MerDer: Make Your Heart Feel

I Was Meant To Be Here.

Derek's POV:

She is nestled tightly in my arms as we lay in bed that night and I can't help but rest my hand on her barely there stomach. The gravity of the situation begins to weigh down on me, I got married today, like actually legally married. I got married and my wife is pregnant. I begin to laugh, it starts off as a light chuckle but soon turns to me laughing so hard that there are tears in my life.

"What are you laughing at?" she says not bothering to turn around in my arms.

"I can't believe we are married" I say finally recovering from my bout of laughter, I wipe the tears from my eyes and then put my hand back on her abdomen, "And we are having a baby" I add pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

"It's kind of a lot for one day huh?" she chuckles placing her hand over mine the cool metal of her ring taking me by surprise.

"I wouldn't change a thing" I whisper against her ear being completely honest.

"Me either, this feels right, like... I don't know I can't explain it" she says stuttering lightly as she tries to put her words together.

"You don't have to explain, I know what you mean, it's like all of this was meant to happen this way. Us, and this baby were meant to be a family" I smile feeling slightly emotional as I rub her abdomen.

"Can I tell you something?" she asks her voice quiet"

"Of course, you can tell me anything" I reply an edge of concern in my voice.

"When the Doctor first told me, I wasn't sure that I wanted to keep the baby... I didn't even know if I was going to tell you" I tense up at her words but let her continue, "The moment that I saw it on the ultrasound all my doubts went away, I know it's kind of silly, because it just looks like a little peanut, but I loved it already. And the more I thought about that night and how our love made that little blip on the screen I couldn't imagine not having it, and not telling you." She rambles her voice thick with emotion.

"I would have supported you whatever you chose" I begin as she threads her fingers through mine, "But I am glad you chose to keep it, and I am glad that we are having this baby together."

"I love you so much Derek" she chokes and although I can't see her it is obvious that she is crying.

"Meredith" I sigh sympathetically, "Turn around" I instruct my voice calm and soothing.

She turns around slowly refusing to look at me, I stroke her face causing her tear stained eyes to finally meet mine, to my surprise there is no sadness of pain reflected in them. Instead her green irises are filled to the brim with love and happiness.

"Hormones" she chuckles sniffling lightly.

"I love you Meredith, and our little peanut" I add the last part causing a smile to form on her gorgeous face.

"Is that what we are calling it now, Little Peanut?" she says her eyes lighting up at the idea.

"I don't see why not, Little Peanut Shepherd, fits don't it?" I laugh along with her.

"Uhm, how about Little Peanut Grey?" she challenges.

"Or, Little Peanut Grey-Shepherd" I say effectively ending any possible argument about whose last name our baby is taking.

"Do you want a boy or a girl" she asks her tears now completely dry and a sleepy smile on her face as she rests her head on my chest cuddling into me.

I take a moment to think about it, and I mean really think about it before speaking, "As long as the baby is healthy I am fine with either, but I would be happy with a girl"

"Really, I thought for sure you would say boy" she chuckles as I gently stroke her blonde hair.

"I want a girl, and I would want her to look just like her mommy" I say as I begin to picture a little girl with Meredith's green eyes and wavy blonde hair. She is quite for so long that I think she must have gone to sleep.

"What if I'm not a good mom" she says so quietly that I barely hear her.

"Why would you think that?" I ask my eyebrows knitting together.

"My mom was a Doctor, and never had any time for me. I don't want our little peanut to feel like I never make time for them." She admits. This is the first time that Meredith has ever really opened up about her relationship with her mother.

"Meredith, there are plenty of Doctors out there who are great mothers. You are going to be a wonderful mom" I say gently pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

"I sure hope so, I don't want our baby to grow up feeling like how I felt, I don't want it to feel alone" she says her voice fragile and her hand instinctively goes to her stomach.

"I promise that our baby will never feel alone. You are going to be the best mom Meredith, look at how great you were with all my nieces and nephews. And besides, our baby will have me as a dad" I say trying to lighten the mood.

"I already know you are going to be a great daddy" she adds the smile and happiness back in her voice, "I didn't know if I ever really wanted to have kids, but once I started imagining a future with you, I always pictured us having kids together"

"Kids, as in plural?" I ask a smile growing on my face.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, this one isn't even done cooking" she laughs her hand still pressed against her lower abdomen.

"I still can't believe this." I say shaking my head feeling like at any moment I might explode with happiness.

"Me either, but I am happy, are you happy?" she asks raising her head off my chest to look at me.

"I have never been happier in my entire life" I smile leaning in to kiss her, "Now let's get to sleep, it's late"

She just nods smiles giving me one more quick kiss before laying her head back on my chest. I lay there just listening to her breathing become even a smile on my face. I have everything I could have ever wanted. I am working my dream job and I am married to and having a baby with the woman of my dreams. We went through so much to get here, but I couldn't imagine my life ending up differently. I was meant to be here, with her by my side and our little peanut growing every day. I was meant to be here.