Love or Fame?

Chapter 51

~A Few Days Later~

Spin and Diggy were in my house. They've been here for a few days now. To be honest, I kinda wanted them to leave sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I love them with all my heart but I miss being able to just walk around in just my bra and panties sometimes. You know, those days when you're just like fuck everything, I'm home alone. Yeah, that. But I know that they're here to make sure that I'm safe. Anyway, I'm still not over the fact that Diggy slept with another girl. Since he's been staying here, I haven't let him step foot in my room. I knew he wouldn't wanna leave and I couldn't have him in my bed. Not now. I honestly don't know when I'll get over it but until I do, he's gonna have to keep his distance. I know that's kinda hard to do knowing that we're in the same house, but he just won't leave. The good thing is, he hasn't tried anything. He's been doing pretty good at keeping his distance - no hugs, no kisses, nothing. Just eye contact & small talk.

After doing my hygiene routine, I went downstairs to make something to eat. When I got in there, Diggy was sitting at the table on his phone. I hesitated before walking in but went in anyway.

He looked up at me.

Diggy: hey

Me:...hey *opens fridge*

He was watching my every move but remained silent. I took out the OJ and poured it. After a few seconds of staring, he finally spoke.

Diggy: I uh, I made you breakfast.

He pointed to my plate.

Me: oh...thanks

I sat down and started eating. I looked up and he was still staring at me. I'm not gonna lie, it was kinda awkward. Usually, when he does that, I smile. Not this time.

Me: *sigh* Diggy

Diggy: what? You want me to leave?

Me: you don't have to but just stop staring at me

Diggy: so I can't admire my girlfr- you...anymore?

Me: you know what? *gets up* we're not doing this right now.

Diggy: *runs & grabs me* hol up

Me: Diggy, please let me go

Diggy: Just listen to me. Please.

Me: *sigh/turns to face him* what?

Diggy: Lexi, I know it's only been a few days, but I miss you. I'm sorry for hurting you-

Here we go again with the apologies.

Me: okay, stop. Diggy, aren't you tired of always saying sorry to me? Why can't you just...stop. Stop with all the BS. I'm tired of it Diggy. I keep taking you back because I love you. This time's different. I can't keep-

Diggy: why is it different?

Me: why? Really?

Diggy: okay, I know I was wrong, but if you take me back because you love me, why can't you do the same now? You don't love me anymore?

Me: I didn't say that

Diggy: so what are you saying, Lexi?

Me: I'm saying that this time isn't the same! You sleeping with someone else isn't something easy to forgive, Diggy! I can't trust you anymore. I don't even know why I'm even letting you stay here.

Diggy: I just wanna make sure you're safe

Me: well if that's the case, Spin can stay

Diggy: so you want me to leave?

Me: honestly, yes. I think that would be best.

Diggy: *sigh* Lexi, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to do or say to make you see that and just forgive me.

Me: we talked about that. I told you to give me time and keep your distance, which you are NOT doing right now *pushes him away*

Diggy: I gave you time.

Me: *scoffs* yeah, Diggy. 3 days is just enough time. I'm just gonna drop everything and forgive you after just 3 days. That's how life works.

Diggy: Lexi, I love you. You know th-

Me: love means never to say that you're sorry. How could you hurt the one you love just like you don't care? (my mom used to play that song when I was little and I never really liked it but now that I'm older, I love it lol! Back to the story!)

Diggy: Lexi-

Me: Diggy, can we please not do this?

I looked away as he got closer.

Diggy: we can't just- look @ me

Me: no. I can't

Diggy: why not?

Me: because Diggy, every time I look into your eyes, it's like I get lost in them. I can't do this right now, Diggy.

I was about to walk away, but he pulled me back, had me against the wall, and kissed me passionately.

Diggy: I love you, remember that. Forever and always.

He looked into my eyes a few seconds then walked out and left me there. Damn, what did he just do to me? His kisses always made me feel...calm. I mean, my heart always ran a marathon, but I was still at peace. That's exactly what just happened. I really do love Diggy, but it's gonna take more than just "I'm sorry" to fix this. I need to make sure that he really is sorry. But how? Pause, if all I keep hearing from him is "I'm sorry," why do I keep taking him back? I know I love him, but if he doesn't love me enough to just stop apologizing all the time, he's just gonna keep hurting me. I don't know what to do.

What should she do? Forgive him? Or let him suffer a little more? Leave comments!