they tell you not to make homes out of people but they never tell you how to notice if you do they don't give you the warning signs like they do with the brown eyed storms that destroy your life
when I was too drunk to remember the way back home I walked wherever my feet took me inhaling the stars as I walked and dancing to the sound of my tears falling on the concrete I didn't realize why I was crying but when I realized I was stopped at your doorstep I realized why
I sank in on myself and folded up my thoughts like lawn chairs sobbing on your porch like a lost child you opened up the door and wrapped your arms around my crumbling body and even though we have not spoken in weeks you kissed my forehead and smoothed back my hair as you nudged the door shut behind you leaving my heartbreak in a puddle on the surface of your steps you carried me up the stairs as I hiccuped and cried and you whispered over and over
princess, princess, princess
you stripped me of my shame and my blood and grief soaked clothes and wrapped me in a warm soft t-shirt and slipped socks on my feet because you know my feet are always cold I sank into your bed and then into you as you slipped in beside me and held me while I cried. you did not ask me why I was out so late, or why my knuckles were bruised and there was blood on my skin. you heard all of the answers in the sound of my sobs and felt them in my body shaking.
and when the next morning rolled around, you were still there. warm hands on the skin of my back and the sound of your heart beat in my ear.
when the sun goes down I'll wander back home and you will not be surprised when I don't talk to you for weeks and in those weeks I will hate myself for pushing you away and knowing what I was doing and not stopping it. but when I show up at your door, you will always open it before I even knock.
- I didn't deserve you in the beginning and I still don't.
