39 : The picture

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I have been staring at this god forsaken photo for an hour trying to figure out what I should do, the photo in question is a candid photo of Logan - the guy I am supposedly exclusive friends and benefits with - and a blonde girl who is sitting on his lap, her hair is in mid action so she is probably bouncing on him which is disgusting and he is smiling fucking smiling. The worst part is not the fact that he is smiling it's the fact that she is the total opposite of me, white blonde hair, full curves and confidence that I can smell from over the phone.

The text rolled in an hour ago from an unknown number and I keep on reading the message again and again until I can basically tell you what it says from heart.

Unknown number: **image
Unknown number: you really thought you meant anything, whore.

For the first 45 minutes I spent my time crying because I really really fucking like Logan and then I spent the next fifteen minutes sitting in silence.

It's twelve am and I can hear the front door open and voices pour in, my heart beats faster as I sit up.

"Gracie" Logan slurs from my doorway, he is visibly heavily intoxicated and I scoff at him as I start getting up from my bed and taking a duffel bag from my dresser.

"I misseddd you" Logan continues, I open my drawer and start putting shirts,underwear and bras inside the duffel.

"What the fuck is this Logan" I say finally having enough of his bullshit and shoving my phone in his face.

"That's me and a really fucking annoying blonde" he says placing his hands on my waist, I immediately shove them off and his face turns into a frown. I take my duffel and move to my bathroom and start to slide everything into it, Logan follows behind quickly.

"So that's why your smiling down at her, you told me that you would tell me when you wanted to see other people. Was that bullshit. You took me on fucking dates, was all that bullshit too" I scream, that seems to sober him up enough.

"Gracie what are you doing" he asks quietly, almost like a whisper.

"Leaving" I shout zipping up my bag and making my way towards the door of my bedroom.

"Don't do this Gracie, nothing happened. The camera caught a bad time" he defends, I huff out a breath and run down the stairs, tears stream down my face as I carry a broken heart.

"Gracie!" Logan shouts
"Everything with us was real, everything" he shouts after me and I can see his tear stained cheeks

"Did you wait until you could have sex with me and then you got bored and moved on" I scream at him not caring if I woke up the entire house,

"What the fuck " someone says behind me, I turn around quickly and see JJ standing there wide eyed and drunk. Hopefully drunk enough to forget about this.

"No Gracie, don't say that. I would never do that to you" Logan says actually looking sincere, for a second I want to sit here and talk to him, listen to him but then I remember the photo and the heartbreak I felt when I saw it.

"I don't know what you would do for me anymore" I shout out before turning my back and walking out the door, I hear Logan shout my name as I run faster down the side walk at 12:30am, I don't stop running until I get Logan's voice out of my head, I pull out my contacts and scroll until I find one person who is bound to be awake right now.

Me: Hey sorry for late text but can you pick me up right now, emergency.

Luke: On my way, text address

Seven minutes later Luke's Audi pulls up beside me on the road even though he lives in the next town over which is a thirty minute drive which probably means he was already here, I get in quickly and let out a breath once I feel the warm heater of the car envelope me.

I can feel Luke's stare on me, probably with so many questions and worries because I have no doubt I look like a sobbing mess, my eyes red and my face blotchy.
"Maybel dorms, can you take me there" I whisper,


"Please" I cut him off, he looks at me one last time before turning the car around and driving off, away.

My head falls to my hands as the image keeps circling my brain, my thoughts.

"Gracie, Gracie. Wake up" someone is shoving me, I open my eyes slightly to see Luke shoving me awake.

I take in my surroundings and sit up, he is parked outside the dorms, I look at the clock in the car to see 1am flashing.

"Thanks Luke, thank you so much" I give him a side hug before opening my door and walking towards the entrance of the dorms.

I stop at the main door and put in Lizzie's code which I still remember from sophomore year, it buzzes letting me in. Just as the door is about to swing close Luke slides in.

"What are you doing?! This is an all girl dorm!" I whisper-yell at him

"The receptionist knows me-" he says that part winking, "plus I'm not letting you walk to your friends dorm alone at midnight, what if she's not awake" he says making a point, I grab his wrist and we make our way towards the stairs to Lizzie's dorm.

"This is her dorm, you can go" I tell him

"I'm not going until I know your fine" he huffs out crossing his arms, I ring her doorbell twice knowing she is still awake.

"WHAT- Gracie?" A adorable sleepy Lizzie comes to the door, she is wearing a tank top and shorts even though it's December. Her long blonde hair is put in a messy bun on the top of her head and she is wearing big framed glasses, something she never wears anymore.

"Can I stay with you?" I say, I'm sure she can tell by my face that I have been crying.

"Of course, come here" she says with a small smile, she pulls me into a hug and I want to collapse.

"I'm Luke" luke says from the doorway, his face is flushed and I think he might have a crush.

"I'm gonna ask you tomorrow why Luke Beckett was at our door" Lizzie says eyeing Luke carefully, "come on you need to sleep."

I turn to look at Luke and wave him goodbye before the door closes, Lizzie brings me to her room and lays me down on her double bed.

It doesn't feel anything like how Logan feels like, Logan is - was - a better pillow.

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