i can't stop falling asleep on the phone with strangers because i am too afraid to be alone at night
mostly because when i am
you burn your way through my eyelids and crawl out from between my ribcage
you smile and you grab my hips and pull me closer and whisper in my ear about stories I've never heard and books ive never read
you explore my soft skin with your calloused fingers, leaving love notes on my stomach and splashes of purple on my collarbone
when i wake from the dream with memories spilling down my cheeks and the " i love you's" clogged in my burning throat
it is not your voice that I hear on the other line
it is not your smooth voice rolling over soothing words and reassuring me
it is not your lips forming the words and humming my favorite songs so that the demons cover their ears and cower
because he does not know my favorite words and he does not know the songs that make my demons that trudge through my head feeeze and collapse
and even if he did, his voice will never have the raw, beautiful power to do anything effective
so i will continue to waste my words on strangers because you stopped wasting yours on me
