didn't hold mine back.

"I really want you there carino...  both of you" She said softly, the emotion clear in her voice.

"I know and I want to be there, but I don't know if I'll be able to look after him on my own out there without all of our support systems to help me. You'll be busy and I'm not used to being a parent on my own yet, I can just about manage when we are here, in our house with everything that he needs"