Just the two of us (book 2)

Chapter 48 Come with me

The next day

"What are you gonna do today?" Rachel asks me as we eat breakfast. Rachel knows everything about me and Marshall's talk yesterday, it was kinda hard not to hear it with all the yelling.
"I'm not going with him." I say not even looking at her. I still don't wanna go with Marshall because I still believe that I need some space.
"Sweetie, I really think you should go." Rachel says.
"I need some space." I say.
"What are you talking about? You have your space all the time and you just had a whole week of space." Rachel pushes it.
"Don't you understand what he did Rachel? You really think that's okay?" I ask her getting really angry now.
"No but neither do I think it was okay that you visited Kevin." She fires back.
"I can't believe you're taking his side in all this." I say leaving the table.
"I don't take anyone's side, I just think you should spend some time together!" Rachel yells as I run upstairs.

I lay down on the bed again, I've been laying here for a week now and you know what? I'm not tired of it, actually I'm pretty fine with it. I'm fine with the fact that I don't need to have any human contact what so ever, if I don't have any human contact then no one can hurt me. I do miss Melissa though but I cannot handle the fact that I have to explain everything to her, so it's easier just to turn off my phone.

A few hours later it knocks on my door and I already wanna kill Rachel for disturbing me.
"Don't come in Rachel!" I warn her but the door opens anyway.
"Damn, you're just angry at the whole world, aren't you?" Marshall asks me before I get a chance to turn around to see that it's him.
"I'm not going with you Marshall." I snares and I don't even turn around to look at him. I feel Marshall laying himself down on the bed and pulling me against his body, I just feel like crying because I'm so confused about everything and I can't talk to him about it. I love him so much but it kills me inside that he had the need to hurt me that much. I know that I should stay away from Kevin, I should respect Marshall's feelings but it's hard to just throw me and Kevin's good friendship away.
"How do you expect me to make it right between us when you don't want me near you?" He asks me softly.
"I don't know." I whisper.
"I promise you that I'll give you some space, I promise you that you can throw me into the studio anytime you want when you get tired of me, I fucking promise you that I'll get out of that studio as soon as you need me again." He says. I now begin to cry and it's not specifically because of his words but just about this whole mess. "Hey, hey, hey.. Don't cry baby." He tries to comfort me as he pulls me even closer to him.
"I just have so much shit building up inside and I.." I cry and I can't even finish my sentence.
"Talk to me."
"I can't." I cry.
"Why not? We've always talked about everything." He wonders.
"This is just some of the things I can't talk to you about." I cry.
"Has it something to do with Kevin?" He asks. Why on earth would he ask me that? I'm total lost for words so I forget to answer because I don't know what to answer. "I see." Marshall then says and get out of the bed. I didn't think it would upset me that he moves away from me but it does, I turn around and see him walking towards the door.
"Marshall no.. Don't leave!" I beg which makes him turn around.
"Why not? That's what you fucking wanted."
"No I wanted space, I've never wanted you to leave." I say.
"To find out if it's me or Kevin you want? Don't worry Amelia, I'll make your choice easy this time."
"No Marshall, I want you! I've always wanted you!" I cry and I'm actually afraid that I'm gonna lose him right now. "I just want Kevin in my life as a friend, I miss him as my friend."
"You almost married the guy! Don't you see how fucked up you're being Amelia?!" He yells.
"I do! But you wanted to know what was on my mind and that's what's on my mind!" I yell. He just looks at me and non of us says anything for a few minutes, I think the ball is in his hand so that's why I'm not saying anything.
"If we're gonna fix this, you gotta come with me." He says.
"I can't." I whisper.
"Then Imma assume you're not interested in saving this relationship, so enjoy your single life Amelia." He says and grabs the doorknob.
"Marshall please.." I beg him and he stops but doesn't turn around.
"Are you coming with me?" He asks coldly.
"It was you who humiliated me, remember?"
"It was you who was at your ex fiancé's house for 4 hours without even telling me and then you couldn't even give me a fucking reasonable explanation, you just turned off your fucking phone so it's only explainable that I come up with some stories in my head Amelia, you didn't explain shit so yeah I said some shit about you in a interview but at least I can fix my shit, can you fix yours?!" He raises his voice. I just sit there looking at him not knowing what to say, what is there to say? As much as it hurts then he's right, he can fix it, he can tell the world that he didn't mean those words but I can't take back what I did, I can't fix my shit. "I just wanna know if you're coming with me to Detroit or not?" He asks me again.
"When are we leaving?" I say and my voice shakes.
"Tonight." He says and I just nod my head. "So you're coming with me?" He asks.
"Yes." I say.
"Good." He says and reaching for the doorknob once again.
"Are you leaving?" I ask him. I thought he would stay now that I agreed to go with him to Detroit.
"Yeah I'll be back tonight." He says.
"Why? I mean.. I thought you only came to New York to talk to me." I ask him.
"I thought I would pay Curtis a visit while you pack."
"Why won't you stay?" I ask him in a sad voice which makes Marshall sigh deeply.
"Are you aware of how confusing you are right now?" He asks me and I can hear that he tries to hide how irritated he is at me. "I practically have to beg you to come to Detroit with me, you tell me that you need space and when I wanna give it to you then you beg me to stay."
"I don't think you aware of how hard all this shit is for me." I confess.
"Because you don't tell me shit." He says.
"Can you not imagine how hard it is for my brain to adjusts what has happened in my life the past few months? I've gone through shit lately people go through over years. I canceled my wedding, lost everything I worked for to be with you and I'm glad I did, but I have to get use to the fact that I don't have my clubs anymore, that I don't have all the money I had and I have to get use to the fact that I have to share you with the whole world." I explain crying. Marshall walks over to me, lays himself on the bed and pulls me into his chest.
"You don't have to share me with anybody, I'm all yours baby." He tries to comfort me.
"No I have to get use to the fact that you can't always be there, or that you don't always have the time to talk to me, I'm just gotta get used to that." I cry into his chest.
"Fuck.. I'm sorry baby. I promise you that no matter what, that I'll have time to talk to you in the future, it doesn't matter if I'm in a meeting or whatever, I should always make time to talk to you whenever you need me." He comforts me.
"No Marshall." I sob and look at him. "I didn't ask you to do that, it's me who has to get use to all this."
"I know you didn't ask for it but that's how it's gonna be, alright? As long as you promise me that you'll never turn your phone off in anger again, okay?" He says and I nod my head. "Good baby." He says and kisses my forehead.
We lay in the bed for like an hour and talk a bit, we don't say many words to each other because he knows that right now I just need him to hold me.