MerDer: Make Your Heart Feel

I have a thing for ferry boats.

Meredith's POV: Wednesday morning.

I am awakened by the sunlight streaming through the curtains. I reach out for him to find that he is no longer in bed with me. I frown, I have grown so used to waking up in his arms that something about waking up alone feels wrong. Opening my eyes in search of him, he is no where to be found but I can faintly hear his voice from out on the balcony. I decide to get up stretching my arms high above my head and brushing sleep from still tired my eyes.  I grab the hotel robe and wrap it tightly around my naked body as I move to the kitchen in search of coffee.

I pour myself a steaming cup and dump two sugars in it grabbing a spoon and giving it a gentle stir  before walking out onto the balcony to find him. He is sat there freshly showered, shaved and dressed and I cant help but feel offended that he took a shower without me. He smiles brightly when he sees me and gives mouths one moment as he listens to whoever he is on the phone with.

I lean down kissing him gently on his freshly shaven cheek before going to sit nearer to the balcony. I sip my coffee slowly sighing at how delicious it tastes as I watch the heavy traffic below. New York is such a wonderful place, and now it holds so many memories for us. Not including our one night stand over three months ago this is where we had our first kiss. New York is where he first asked me to be his, this is the room that he first ever made love to me. New York is where Derek first told me he loved me. We are safe here and we are happy here. I don't ever want to leave. I know that once we get back to Seattle that this little bubble we have will finally burst. I look at him sadly as he finishes his conversation.

"We will see mom, yeah I love you too, talk to you soon" He smiles hanging up the phone.

"Good morning" I smile sadly at him unable to brush my earlier thoughts and worries away.

"Hey what's wrong Mer?" he asks concerned.

"It isn't important" I try to deflect not wanting to cause any arguments.

"Meredith, come here" he sighs opening his arms and beckoning me over.

I sigh setting down my coffee and moving to sit with him. I sit on his lap and his arms instantly wrap around me one hand stroking my wavy hair softly. I lean down to kiss him, not quiet ready to talk about what's bothering me. He allows it his lips softly touching mine. He eventually pulls away needing to make sure that I am okay.

"Meredith what is wrong?" he pleads.

"What happens when we get back to Seattle..." I ask looking at him sadly.

"What do you mean?" he cocks his head to the side.

"Are you still going to want to be with me?" I ask feeling so very insecure.

"Meredith Grey, of course I am going to still want to be with you" he laughs gently stroking my cheek.

"But what do we do Derek, it has been so easy to forget that what we are doing is wrong" I look at him tears threatening my eyes.

"If what we are doing is wrong I don't want to be right. I love you Meredith Grey, and while in Seattle we may not be able to be out in the public, please don't ever doubt that. I am in this." He sweetly tells me leaning in to claim my lips

I feel all of my earlier worried wash away as he kisses me. I feel my chest expand, and I know that in my heart I love him. I love Derek Shepherd. He always knows what to do or say to keep me calm. He truly is perfect. He pulls away resting his forehead against mine. 

"What did you Mamma want" I ask him, not moving from his lap.

"She was calling to invite us to thanksgiving tomorrow" he looks at me nervously

"us?" I question

"Yeah, I told my mom that I was seeing someone" she shrugs his shoulder sheepishly.

"Did you tell your mother that I am ten years younger than you? or how about the fact that I am a student in one of your classes!" I laugh looking at him like he is crazy.

"I might have left that part out" he looks at me anticipating my reaction.

"Derek Christopher Shepherd are you out of your damn mind! she is going to hate me!" I screech.

"Meredith she isn't going to hate you, my mom just wants me happy and you make me happy" he says kissing my cheek.

"You really mean that? you think she will like me?" I look at him solemly.

"Yes, her and my sisters will love you!" he smiles ruffling my hair.

"Sisters.." I swallow harshly as I think about his four sisters.

"Meredith, it is okay if you don't want to go, I understand. but they do want to meet you, and I want to introduce you to my family." he smiles.

"Well..." I ponder for a moment. "Okay yeah, we can have thanksgiving at your moms"

He grasps my face in his hands kissing me long and hard and I swear that his happiness is almost too much for me to bare. I love making him happy, even if it means putting myself in a situations that I feel uncomfortable in.

"Where does your mom live?" I ask as he pulls away.

"Staten Island" He tells me.

"So we are going to have to take a ferry?" I inquire looking into his blue eyes

"Yes" he smiles wide like a child.

"Does that excite you?" I laugh at his intense reaction to my mentioning of ferry boats.

He looks at me lovingly "Yes in fact it does, I have a thing for ferry boats"