Love or Fame?

Chapter 93

I sat on the floor for a few more minutes as the tears were flowing down like a river. Thinking. Thinking. Thinking. I've had enough. I'm done. I'm done fighting. I'm done crying. I'm done hurting. I'm just...so...done. I know every relationship has it's ups and downs but with us, it feels like we have more downs than up. & I'm done with it. When I say I'm done, I don't mean with us. I refuse to ever give up on us. But I'm done with us always having to say sorry. "Love means never to say that you're sorry." I wanna work on this, on us. I don't wanna fight over the same things anymore. Lying, cheating, no trust. All that needs to stop. Maybe me working with Damian isn't the smartest thing to do. I mean, it's my career and I love it, but I love Daniel too. I love him more than anything and I'm not willing to risk losing what we have because of situations like this. I wiped my tears and got up. I picked my phone up and texted Damian. If I called, he'd know I was crying by the sound of my voice and he just doesn't need to know that. I told him that I can't work with him anymore. I didn't say anything about Diggy. I also apologized. After a few minutes went by, he replied saying that he's disappointed, but he understands. I felt bad, but I had to do what I had to do. Then I decided to just go to bed. It took a while, but I finally went fell asleep.

*Diggy's P.O.V*

What the hell did I just do? Why did I do that? What's wrong with me? Why do I keep hurting her? All these questions. So many thoughts. I was so wrong for what I said. What she just said...it really hit me like a wrecking ball man. "I'm not...you," is the line that made my heart sink. I gotta make things better.

*The Next Morning*

I'm downstairs eating breakfast. I made it simple, the way Lexi likes it, with the OJ on the side. She's not a big eater so she liked her breakfast nice and simple with fruits on the side. She bout that healthy life.

It's 12 in the afternoon and Lexi still hasn't come down yet which is unusual. She's usually up earlier. 10 the latest. I guess she's still really upset. Or stayed up all night. I barely got any rest with her not beside me & me not being able to hold her. It would've been the right thing to do to go in the other room to try to fix things, but I decided to let her calm down first. I know how she gets when she gets upset and I wasn't tryna get knocked tf out.

A few minutes later, while I was eating, I heard footsteps coming downstairs. I looked up and there she was, about to walk in. When she looked up and saw me, she stopped in her tracks, but continued to walk in. She must have taken a shower b/c she wasn't in my T-shirt, which I love seeing her in, anymore. She was all dressed with her hair done but no makeup. I love seeing her with no makeup on. I mean, she's pretty with makeup on. But honestly, I think she's even prettier without it. "Good morning babe," I said as she walked in. She looked up at me again and replied. "Good morning," she said lowly. "I already made you breakfast," I said. "Thanks," she said as she sat around the table across from me. I watched her as she sat down and and drank some of the orange juice. I just wanna hug her, kiss her, tell her how much I love her and how sorry I am. I'm sorry, that's all I've been saying in this relationship. Hell, I've been saying it even before the relationship even officially started. I'm such a great person to be with aren't I? I took a deep breath and spoke. "Babe, I just wanna say-" "can you pass the ketchup please," she said cutting me off. Well then..."um, okay," I said reaching for the ketchup bottle and passing it over to her. "So as I wa-" "thank you," she interrupted again. "Lexi," I said annoyed. "What," she said with an attitude. "I'm tryna talk to you ab-" "and I'm talking to you. Right? I'm not ignoring you am I?" "No, but I'm tryna-" "Diggy, honestly, I just don't wanna hear it right now. It's like a cycle. You do something, then you say sorry, then you do something again. I honestly don't think you mean it when you apologize. You say how sorry you are, but then you do something else that makes me wanna just...*sigh* listen, I don't wanna get into another argument with you so let's just not speak okay? We're definitely gonna talk about this and try to work things out, but you see, I just got up and I'm not in the mood right now. I just wanna eat and just chill for a bit. Can I do that please," she asked. Wonderful attitude. Just wonderful. "Oookaayy, someone's in a bad mood," I said. "What did you expect Diggy," she asked. I just remained silent. Nothing I say right now is just gonna make things worse. I got up to wash the dishes instead. When I was done, I went into the Living room and turned the TV on.

*10 minutes later*

I wasn't even paying attention to the TV so I turned it off and just laid there with my eyes closed. Suddenly, I felt a gentle touch on my arm. I opened my eyes and saw Lexi standing over me. "I'm sorry," she said. "For what? You did nothing wrong. It was all me," I replied as I sat up. She sat next to me and spoke again. "It's my fault that we're even arguing in the first place. I should've never agreed to work with Damian. Not when I know that you don't like him," she said. "Yeah but I shouldn't have accused you of cheating on me," I replied. "We were both wrong," she said. "Babe, I'm so sorry. Honestly. The things I said shouldn't have been said and I was so wrong for all of it." I took her hand and lifted her head with my finger. "I want you to know that I love you with all my heart, more than life itself. I have a weird way of showing it though because I'm always messing up. But I promise, I'll do better." "We both have some things we need to work on. Starting with trust. I'm not giving up on us Diggy. We've been through too much. I know we'll have fights but I just never want it to be on situations like this. So let's just drop this and move on okay?" I smiled at her. "Okay. Thank you," I replied. Speaking of the reason of this argument, isn't she still working with him? "So you goin over to the studio now," I asked. "Oh, no. I told him that I won't be working with him anymore," she replied. "I know I said I didn't like it. But it's your career and it's important. I shouldn't be telling you what to do when it comes to it. Go. Work on it. I'll be fine. Your career's important to the both of us and you love it. So-" "no," she interrupted. "My career is important but they'll be other people to work with. Our relationship is important too. & yeah, I love what I do, but I love you more." I smiled. "You're the best. I love you so much," I said leaning in for a kiss. I know it's only been a day, but I really missed her lips. Her soft, gentle lips. "So um, you want my pancakes," she asked. "You didn't finish em. I'm shocked. You love those." "I know, I just didn't want them today." She usually wants the pancakes. Her not finishing them is like Roger not wanting wings. It never happens. "Oh, well yeah, I'll eat it. Did you want anything else? I know you love that new McDonald's wrap. I can go get you one," I offered. "No, I'm good. I'm just gonna go upstairs and rest. I'm kinda tired." She turned down another one if her favorites? She's gonna go rest? Usually, she's more energetic. What's going on with her? "Babe, you okay? You turned down your favorites and you're not as energetic as you usually are," I asked in concern. "Um, yeah. I'm...I'm fine. I'm just tired." She got up, kissed me, and said "when you're done, join me okay?" "You ain't gotta tell me twice," I replied. She laughed, winked, and went upstairs. I hope she really is okay. She's not...herself. Not just the food and her being tired, but she looked a bit drained. Maybe she's just catching something.

After eating the pancakes and washing the dishes, I went upstairs into our room and there she was knocked out. This really is strange. She rarely does this. & the fact that she's knocked out that fast is weird too. She's either real tired or coming down with something. I went in the bed and cuddled her. She didn't open her eyes, but she did smile. That smile made me smile. I'm just happy to be holding her again. I kissed her cheek, whispered "I love you," and just continued to hold her. My precious wife to be.