how do i tell you that i don't want to live in my own skin anymore?
it is so unfair to give me a body that doesn't look like theirs
to constantly wonder why anyone ever wants to be around me or compliments me or thinks so highly of me
when at the end of the day
when i look in the mirror
all i see is someone i don't want to be
someone who isn't worthy of love, by myself or anyone else
no one sees me the way i see me
they don't see me at my most horrible states
the bulges of fat that stick out over my jeans
the rolls on my back
they just see me suctioned into those tight jeans with a tshirt that covers all of those things
- lying to myself and everyone else
