Just the two of us (book 2)

Chapter 49 The flight

We sit down in our seats on the private jet and get ready to fly. I'm always kinda nervous to fly, it's not like I'm scared, I just get really nervous.
I feel Marshall's hand on my thigh and I look at him, we haven't talked that much on the way to the airport. I think Marshall can feel that I'm not really in the mood for talking, I'm so confused about this whole thing and I hate to fight with Marshall, but you can't really expect us not to fight when we both have a big temper. I was never used to that with Kevin because he's so calm, if I had a bad day and I just went off on him for no reason then he just took it. Me and Marshall are very a-like and I like that, I like that he gets where I'm coming from, he knows how it was to grow up the way I did, Kevin never really knew that because he's from a rich family.
"Don't be nervous babe." Marshall says. This just proves once again that he knows me so well.
"It just makes me really uncomfortable, you know." I say softly.
"Don't worry, the pilot is an excellent pilot." Marshall says and kisses on the corner of my mouth. I can't help but grab his neck when he pulls away and pull him back for a kiss, I can feel him smile against my lips, it's probably a surprise that I just did that when I've been so angry with him, but right now when I'm sitting here with his soft lips against mine, non of it matters now. The kiss turns into a long kiss and I can feel how warm my whole body is getting, not because it turns me on or anything, simply because I can feel all the love from him in just one kiss, it's one of those kisses. When I finally pull away from the kiss, Marshall just grabs my neck and pulls me back again.
"Don't stop baby." He mumbles against my lips and this time it's me who's smiling against his lips. I have no idea how long we sit there and kiss each other, but our kiss gets interrupted by the pilot who informs us that we're about to take off. We put our seatbelt on and Marshall knows very well how nervous I am right at this moment, so he doesn't say anything, he just takes my hand and let me squeeze it. It's crazy because I've been travelling back and forward between New York and LA but I still get so damn nervous, the weirdest part is that as soon as we're in the air then I'm not nervous anymore, but it just makes me really nervous when we take off and when we land.
"Are you okay baby?" He asks me as soon as we're in the air and I'm calm again.
"Yes." I say and look at him. "Thank you." I say smiling. Marshall begins to run his fingertips up and down my arm and I just lean my head against his shoulder, non of us say anything for a few minutes.
"Can we just talk about that kiss?" He asks me which makes me giggle. "What?" He chuckles.
"Why do you wanna talk about it?" I giggle hiding my head into his neck getting all shy suddenly. I don't know how he can make me shy like that, we've known each other for 10 years and he's my boyfriend, I shouldn't get all shy around him like this, but I do.
"Are you getting shy baby?" He laughs as he grabs my head forcing me to look at him.
"No." I lie not making eye contact.
"Bullshit." He laughs. "You're blushing."
"Shut up." I say trying to turn my head away but he holds it in place.
"I like that I can still make you shy." He says and leaning closely against my lips.
"Stop teasing me." I whisper and he gives me a kiss, where he catches my bottom lip between his teeth, just like he knows I like it.
"I fucking love you, you know that, right?" He asks me.
"I love you too." I say against his lips but he pulls my head away and looks me into the eyes.
"You know I love you, right?" He asks me again.
"Yes Marshall, I do." I say. I don't know why he needs to hear it that bad, but if it's what he needs to hear then I'll gladly tell him.
"And you know that I would walk through fire to make you happy, right?" He asks and I just nod my head. "I wanna hear you say it."
"Yes, I know." I whisper. I don't know what's with him right now and why this is so important for him to hear, he's never like that and it's very strange.
"I'm so fucking sorry about that interview and.."
"Marshall, let's not talk about that right now." I cut him off. I don't wanna talk about it because we're having such a good moment right now and I don't wanna ruin it.
"Yes because it's fucking important for me that you know that I feel fucking bad. I fucked up big time and I fucking know that, I just wanna say that I really appreciate you being on this flight with me right now." He says.
"I love you even though you're an asshole." I say. Honestly it's scary how much I love him, I'm sure he could put me through shit and I would still love him, luckily I know he would never do that.
"I'll never do some shit like that again." He says.
"I hope not." I say as I look down.
"Hey." He says forcing me to look at him again. "I won't Amelia, I promise." I don't say anything, I just kiss his soft lips mostly to shut him up, I wanna have that moment back we had before, I don't wanna talk about our problems right, we have plenty of time for that when we get to Detroit.
"How long are you planning for me to stay?" I ask him after a long kiss.
"I'm in Detroit for 2 weeks so you can stay for 2 weeks if you like." He says.
"What about your kids?" I ask.
"What about them?"
"Ain't you gonna see them?" I ask.
"Are you still not ready to meet them?" He asks taking my hand.
"I don't know." I say turning my head away.
"Well.. I don't wanna lay pressure on you or anything but it would make things a hell lot more easier." He says and I look at him again. "When I'm in Detroit, I really wanna spend time with my girls but I really wanna spend time with you as well. Besides I still don't wanna have them finding out about us from the press so we have to pop it for them soon."
"I know." I say looking down. It's not because I don't wanna meet his kids but as I've said, I'm not that good with kids and what if they don't like me? It must be terrible for them having their dad finding a new girlfriend, what if they hate me because they feel that I'm ruing their family? What about Kim? I know how she can be as well and I know she doesn't approve our relationship, it's her kids and I don't wanna step on her toes.
"Why are you so nervous about meeting them? I know it's not just because you don't think you're good with kids." He asks.
"Kids just want their mom and dad to be together and by you announcing to them that I'm your girlfriend, just ruins their dream about your day Kim being a family again." I say.
"What if I introduce you as a friend as a starter?" Marshall asks me.
"Maybe." I say. Just the thought about meeting them makes me nervous, but it would ease it a bit if he doesn't introduce me to them as his girlfriend.
"Is that how you want it?" He asks.
"Yes it would be easier for me to meet them if they don't know that we're a couple." I say.
"Alright, then we'll do that." He says. He brings my hand to his mouth and kisses it gently and I do the same with his hand afterwards. I feel that we're some of those crazy lovesick couples, hell.. I guess we are. I lay my head on his shoulder again and we're quiet for a few minutes again.
"I thought I was gonna lose you." He then breaks the silence. I have no idea what to say because he did almost lose me and I can't just say that.
"But I'm here now." I say a few long seconds after.
"I can be so fucking self destructive sometimes man." He sighs.
"Hey." I say racing my head and grabs his jaw forcing him to face me. "I was stupid too okay? I visited Kevin knowing very well that you wouldn't like it, I should have discussed that with you first."
"Nothing happened, right? I won't be mad baby, we're cleaning this mess up now." He asks.
"Nothing happened." I assure him. Normally I would get really angry with him for not trusting me but I feel guilty for almost kissing Kevin that night, I won't ever tell Marshall that because he doesn't need to know that a visited him twice, specially when nothing happened and I'm not gonna see Kevin in the future anyway, I won't risk me and Marshall's relationship on that.
"Sorry I asked baby." He says.
"No it's fine baby." I say and kiss him.
On the whole flight to Detroit we just talk and we're being very affectionate with each other. It's scary that I love him so much, I think no matter how much he hurts me that I'll always love him, it's dangerous to love someone so much as I love Marshall, because what if he hurts me, like for real? I know he wouldn't, but just what if? I don't wanna go back there, I don't wanna be as unhappy as I was when I left Detroit. I know it was all my fault back then and I did it to myself but I was a fucking mess, I just can't go through that again. I know what Marshall went through must have been way worse, I don't even deserve his love after what I did to him, I don't even deserve his forgiveness but after all here we are anyways and there's no place I'd rather be.