Liquid Luck [Sirius Black]/editing

chapter 50

I'm concerned about Remus. The full moon is set to appear in two days time and he isn't looking so hot. His skin's gone pasty, under eye bags more defined, and his clothes are loosely hanging around his frail frame.

"Are you feeling fine, Rem?"

His beautiful amber eyes flick over to meet mine as we walk down the winding paths of Hogsmeade together. There's something that gleams in his eyes that tells me he desperately has something he wants to say but he's holding back as per usual. "Yes. M'fine." He mumbles quietly.

I divert my gaze down to the paper bags filled with sweets from Honeydukes held in his hands. "If you say so." I'm meant to bring up Violet as we shop. But how to go about it? "What do you think of Violet?" Blunt works.

He stops in his tracks and blushes furiously. "W-What?" I know he's heard me so I don't bother repeating my question. He bashfully kicks at a tiny pebble on the ground. "She's a friend."

"And?"

"And...nothing."

"Remus," I laugh lightly, reaching out to squeeze his hand encouragingly. "I may be an idiot but I'm not entirely oblivious."

"She's pretty, I suppose." The blush on his cheeks darkens. "And kind, very kind. And bright." I keep my big mouth shut as he lists on. He groans out suddenly, "I'm mad about her, Keeks."

"You are?!" I gasp excitedly.

"Yes." His voice is small and he's standing in the middle of the path awkwardly staring down at his shoes.

"Oh Remus, this is great! What are you planning on doing about it then?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?" I crinkle nose in dismay.

"Yes, nothing."

"You can't do nothing! Be bold, make a move."

"I can't."

"But why can't you? You're incredible, who wouldn't love you?"

"No, I'm not. I'm hideous and repulsive. I'm undeserving of someone as perfect as her. I can't be the person she deserves, Chiara. It'd be selfish. Besides, she could never fancy me back. I don't see the point in setting myself up for disappointment when she inevitably rejects me."

"Why are you being so mean to yourself? You're so much more than you think you are, Rem."

"You don't understand. You don't know what I..." He trails off. Except I do know. I want to tell him I do know and it changes nothing. "I'd just rather not talk about this anymore, please drop it."

"Remus –"

"No!" I jump back at the unexpectedly added volume to his voice. He spins on his heels and stomps off leaving me alone in the middle of the small village. I release a loud frustrated groan at his retreating figure and it echoes in the crisp air all around me.

This really isn't how I envisioned my talk with him to go.

I trudge back to the castle through the One-Eyed Witch passageway. Maybe it's time we tell Remus we know. He doesn't seem too keen on telling us anytime soon and if we already know then why keep it from him any longer?

Once I'm back, I work my way all the way up to the Gryffindor Tower and up the stairs to the third year boys dormitories. Slamming the door open, I find Remus laying back on his bed with a book in his lap. The second he spots me he slams the book shut and runs out of the room without a word.

"Are you two fighting?" James asks. "Remus seemed upset when he came back but he wouldn't tell us what about."

"I think we have to tell him. Today."

*

"This is awkward." Peter mumbles under his breath and in turn I nudge him in the ribs. The four of us are standing before Remus and we've locked the door, trapping him here so he can't run off again. In hindsight it probably isn't the best plan we could've come up with but here it is so there's no going back now.

"Remus," James starts after no one else has made any move to start up this intervention. "is there something you wish to tell us?" Oh Merlin, we're dead awful at this.

Remus chuckles nervously, wiping his sweaty palms against his jeans. "You're the ones that are keeping me here not the other way around."

"This is taking too long." Sirius impatiently declares. "Remy, we know you're a werewolf."

The room grows totally silent after that. The only distinct sound being the loud thumping of our hearts as we await his reaction. Remus' face drains of all colour and he remains frozen in place with his jaw fallen slack and his eyes anxiously wavering between each of ours.

"I –" His eyes glisten with unshed tears and he swallows audibly. He allows his back to hunch over and he directs his gaze to his hands in defeat. "Look, I get it, okay? I knew this would all come to an end eventually. You don't want anything to do with me now that you know."

"Remus James Lupin, we are your friends through and through dammit!" James quips to lighten the damp mood.

James' outburst manages to get a smile out of Remus but it's gone again as quickly as it appears. "You don't have to say that. I know what I am." Tears spill from his eyes and his voice involuntarily cracks as he says, "I'm a monster."

I frown and rush forward to kneel down in front of him. I gently slip one hand into his and rub circles over the top of it and with my other I take his chin between my fingers and guide him to look me in the eyes. "You listen to me right now." His eyes are pooling with sadness and it breaks my heart. "You are many things, Remus Lupin, but a monster is not one of them. You are the kindest boy I know. And you fold your socks. What monster folds his socks?"

He doesn't say anything so Sirius takes that as his cue to go on. "If you think for a second that something as minuscule as you sprouting fur every month is gonna get rid of us then you've got another thing coming, mate."

"Yeah!" James exclaims. "We don't scare that easy. If you turned into a spider on the other hand, then we'd be long gone."

My heart picks up in speed at the sound of a genuine laugh escaping Remus' lips. "I don't deserve you lot."

"We love you, Rem. Werewolf and all." Peter tells him.