kairos

wrapping paper & smelly candles

this is a thank you letter to the boy i loved last. who taught me love knows no bounds, no distance, and is not only rainbows and sunshine but tastes pretty sweet drinking it in when it is. for six months I knew happiness, falling asleep with your voice on the other end of the phone. You were not only my boyfriend, but my best friend too. I could spend all day talking to you and I often did. Like the night we first fell for each other, I fell more and more everyday into the routine of loving you. I've never payed so much to anyone and I wanted to learn every detail about you that made you into the person I was so enamored by. Little did I know I wouldn't get all of the time I wanted to do so. Through every argument, I loved you more. Through every snow cone flavor, puppy name, song title, family drama, childhood memory, I fell more and more into you. Falling in love with you scared my tired heart the same way a good roller coaster does. One time during a bad argument you shattered my heart into pieces when you told me that I need to learn to accept the love I give instead of destroying it and turning every home into a house. I wish I would've stopped then and listened and hung up Christmas lights in my soul with you but instead we began to tear down the walls from their very foundation. We were so beautiful and we knew it, but it was terrifying. I just wish we both wouldn't have given up but that's another thing you taught me, love isn't always enough to save everything.