Just the two of us (book 2)

Chapter 21 Please

2 weeks later..

Me and Kevin are doing a little better but I think it's because we've been so busy helping Rachel with the moving that Kevin somehow forgot to be that angry with me. Unfortunately it hasn't really given me a chance to talk to Rachel about my realization about my choice so that's why I'm heading over to her now.
"Do you need me to come with you?" Kevin asks me.
"No I think me and Rachel need some alone time." I reject his offer politely and walks towards the door.
"I miss you Amelia." I hear Kevin say behind me which makes me turn around to look at him. What does that mean? He misses me? I'm right here.
"What?" I ask him confused.
"I miss you. We haven't had sex since you came home from Detroit and we barely talk to each other only when we're at Rachel." He says. Is he kidding me? It's him who has been distance and angry at me, now I really don't know what to say because my feelings ain't that strong for him anymore.
"Well.. It was you who has pushed me away Kevin." I remind him.
"I know and I'm sorry but.. I was angry." He says.
"Can we talk about this later? I'm in a hurry." I say and I head out of the door not even caring to hear his answer. Kevin annoys me and he has fucked everything up between us, right now I just stay until I have a plan B or he breaks up with me, lately I've actually wondered if I shouldn't just move back to LA and run the club there.

I arrive at Rachel's and we immediately sit down for a cup of tea. Rachel is doing so good here and she's doing so good with the whole divorce situation.
"So how is it going sweetie?" Rachel asks me.
"I don't think me and Kevin is gonna get married." I tell her and I can see that it doesn't really surprise her.
"Because of Marshall?" She asks me.
"No or yeah he has something to do with it too but we haven't talked for like 3 weeks but I think I've made a mistake Rachel." I tell her.
"What do you mean honey?"
"I shouldn't had stayed with Kevin when I came home from Detroit. Marshall is the one I should be with and I knew that but I wasn't thinking clearly, Marshall's life scares me and that's one of the reasons I chose Kevin but now I would do everything to get Marshall to talk to me but I think I really screwed up this time." I say as I begin to cry.
"He'll come around sweetie." Rachel tries to comfort me.
"I don't think so. I talked to Deshaun in about 2 weeks ago and I told him to call me next time they're in New York so I can go to his studio and talk to him, but I'm positive that he won't nothing to do with me and I can't blame him, I acted like we were a couple that week and then I just threw him out like trash." I tell Rachel. I can't believe that I screwed up this bad between me and Marshall, right now I honestly don't know how I can ever make it right between us again. How could I be this stupid? I've always known he's the one, I never got over him so how could I possibly think I could marry Kevin?
"You just have to show him that you're serious honey, one thing is sure, he's not gonna believe you as long as you're with Kevin." She says. I know that she's right but if I break up with Kevin right now then I won't have any place to stay, I won't have a job and I'm not even sure that Rachel is gonna have a home anymore. Kevin has always treated me well but I know him well enough that if I break his heart then he won't be nice.
"I know but it's not that simple." I sigh.
"Why not? It's not fair towards Kevin that you don't wanna be with him but you still are." She says.
"Kevin is the type a guy if he gets his heart broken then he's gonna do everything to break the person who did it." I tell her. I know he did it with his ex girlfriend when she left him, he kicked her out so she has no place to stay and he didn't show her mercy.
"You can always stay here honey." She offers. I don't know how to tell her that it might not be an option if he decides to hurt me in any possible way. Now when I think about it then it was a really bad idea to bet my whole life on him like this, but nothing would be broken if Marshall hadn't showed up after all these years.
My conversation gets interrupted by my phone, I look at the display and it's Deshaun and I now know it's time. I excuse myself and pick up the phone.