MerDer: Make Your Heart Feel

It's just a matter of time

Derek's POV:

Meredith is a smart girl. So I don't understand why she is not understanding the anatomy of the human brain. I hate to say this, but it is one of the easiest to label, there is only five parts. Six if you count the brain stem. This is out third time going over the diagram and she is still not understanding, and now she is getting frustrated.

"I just don't understand it Dr. Shepherd." she sighs tears forming in her soft eyes.

"Lets get one thing cleared up, when we are hear, you call me Derek. Getting called Dr. Shepherd in my own home makes me feel weird." I smile at her trying to get her to cheer up a little.

"OK Derek, I still don't understand it." She groans laying her head down on the counter.

"Stand up Meredith" I demand getting an idea.

"What?" she looks at me confused lifting her head off the table.

"Come on stand up" I say again standing up myself.

She does as I say still looking at me very confused, I grab her by the shoulders and position her in front of me. Her green eyes are looking at me full of concern her gorgeous lips pressed together in a flat line. I give her my very best smile, hoping to loosen her mood. It works and a small smile forms at the corners of her mouth.

"Let me show you" I smile at her.

"Show me?" her brows furrow.

"This right here," I begin brushes my fingers lightly over her forehead and down to her temple "Is the frontal lobe, which is the easiest to remember since it is in front. can you tell me a few of the functions that the frontal lobe controls?"

"A few of the functions that the frontal lobe control are  behavior, judgment, mood, decision making, and behavior. " She says hey eyes focused intently on mine.

"Now this, " I pause running my fingertips from her temple to behind her ear " Is the temporal lobe, what does it control?

"Speech, behavior, emotion, memory, hearing, and vision." she answers not missing a beat.

"Now I am going to need you to turn around." I instruct and she does as asked, her back now facing me.

"What next" she asks her vulnerability showing through her voice.

"The parietal, which is right here." I gently comb my fingers through her soft hair where the parietal is located.

"The parietal is responsible for intelligence, telling right from left, reasoning, language, reading, and sensation" she says, she accentuated her final answer by pressing her body gently into mine.

I take a deep breath before I continue, trying to ignore the fact that her entire back is in full contact with my chest.

"Then below that comes the Occipital lobe, which is in charge of one thing" I prompt.

"Occipital is in control of vision, that is an easy one" I can hear the smile in her voice.

"Well can you finish the rest on your own?" I question trying to take a step back.

"I can," she smirks turning around her face dangerously close to mine.

"This right here" she grins wrapping her slender arms around my neck and tangling her fingers in my hair "Is the cerebellum which is in control of fine muscle control, balance and coordination. Is that right?" she looks at me innocently.

"yes" the words stumble out of my mouth as she leans in to whisper into my ear.

"There is just on more part, the brain stem" she whispers her lips clothes to my ear, she gently grazes my neck with her lips as she explains to me what the brain stem does.

"Meredith." I warn her trying to be stern.

"yes?" she asks teasingly her eyes flickering from my eyes to my lips and back again.

"We can't" I inform her trying to take a step back but she just takes a step with me and now she is even closer than before.

"Even if we want to?" she asks feigning innocence.

"Even if we want to" I sigh reaching behind my head to untangle her arms from around my neck.

Even if I really want to.

Meredith's POV:

I take a step back shocked that he finally admitted it and feeling guilty that I crossed the line. He has his back to me now holding his head in his hands obviously feeling he same guilt that I am. I consider apologizing, but what am I apologizing for? I wont apologize for wanting him, even if its wrong. I could never apologize for that, but I can apologize for crossing his boundaries.

"Derek?" I try waiting for him to turning around, but he doesn't.

"Derek please look at me?" I ask softly.

"Meredith" he sighs turning around and shaking his eyes sadly at me.

"I know I crossed the line." I admit.

"Yes you did, but I am the one who gave you the opportunity to cross it. Maybe me tutoring you was a bad idea" he states and I can feel worry in my stomach.

"Please Derek, I need help and you are the expert. I swear I can control myself" I plead with him.

"I'm not worried about you being able to control yourself." he admits shaking his head.

I am completely taken aback by his statement and I have no way to respond. I never even considered how being near to me makes him feel. I know he could lose his job if anyone found out about what we did, and hell he could get in trouble for tutoring me. I never even took the time to think about the repercussions.

"Derek please just give me one more chance, if it's too hard for either of us we can call these tutoring sessions off. I need this" I practically beg him to give me one more chance.

"Alright, we can try again next Wednesday, but Meredith if anything even close to what happened today happens again, its done" he says trying to be stern.

His voice is stern, but god his eyes convey a totally different message. His cerulean eyes tell me all of the things that he is too afraid to say, and I pray that my green ones don't speak as loud. His eyes tell me what we both know already know.

It's just a matter of time before we give in.