MerDer: Make Your Heart Feel

Sudden Warmth

Meredith's POV:

A few weeks have passed since mine and Derek's awkward conversation in his office. After the first few initial awkward days it turns out that I am having a really good time working for him. It turns out that once we decided to set some boundaries we opened the door to a different kind of relationship, friendship.

"Brought you some coffee, from the window you like in the hub" he smiles coming into his office where I am already sat.

"Thanks Shep!" I smile using the nickname I have given him.

"No problem Mer, whatcha working on?" he asks handing me my cup and leaning over my shoulder to see what I am doing.

"Just homework, but I am not understanding anything," I sigh.

"Let me see if I can help," he smiles leaning over my shoulder to get a closer look.

He is so close to me now that I can feel the warmth radiating from him, and I can feel his breath on my neck. I take a deep breath inhaling his scent, a glorious mixture of coffee and cologne. He is almost intoxicating to me and I feel all the progress I have made trying not to think of him that way flying out of the window.

"Let me show you" He says his breath tickling my ear making me shiver.

He reaches around me taking my pencil from my hand and showing me how to label all the structures. He finishes showing me and I crane my neck to look at him. His blue eyes stare into mine and we are so close that with just the slightest bit of effort I could place my lips on his.

"Thank you, I think I get it now" I break the tension causing him to quickly stand up straight.

"If you ever needed extra help, I could tutor you?" he suggests as casually as possible sitting down next to me.

"Really? you wouldn't be to busy?" I ask shyly.

"I could find room in my schedule for you, we could start tonight, my place?" he suggests lightly taking a sip of his coffee.

"are you sure this isn't just some ploy to get me back to your bedroom" I let slip out covering my mouth in surprise that I even said that.

"I am so sorry Dr. Shepherd it just slipped out, I didn't mean that" I try to suppress my embarrassment as he actually chokes on the coffee he was drinking.

He just simply looks at me shaking his head trying to suppress a grin. I can't help but start laughing, I am not sure why it struck me as so funny as it was highly embarrassing but soon he begins to join in on my laughter. Our laughs meld together, forming a sound that can only be described as harmony.

"Seriously though you will tutor me?" I ask wiping tears from my eyes.

"of course I will, how does seven work for you?" he asks trying to regain composure

"Seven works perfect." I smile gently at him.

"Do you need me to pick you up or?" he trails off.

"It's probably best if I walk, wouldn't want Cristina to see" I reply awkwardly.

"Ah yes Ms. Yang" he chuckles "Professor Burke speaks very fondly of her, says she has a lot of promise"

"Yeah, she definitely has a good head on her shoulders" I smile.

"It's about time for me to go, see you at seven?" he smiles awkwardly.

"See you at seven" I say packing up my back and following him out the door.

I begin my small journey and can't help but wonder if he ever speaks fondly of me.

A few hours later: 6:30

"I will see you later Cristina!" I smile grabbing my favorite jacket.

"Why don't I believe you?" she laughs her nose pressed firmly in a book.

"I swear I will be back" I tell her seriously.

"Where are you even going?" she asks finally looking up at me.

"I told you, I got a new tutor" I tell her which technically is not a lie.

"No one has tutor sessions this time of night, unless its a tutor session and a booty call!" she says sitting up excited.

"This is not a booty call" I try to reason with her but apparently I am not convincing.

"Oh shit, well I hope he is not making you pay for lessons then!" she jokes going back to reading her book.

I head out the door, making my way to Derek's house, sincerely hoping that he does not think that this is some sort of booty call. I shake the thought out of my head as I find myself at his door. I give a quick knock and wait for his answer. He quickly opens the door, his face breaking into a smile as soon as he sees me.

"Meredith, come in!" he smiles opening he door and ushering me inside his home.

"Wow, it looks so..." I trail off.

"Different from the last time you were here." he finishes my thought.

"It just seems more lived in I guess" I blush trying to get us out of this awkward conversation.

"I figured it's about time I settle in, follow me to the kitchen, I hope you are hungry. I made spaghetti" he smiles walking towards his kitchen.

"I didn't realize you were cooking, I don't want to impose" I say feeling slightly uncomfortable by his sudden warmth.

"Nonsense, can't learn on an empty stomach, take a seat I will dish you up" he smiles at me gesturing to the stools by the counter.

I take a seat, feeling my palms getting sweaty. I thought this was just suppose to be a study session but it is starting to feel more like a date. I watch as he bustles about the kitchen and I can't help but admire the way he looks when dressed casually. He is wearing a simple pair of jeans and a blue knit sweater and I cant help but imagine what that shirt look likes crumpled up on his bedroom floor.

I shake the thoughts out of my head as he places a steaming plate of spaghetti in front of me. He grabs his own plate and sits down next to me. We dig in pausing only to make polite conversations, when all of a sudden he turns to me.

"Meredith.." he begins and I sense something changing in the atmosphere.

"Dr. Shepherd" I challenge back.

"You have some sauce on your face" he smirks and I go.

"Oh my god where" i exclaim my face turning a deeper shade of crimson.

"Let me get it" he smiles sweetly picking up a clean napkin.

He leans towards me and I feel my breath catch in my throat as he gently wipes the sauce from the corner of my mouth. His eyes lock with mine and for a brief moment I feel as though he might kiss me. He instead suggests that we should begin studying.

I concede, however there is a small part of me that wishes he would have kissed me.