Just the two of us (book 2)

Chapter 95 A trip down memory lane

I get into Marshall's car and non of us say anything as I get in. I don't wanna say anything and I think Marshall is getting awkward at this point and then he doesn't know how to break the ice. Marshall begins to drive and one of 50 cent's song "back down" plays. I refuse to be the one who speaks first because he's the one who wants a second chance so I don't understand why he isn't saying anything.
"I'm glad that you agreed to this." He finally speaks but I don't even know what to say so I just don't say anything. "You know how awkward I get when you give me the cold shoulder Amelia, please just talk to me."
"Where are we going?" I just ask ignoring what he just said because I can see that we're not driving in the direction of his house.
"I just want to drive around for awhile, if that's cool with you?"
"It's fine." I say and look out of the window. Actually, it's perfect because I don't wanna go to his house, it reminds me too much of us.
"The kids wouldn't stop asking questions about you the other day." Marshall then says. It hurts that he's gonna talk about the kids now because I feel so much love for them already.
"What did you tell them?" I ask coldly as I still look out of the window.
"I just told them that you had to go back to New York for a few days." He says and again I don't say anything. "I know that you're pissed and I get that but it's gonna be hard to communicate with you when you're like that."
"You wanted this." I just say.
"Yeah because I know that you still love me Amelia and I know that I can make it up to you but you gotta let me." He says and he sounds so desperate.
"You make it sound so fucking easy." I mumble angrily.
"I know it ain't easy." He sighs.
"Then how can you expect me to do it?" I ask and I'm now looking at him for the first time. He looks so good in his black sweatpants and white tank top that really shows his tattoos and he's wearing a cap, I love when he's wearing caps, actually I love when he's wearing outfits like this and I know he wears it today because I like it. Me.. I look like a fucking bump, I have some sweatpants on as well, a tight top, a pair of Nike shoes and my hair is in a messy bun. I didn't make any effort today because I don't want him to think that I want to look good for him.
"I don't expect you to, I just want you to try." He says softly. Again I don't say anything, I just look out of the window again. Slowly I can see that we get nearby our old neighborhood and the hood that we used to hang out in. I have so many good memories here with the boys and Tasha and it reminds me of all the good times I had here in Detroit. "Do you remember when Raymond lived in there?" Marshall asks and points out the apartment building where Raymond used to live. You always knew that Raymond had a party so if you had nothing to do on the weekends then you could for sure crash his party.
"Yeah." I say.
"Do you remember when Bizzy came in with water pistols filled with booze?" He asks me and I look at Marshall who's smiling and I can't help but smiling at the memory myself.
"He really fired up in that party." I giggle.
"He felt like the fucking king that night." Marshall chuckles.
"He kinda was, people got so waisted because he had stolen all that booze from the liquor store." I say smiling.
"He was so fucking good at stealing man." Marshall laughs.
"It was a good thing that he started doing music or else Detroit would've been dry." I say.
"Yeah." Marshall chuckles.
"Wasn't it also the night that Deshaun ended up with that crazy chick?" I ask suddenly remembering the crazy bitch that ended up getting in my face because she thought I was hitting on Deshaun. "What was it her name was?"
"Oh yeah, the one who hit you, right?" Marshall chuckles.
"Yes, what was her name? He could barely get rid of her." I say.
"Eh... Sally, wasn't it?" Marshall asks.
"Sally, that's right! She was crazy!" I laugh.
"Marcus actually ended up knocking her up." Marshall tells me.
"Marcus? Marcus from New Years?" I ask to be sure that it's that Marcus who I kissed with at New Years and Marshall ended up beating up.
"Yeah, that Marcus." Marshall confirms.
"So they're a couple now?" I ask.
"No I think they split a few years ago." Marshall shrugs.
"That's crazy." I say and look out of the window. We're now driving down a street, also a street where we used to hang and I now recognize a house, the house where me and Marshall first started talking.
"Do you remember that house?" Marshall asks me.
"I got lost at that party and you pulled me outside." I say smiling.
"Lucas got so pissed at me because you were smoking." Marshall chuckles.
"I thought you were so mysterious." I say looking at him now and he smiles.
"I thought you were so fucking beautiful." Marshall says.
"No you just wanted to fuck me." I laugh.
"I also wanted to fuck you but from the moment I saw you, I just knew that you weren't just a girl that a guy could fuck, you were a girl who was easy to fall in love with." Marshall says. I look at him shortly and then I look out of the window again, I suddenly feel all shy and it also pisses me off at the same time because I don't want him to have this influence on me with after what he's done. I don't say anything even though that I think it's sweet but I don't want him to think that he can just smother me like that. I suddenly spot a guy and I quickly see that it's Nate walking with some girl.
"Hey, isn't that Nate over there?" I ask Marshall.
"What the fuck is he doing here? He was suppose to be at my mom's." Marshall mumbles and pulls over. Marshall rolls my window down and whistle loudly after Nate which makes him and the girl turn around and walk over to the car.
"What's up brow?" Nate asks.
"Weren't you suppose to be at mom's?" Marshall asks.
"Yeah I am.. I mean.. I'm just out with Amy." He says which is apparently the girl's name.
"You know I like to know where you are Nate." Marshall says in such a parent voice.
"Yeah.. We're just going for a walk." Nate sighs and you can tell that Nate thinks that Marshall is up in his ass right now.
"What is mom doing?" Marshall asks.
"She's over at Margaret's." Nate says.
"Alright." Marshall says. "I'll see you tomorrow night, right?"
"Yeah." Nate says.
"Bye Nate." I say smiling.
"Bye Amelia." He says smiling and Marshall continues to drive again.
"Damn.. If someone had been up in your ass like that in your age." I comment on his strict way of handling that situation.
"If someone would've been up in my ass like that then I wouldn't had failed 9th grade three times." Marshall fires back.
"He was just out with a girl." I point out.
"But I've caught him doing all kind of shit while he was at my mom's." Marshall says.
"He's a teenager." I defend him.
"Amelia.. Please.. Can we not talk about all that shit now?" He sighs. It pisses me off that he shuts down every time it has something to do with Nathan or his mom.
"You won't never talk about it." I push it.
"No exactly. So could you please respect that?" He says irritated.
"Maybe it's for the best that I ended it when you don't feel like you can talk to me anyways." I say.
"What is there to talk about? You know how she fucking is Amelia!" He raises his voice at me now.
"If you're intending to yell at me then you can just drive me back to Lucas." I say.
"No.. I'm sorry. I just.. I just don't like to talk about it and it has nothing to do with you." Marshall says.
"But you get so angry and mean towards me every time." I say.
"I'm sorry." He says and looks at me. "I really am." I just turn my head and look out of the window again. "I just wanna enjoy this day with you." He says.
"Hm." I just mumble.
"I said I was sorry." He sighs.
"Yes I heard you." I say.
"Then why are you like that again?" He asks.
"Because I'm still hurt Marshall." I say and look at him. "Just because you talk about old memories and make me forget about all the shit for a moment, then it doesn't mean that I'm not still hurt and angry."
"I know baby but.."
"Don't call me that, you lost your right to call me that." My voice breaks now.
"I can't help it. No matter what then you're still my girl." He sighs and I still don't say anything. "Do you remember that time where you hit me? We had been at that party and you got into an argument with Kim.."
"I remember." I cut him off.
"Man you were so sexy and I couldn't even be mad at you." He chuckles.
"What's your point Marshall?" I ask annoyed.
"I'd rather have you kick my ass right now because that would hurt less." He says and I look at him with a very angry look.
"Oh sorry.. Did I hurt your feelings?" I ask sarcastically.
"It wasn't what I meant." He sighs.
"Sure it wasn't." I say and roll my eyes.
"What do you want me to do Amelia?" He sighs.
"I wanted you to stay away from me but you don't get that." I say.
"Then tell me something.. Why are you staying in Detroit and not going home to New York? Why are you staying if you have nothing left here?" He asks. Fuck.. I can't say it's because I wanted to reconsider me and him. "We both know that if you really felt like it was the end of the two of us then you wouldn't still be here." He says when I don't answer.
"Don't smother yourself Marshall." I say.
"But I'm right, ain't I?" He asks.
"No you ain't. I'm ready to go home to New York facing the reality with Rachel there." I half lie.
"But you wouldn't stay here either if you didn't have feelings for me still." He says.
"My feelings don't just go away but that doesn't mean that I'm gonna make a stupid decision." I say and I now see something familiar, a place I haven't been in a lot of years; he's taking me to our spot.
"So you think it'd be stupid to take me back?" He asks.
"Of course. You cheated." I say and I see us getting closer to the hill. "We're going to our spot, ain't we?"
"Yeah.. I wanna show you something." He says. We get up to our spot, a place that people never comes to and probably a place where Marshall can be alone and by himself without people bothering. Marshall immediately parks the car and gets out so I just get out as well. "I also came here after you left Detroit and I actually still come here once in a while. It keeps me calm and grounded."
"That's good." I just say.
"Walk with me." He says and we begin to walk. It's so weird not holding his hand because we always did that up here. We always came here to be alone. We didn't have money for traveling so this was our escape, it felt like we were on another planet when we came here. "Remember how we always drove up here when we were at each other's throat the most?" He asks. We always came here because then neither of us could just walk away from each other, at home it was so easy to just walk out of the door but here it was different.
"Yeah." I say.
"Amelia I never regretted anything so fucking much as I regret kissing Jenny that night." He says.
"The kiss didn't even hurt the most." I admit and Marshall looks at me confused. "It was the lies that hurt the most."
"I thought I was gonna lose you if I told you about my cheating, I thought you wouldn't trust me then." He says.
"I'm in no position of judging you for your cheating, not with what I did against Kevin." I say.
"I just seem to forget that you're a better person than other girls." He sighs and again I don't really know what to say so we just keep on walking. We walk over to a three and Marshall stops which makes me confused. I stand about 3 feet behind him as I want to keep my distance. "Do you remember this three?"
"No." I say confused.
"You don't?" He asks like I really should remember this three and I shake my head no. "Come over here." I walk over to him and look at the three, I feel so stupid until Marshall bends down and point at some engraved text on three. Now I remember! Me and Marshall engraved our names into the three. I squat down and begin to touch it because I can't believe that it's still here; Amelia + Marshall 4ever. I remember that day. We came up here after one of our really bad fights, Marshall was pissed at me because he was jealous over some guy at some party. I made promises to him, I promised him that I would never leave him and that I would never stop loving him, Marshall wanted to make it official in some way so that's where the idea came up with engraving our names into the three.
"We left the party because you were about to beat up some guy that flirted with me." I say still touching our names on the three.
"You promised that you would never stop loving me." He says and squats down next to me. "Isn't it crazy that we're here together proving that we still love each other?"
"Marshall stop." I begin to cry now. I see what he's doing, he takes me down memory lane to soften me up.
"I know that I have to prove a lot of things because of what I did but I just want you. I've never loved a girl like I love you and I kissed Jenny because of what she told me. I know I was stupid for jumping to a conclusion but it'll never happen again. If we're just being honest with each other then we can make it." He says.
"I can't trust you." I cry.
"I know but I'm willing to prove to you that I can be trusted." He says and I now look at him. He has tears in his eyes, he's really sad I can tell because he usually doesn't cry. I lay my hand on his cheek and pull him closer to me, our lips meet.