Chapter 58: The Day They All Said Goodbye

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You know the phrase "You don't know what you got until it's gone?" Well, James is finally realizing how true that is. He loved Jenna and he always appreciated her, but he never realized how special she was until he lost her. It has been six days since she died. Yeah, they've been the worst days of his life. He never smiles anymore and he's looks terrible because Kenzie wakes him up two, sometimes three times a night. He loves his baby girl and it kills him to know that she won't have her mommy to help him take care of her.

Today is Jenna's funeral, something that James has really been dreading. It's gonna be an open casket ceremony. Yeah, like he really wants to see his dead wife in a box. He doesn't want to see her in that casket and he really doesn't wanna see her being put in the ground. His heart is already broken beyond repair and he fears that this ceremony will only worsen his pain. At the same time, however, he feels that he needs to go because it would feel wrong if he didn't. He knows that Jenna would want him to be there.

He sniffles as he picks Kenzie up, fixing the straps on her little dress. Everyone else is dressed in black, but Kenzie is wearing a white dress. She's a baby, so she doesn't necessarily have to wear black. He chose this dress because Jenna got bought it. She would like to see Kenzie wearing it. She was about seven months along when she bought the dress. She had been shopping at Babies R Us, where she found this dress and just had to buy it. James was barely holding back tears when he was getting Kenzie dressed.

"James, we're going." Ms Knight says softly, peeking into the room.

"Okay." James says softly, lowering Kenzie into her carrier. She looks at him with the most innocent eyes. She is completely oblivious to the heartbreak happening around her. She probably doesn't even realize that they're going to her mommy's funeral. James quickly snaps out of his daze, picking the carrier up. Ms Knight rubs his back as he walks past her, following him into the hallway.

"Is it okay if I hold her?" Carlos says quietly.

Instead of actually talking, James nods and allows Carlos to lift the baby girl from the crib. Carlos kisses her cheek as they walk down the hallway in completely silence. The whole Palm Woods has been different since Jenna died. No one really talks to each other. They just sit together in silence and some people will even cry. Kendall, Carlos, and Logan have went to the pool a few times, but James won't go anywhere with them. He barely says a word to anyone. He's scaring everyone, yet he doesn't seem to care. He doesn't seem to care about anything.

"Kenzie, are you sleepy?" Carlos asks as the baby girl starts closing her eyes.

"She wants to take a nap." Katie says, stroking Kenzie's cheek.

They leave the elevator and meet the girls by the main entrance.

"How are you feeling, baby?" Brooke asks, pulling her son into a hug. James sniffles and shrugs, burying his face in her shoulder. He holds back a sob and pulls away from her, walking out to the black limo. When Lacey gets into the vehicle, James is concerned for her. This isn't the wild party girl that they all know and love. She looks just as bad as he does, maybe even worse. There's no sign of emotion in her eyes, not even as Gabby pulls her into a hug. Jenna's death has completely screwed them over.

Soft piano music plays as they enter the dimly lit funeral home. In the very front row, Jenna's family is sitting, crying together. In the front of the room, there are flowers given by people that James most likely doesn't know, along with a podium and...Jenna's casket. While his mom and his friends take their seats, James just stands in the middle of the hallway, staring at the casket. His vision is blurred by tears, but he manages to make his way to the casket. First, he looks at the picture seated on top of the bottom half of the casket. Jenna looks so alive and so beautiful. It was a picture from their engagement photo shoot with Marcos. He had wanted to get some pictures of them together and some by themselves.

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